The Role of Malay-Muslim Fathers in the Family
The White Paper on Singapore Women’s Development that was submitted to Parliament last month outlined the various challenges that women experience – from issues relating to caregiving work to the notion of a glass ceiling at the workplace. While the paper acknowledges positive developments for women over the years, there remains several unfavourable gender norms that are entrenched in Singapore society, such as the belief that women are, by default, the caregivers of the family and men, the breadwinners[1].?In 2021, Jamiyah Singapore organised a virtual event to gather views on ways to uplift the status of mothers. They reported that several female participants faced difficulties arising from preconceived notions in Malay culture where mothers are expected to take on the caregiving responsibilities of their children and the elderly[2]. The prevalence of such unequal gender roles in the family are said to be partly attributed by men in the family who see themselves as the ones liable for taking up the family’s breadwinner responsibilities. These beliefs become root causes that inadvertently make real the stereotypes.
Across Asia and the Pacific, the International Labour Organisation reported that in 2018, women spend 4.1 times more time in unpaid care work than men[3]. Taking a closer look at our society, the 2013?Survey on Social Attitudes of Singaporeans?commissioned by the Ministry of Social and Family Development revealed that more than 50 percent of women indicated that they took on more caregiving and homemaking responsibilities compared to their male counterparts[4].
The White Paper subsequently highlighted that men must play a key role in encouraging mindset shifts in society. This can be done with them challenging gender stereotypes and being role models for others by taking on a more active role at home. At the same time, they should be championing for more equal opportunities for women at work. The wider implication, nevertheless, is that for Singapore to move to a higher plane of social progress, a whole-of- society effort is required where organisations, community partners, families and individuals play their part.
THE NEED FOR FATHERS TO BE EFFECTIVE PARENTS
According to the?Singapore Fatherhood Public Perception Survey?conducted by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) in 2010, 97 percent of Singaporeans are of the view that fathers play an important part in their children’s lives[5]. This sentiment is further affirmed by a 2013 study of juvenile delinquents by the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) and the Singapore Prison Service (SPS), which found that at the national level, about half of young offenders were from divorced, single or reconstituted families and were reported to have had poor relationships with their fathers[6].
Aside from ensuring positive outcomes in their children’s development, greater involvement of fathers in parenting work also benefit their spouses on several fronts such as improvements in the latter’s physical and mental health, increased gender socialisation, as well as enabling them to pursue their education and work goals. In the same way, women’s participation in the workforce not only adds to the family’s overall financial stability, it also affords these wives with a sense of financial freedom and security. Finally, involving men in caregiving work will also provide husbands with opportunities to relate their experiences with that of their wives and children.
In April 2022, we published the findings for our study on?Challenges to Effective Parenting Experienced by Malay-Muslim Fathers. The Institute of Policy Studies research project revealed that Singaporean Malay-Muslim dads do recognise the importance of being present and spending quality time with their children[7]. They are aware of the negative consequences should they delegate this responsibility entirely upon their wives. By their own admission, the need for “freedom of time” to devote to their family should be a priority regardless of work demands.
Interestingly, though unsurprising to the community, the findings on Malay-Muslim fathers show that Islam is regarded by participants as the main source of knowledge, which they defer to when seeking guidance on parenting practices. However, while Friday sermons consistently exhort the value of equity in gender roles in the household, some Malay-Muslim fathers still find difficulty in seeing themselves as similarly suited for childcare as their wives. Still, they have expressed their desire to take on a more equitable share of family responsibilities with their spouses and are moving towards the direction set out by the Women’s Development White Paper. This includes allowing for dual income in the family and dedicating as much of their free time to parenting their children. Although such aspirations cannot yet be said to represent the views of all fathers who participated in the study, these sentiments reveal changes in the social construct of gender ideology whereby both parents are now willing to take on a more equitable share in the upkeep of the family.
Some fathers also voiced their appreciation of their wives’ efforts in transforming them into better dads, such as correcting their beliefs regarding gender roles in their family. A respondent, for instance, explained how as a result of learnt behaviour, his notion of an effective father had been one that dictates and expects total obedience from his family. Over the years, this view was slowly ‘chipped away’ by his wife, resulting in a changed attitude and behaviour that have made him the better dad that he is today. The study revealed that wives are also part of the driving force in creating this change, as they now play an increasingly equitable role in their households while still acknowledging fathers as the primary decision maker in the family. Overall, the changing worldviews have enabled wives to take on roles that were previously the exclusive domain of fathers.
CHALLENGES TO EFFECTIVE PARENTING FACED BY MALAY-MUSLIM FATHERS IN SINGAPORE
Despite these positive developments, it appears that Singaporean Malay-Muslim fathers continue to see themselves as the?de facto?income-earner in the family. In placing their trust behind the ideology associating role and gender, a number of Malay-Muslim fathers are still reluctant to entertain the idea of sharing the responsibility of providing for the financial needs of the family with their spouses, let alone thoughts of relinquishing it altogether if a situation develops. Gender roles, to them, are clear-cut and absolute. When these fathers go out to work, they expect their stay-at-home wives to take up the role of caring for their children. Such beliefs in the exclusivity of gender-based division of labour within the family unit unfortunately take away opportunities for them to spend time with their children.
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Dr Shamsuri Juhari is Research Fellow at the Institute of Policy Studies, National University of Singapore. Jeanne Tan is Research Assistant at the same institute.