The Root of Character

I posted a question in Microsoft Teams last Monday morning, asking my team which one of the new Quicken Loans House Commitmentz they connected with the most.

The most popular answer was Character. It happened to be my answer as well.

One of our newest companies within the Rock Family of Companies (Dictionary.com) defines char·ac·ter as "moral or ethical qualities" and also "the aggregate of traits that form the individual nature of a person."

I also looked up how we define in·teg·ri·ty. It is "the adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character"

The two go hand in hand. One is at the true and genuine nature of who a person is and what they believe (character), and the other is the commitment to live out those beliefs (integrity).

How a person operates when no one is watching, or how they handle themselves in situations where they have an advantage, shows integrity. Those are representations of how much, or how little, character a person has. Character, therefore, goes deeper than actions. Actions are the result of the belief system that a person has. Those beliefs guide how we conduct ourselves in EVERYTHING we do. Character goes to the root and nature of who a person is and what they believe.

A handful of years ago, I was asked to lie to some of my biggest customers. I called the CEO that night and resigned. He didn’t understand why telling a little white lie mattered so much to me. I believed that this was not doing the right thing. He tried to convince me that it was a big misunderstanding. He ended up offering me the opportunity to run the North Carolina division of that company. I explained again that this wasn’t a company that my beliefs aligned with... and yet it still didn’t make sense to him.

My character and beliefs didn't align with decisions being made, but it was integrity that I had to exercise so that my actions aligned with who I said I was.

The cost of that decision was HUGE. It meant losing my sponsored work visa, having no certainty or immediate income (halfway through my engagement with a pending wedding coming up) and caused me to spend the following months cleaning out warehouses, doing yard work, and working as a receptionist to make the ends meet while I waited on my green card to arrive. Those were 4 of the longest months of my life. But it was the making of me. I remember to this day throwing cardboard boxes into a dumpster in late April 2014, feeling humbled, yet smiling and telling myself, "This is just a season. You made the right decision. It's all going to make sense in reverse."

Things can get really messy when people start weighing in on moral and ethical behavior. I'm not here to get in the middle of that. Everyone has their own compass that's been shaped over a lifetime. I just want to share an example where I managed to stand firm in my beliefs and showed it with my actions. Let me be clear though... There are numerous examples where my actions have failed to align with my beliefs. I'm pretty sure that I'd tap out on the character limit for a LinkedIn post if I tried to describe them all.

I lay this out here because we too often only show our highlight reel on social media and never acknowledge our failures. As we make mistakes, those are the opportunities that we have to learn from. To change what we believe and more importantly, how we will act moving forward. Thankfully, I've learned more from my mistakes than my victories and have grown through failing forward over the years.

Let me ask you a few questions:

• Do you have clarity on the belief system that you operate with every day?
• Do you take account of the wins, when your character and integrity align?
• Do you encourage yourself to get better when they don't?

If you’re just “in motion” every day, then you’re reacting. Reactionary people can fall into the trap of cutting corners or looking the other way when they see something that's broken because it's more convenient. How do I know? Because I've made these mistakes in my life. I had to make a decision to change. To be a man of integrity and character no matter what.

Stop and think about why you’re making certain decisions each day. If you’re not happy with how you’re showing up, challenge yourself to dig into the beliefs you’re living with. Resolve to change those beliefs and live with intention.

Be a person of character at the deepest level of who you are, and commit to having integrity that consistently lines up with who you say you are.