Roots and Wings

Earlier this month, we helped move our older daughter out as she’s off to her first full-time job as a college grad. She is officially grown, flown, and on her own. Such a bittersweet experience, with feelings of pride, sadness, excitement, happiness, and anticipation (yes, there’s tears behind my sunglasses!). I’ve long believed that two of the most lasting gifts we can give our children are ROOTs and WINGs. And I find solace in the fact that she’ll always have the foundation of the values we’ve instilled, and that moving out is a natural evolution for the next phase of her personal and professional growth.

I admit there was a moment or two when I wanted to say, “don’t go”? And perhaps not so surprisingly after over three decades in corporate America, I had flashbacks to conversations with the words, “you’re not releasable”! I’ve heard that phrase countless times and it has caused quite a bit of consternation throughout my career. I’ve experienced managers using it and encountering it both when one of their people is being recruited as well as when they are seeking to recruit someone themselves. Does this sound familiar?

I believe that the pursuit of a new opportunity – whether it be inside an organization, or outside of it – whether it be within or across industries – is almost always rooted in the desire to grow. Whether it’s growth of the financial, geographic, skills, technical, functional, cultural, experiential, time, and/or relationship kind, we choose to leave something to go to something different because we believe that we’ll be better because of it. And while that choice may be scary, sad, or bittersweet, it is also exciting, intentional, and filled with the anticipation of growth.

“You’re not releasable” flies in the face of this quintessentially adult choice we have when it comes to our lives inclusive of our careers. Now, don’t misunderstand me, as a leader there are times when it’s imperative to keep the team stable and certain players in particular roles for longer than they would like. In those cases, it’s the leader’s role to compel the individual to stay, to deepen their engagement and understanding including whatever recognition and rewards should accompany this tenure. Ultimately, the person should want to choose to stay.

I’ve also seen the misstep made by leaders who feel that if they’ve invested in and progressed someone over a period (perhaps a loose analogy to raising a child), that the person is indebted to them in some way. How many times have you seen terrific talent in an organization held back because they were “too good” to “let” move to another role? IMHO this is a big mistake for the obvious reasons of choice and consequences.

There’s nothing that is more rewarding as a leader than to see people whom you’ve coached, mentored, and sponsored over the years be successful. Grown, flown, and on their own. It’s a leader’s job to create more leaders, and to help people develop to their fullest potential - one which is dynamic and ever growing. It doesn’t mean that the relationship is destined to weaken though. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Roots and wings. What do you think?

“You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, so…Get on your way!” ~Dr. Seuss, “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”