A Rookie's Guide to Being Powerful and Dangerous!

Anybody can be powerful and dangerous!

Before we find the most sought-after answers to this question on how to become influential, let's dissect this popular adage- Good people suffer the most.

Why does this happen?

Because good people are too good at doing something they are too good at, being too good.

This tongue twister which I made just now (Accidentally) can be confusing to say and understand.

Let me give an example.

Ganesh loves a girl. He serves her at her beck and call. He takes her out for an expensive dinner, introduces her to his parents, and buys her whatever she asks, even if it's below his financial ability.

At the office, he helps every colleague, works till 2 AM even on weekends, and overloads himself with unnecessary tasks.

One fine day, his girlfriend leaves him.

On another fine day, he loses his job.

Ganesh gets shattered and depressed.

You might say now, "See, good people suffer the most."

Nope, I disagree!

Being good is a virtue that not every human can afford.

But, being good, with low confidence, high expectations, and too much of insecurities is toxic.

The breakup and job loss can turn into a blessing if Ganesh makes himself so confident and dangerous.

Dangerous doesn't mean becoming a playboy or leading office politics.

That's the pothole he can dig for himself.

If he does that, no self-respecting, high-quality woman will look at him. None of his colleagues would respect him if he creates a toxic atmosphere at work. That would impact his career adversely.

He just has to do two simple things: He should believe in himself. He should be confident about his abilities.

Even if the girl leaves him, even if his boss fires him, he should believe that he deserves something better.

The girl should think thrice before moving on to another man. Even if she moves on due to various situations, she should hold strong respect and opinion about Ganesh forever.

The boss should refuse if someone suggests he put Ganesh's name on the list of employees getting laid off. Ganesh should be the go-to person he can rely upon to get things right when the company is going under shambles.

Believe me, it's not easy to attain that level of stature. It's lonely up there! Only 1% of the world's population has ever reached that spotlight.

How do you get there?

Make yourself irreplaceable and expensive.

How?

Here are a few things you can start doing to get ahead of the power dynamics:

?? Dress up well

There is nothing wrong with hitting the gym, buying a makeup set or using hair extensions. Make sure that you dress up for the occasion.

?? Prioritise your physical and mental health

Your company will replace you if, God forbid, anything happens to you. There is no point in overworking if you aren't happy and healthy. Check out that yoga class, listen to calming music and do everything you can to stay at the pink of your health.

?? Learn, upskill and repeat

No employee would want to invest in an employee who knows nothing about what he's doing. Even if you love someone a lot, that's not enough to feed you.

Every job is temporary. Unconditional love is as rare as hit Kamaal R Khan films in 2022.

Knowledge is ultimately the power. You can thrive only if you are a master of your art. That takes time. Keep learning.

Learn whatever, wherever and whenever you can. Never hesitate to attend those webinars, take up an online certification course, subscribe to newsletters, find a mentor and spend an evening date with a book as your companion.

?? Communication matters!

Don't apologise unless you are wrong.

Don't over explain to someone who doesn't care about you.

Don't beg someone for attention when they aren't into you.

Learn how to speak like a leader. That doesn't mean you have to be serious 24x7.

Work on your sense of humor, communication tone, emotions, and everything it takes to become a good orator.?

?? Be fun to hang out with

A sense of humor is a weapon you can use to captivate anyone in any situation. Make use of it. You needn’t be Charlie Chaplin. A positive outlook on life can make you master this skill.

?? Control your emotions

Don’t complain about everything and anything to anyone. Don’t give king-sized treatment to those people who don’t deserve even a minute of your time, how much ever you like them. Let only people who deserves it really unravel those mysteries around your emotions. Your partner broke up but you have to support your parents financially? Don’t assort to negative coping techniques and lose yourself. Instead, be a master of your own emotions and take care of your family.

?? Don't expect anything, from anyone or anything

Dating someone? Be interested in knowing about them. Validate if they are worth your time. Don't expect them to stay forever. If they want, they will stay. If not, they will quit.

Starting a new job? If you perform well and the company culture is awesome, you will get all the incentives. If not, you part ways.

As simple as it is.

Focus on your growth as a person and professional. Right things will reach you :)

?? Don't tolerate negativity

Nobody is going to give you an award for being in an emotionally abusive relationship. You needn't apologise when your boss threatens to fire you in front of everyone just because you are 5 minutes late. Have some self-respect. Stand up for yourself.

?? Be mysterious and unpredictable

If people know everything about you, then they will know what your next move would be. They will easily know the trick to manipulate you. Let people know only what they need to know. Nothing more. Nothing less.

?? Be yourself

We all are unique. We are born with certain capabilities which cannot be replicated. Don't shy away from being YOU. It can be that special power to create the best PPT or saying a prayer your grandma taught you before every meal, showing the world how unique you are.

?? Keep exploring

Life can turn monotonous if we stick to the same routine for years. That can lead to boredom and loneliness. Try a new hairstyle, cook international cuisine, build craft work, visit a new place, read about Armenian history, get a tattoo... There are umpteen things to do to keep yourself occupied. The beauty of life lies in exploration. Go ahead and set your soul free to explore!

?? Don't give up on being good

Anybody can turn cold-hearted. Bravery and courage lie in wearing the armor of resilience and fighting for what’s right. Just because a few morons spoil your peace of mind doesn't mean you have to follow in their footsteps. There is a huge imbalance in the supply and demand of good people. You should be proud when you help people in need, carry out volunteer activities and be loyal to your partner. Don't turn bitter.

?? Aim high

When you don't set bigger goals, you end up limiting your potential. Once you attain your short-term goal, you might end up puzzled about what your next step should be. That leads to stagnation. Let the sky be your limit.

?? Refresh your circle of network

You don't want to associate with people who stab you behind your back. You need someone who would walk with you when your Lamborghini breaks down. You don't need to surround yourself with only intelligent people, but intent matters. Surround yourself with good souls, no matter if they are a cleaner, chef or a CEO.

?? Find inner peace

As Edith Eva Eger puts it in The Choice, people cannot take away what you feed your mind with. Don't let negativity crib your happiness. Remember, you can even be happy in poverty and shed tears in your Jacuzzi. Mindset matters the most!

?? Cherry-pick with whom you share your sad stories with

Not everyone will be happy when you are happy and sad when you are sad. It takes some time to know who really cares. Until then, avoid being vulnerable to those you don't know well.

?? Help others

But help yourself first. A leader would never hesitate to help anyone at any time. Yet, she will never lose anything by helping them. It would be a win-win for both parties.

She is never like a candle that melts and disappears while spreading light. Instead, she becomes like a sun. She is responsible for the bright world but if you try to destroy her, you are gone forever! You can never destroy her!

?? Never develop a superiority complex

Unless you are God himself.

It's easy to be too good.

It's easy to be too bad.

But, it's tough to command respect.

Thrive to be the one whose death is mourned by millions of people, not because you are popular, but because you showed them the path towards being a leader.

There are many examples, be it Princess Diana or Puneeth Rajkumar, on whose death hundreds of thousands of people showed up from everywhere across the world.

Even after they are dead, they live in the hearts of the people. That's what you call power! That's what is meant to be dangerous, in a good sense :)