Ronald, Notify This!

Have you seen the kid’s animated movie UP? Even if you have not, you may have heard the term “Squirrel!” It is a callback to the movie in which the animated dogs, in the middle of any conversation, can be easily distracted by the presence of a squirrel. It is cute and funny until it becomes too present in your life.

It is no big surprise that almost everywhere we look today we can see someone focused on their smart phone. Every day we see people texting while driving, walking, and having dinner with friends. It’s your right to do so. Everyone has that right until it severely affects those close to you.

Have you noticed that marketers are now sending us notifications? They send

some with and some without permission. The worst is when they use our friends and acquaintances to get to us. I just got this today from someone inviting me to download an app to connect to them. What? Part of the problem is that I don’t even who know this person is! Yikes. The challenge is I don’t know how they got my phone number to send a text to me. Marketers who use text notifications without my permission go on my “Un-friend, & I’ll Never Do Business with You” list. Here is a thought: if you want to have lunch with me, call me directly! You don’t need an app for that.

What can you do about it?

I have a close friend I’m going to call Ronald. Ronald was, at times, glued to his phone. Honestly, I began to feel that I did not want to spend as much time with Ron. Who wants to be around people who can’t be present with you. It is one thing for someone to get an occasional phone call. It is another to have someone’s phone constantly vibrating with messages, even if they don’t look at them! I bet those people are vibrating inside, wondering what is happening or who texted. They are still distracted without even looking at their phone. They are probably just itching for you to go to the bathroom so that they can look. Ugh! It is like being at a networking function when you are talking to someone and they are constantly looking around for someone more important to talks to.

Ronald made a significant change in his life. Noticing how some friends were interacting constantly with their phones, Ronald experienced a new awareness. He started disconnecting from his phone and reconnecting to those around him. Impressive. Very recently, I sent a Snapchat to Ronald and did not hear back for many hours. Ronald finally wrote back, “Sorry! I turned my notifications off, and I did not know. I’ll turn them back on.” I said, “No! Please do not!” Wow! I was completely impressed with the change in Ronald. One of the ways Ron changed his life was to turn off his notifications.

And here is another thought:

Dear Mr. Zuckerberg and team,

Though I use Facebook and Messenger, no matter how many times you ask “Notify Me” to turn on my Messenger notifications, I’m not going to do it. In fact you lose a bit of credibility with me every time you ask. I won’t let you take over my life as I have seen happen to others.

Thank you for the reminder to take more of my life back and for reminding me what not to do when building my business.

Darren

I realize that whenever a notification for any of my apps comes in, it is a “Squirrel!” Even if it takes only seconds, it can still take me out of being present with my work or the person I’m talking to.

If I’m in the middle of working, I now have to regroup and double-check where I left off. Then I have to re-engage from that point. How much time do I lose? Multiply that by how many notifications you get every day. That slows down your productivity. I’m finally learning to shut off my own phone when I’m writing or doing accounting.

If you have kids or aging parents and you need to know when something is up, perfect! Pick one app and have them use that one to reach you. That way when you get a notification, it means something. Someone actually does need your attention. You can justify anything you want. You can find a reason to keep all of them on if you wish. I’m just asking you to reconsider which ones you allow and which ones you turn off. Do you need to know right now who decided to follow you on twitter? Do you need notifications to go to your phone and computer? How much redundant time does that take? Pick one. Pick the one that will keep you more present with the world and the people around you.

Be more like my other close friend I’ll call Robert. When I’m working on a project with Robert, I sometimes need answers right away to continue moving forward. Many times Robert does not reply to me for a day or two. Honestly, it frustrates me, but then I sit back and think about it. Robert is a family man with young children, and he focuses on his kids. I honor and respect that, although sometimes I need the reminder of what’s most important. For Robert, it’s his kids, his wife, and his life. That is how it should be. Robert doesn’t allow squirreling. Neither should we.

Notify this! Notify the person you are with, and keep eye contact with them. That is the most important notification. Get your work done faster and with higher quality. Then take a break, and check your apps! Have fun, and be fully present with your app friends.

Especially be aware of the effect that not being present has on kids. They watch and see not what you say, but what you do. If they see that your focus is on your phone, you are unintentionally teaching them it is more important than they are. They will resent your phone and wonder why you don’t simply turn the notifications off.

As I’m writing this, I picked up my phone and turned off more notifications. I even turned off Periscope, Mail, and my beloved New England Patriot’s app. (FYI, I may turn it on again next season, but I don’t need to know immediately that Coach Belichick is doing an interview right now.)

Calling all apps, “I like you, and I love how you serve me, but I’ll let you know when I need you. Got it?” Thank you, Ronald, for showing me that a change can happen, even for someone who was glued to their phone. Thank you, Robert, for being the example of choosing to be present with your family rather than overly connected to your phone.

I get inspired by people who live their lives right. We only get one. I’m doing my best to follow their example and pass my thoughts, feelings, and insights gained on to you. I challenge you to turn off at least three app notifications right now. Will you?

If you like this article or have comments, please pass it on, and leave a post. Don’t worry. I’ll get a notification, but not until I sit down and choose to open my email.

"This article originally appeared on Darren LaCroix's blog"

About Darren LaCroix

Through his live master workshops and online programs, Darren works with presenters eager to learn what it takes to connect deeply with their audiences. He is the founder of StageTimeUniversity.com where you can become a master faster.