Role of Fear in Society: How Fear of Differences Can Divide Us, and How We Can Bridge the Gap

The Divisive Role of Fear in Society: Why It Keeps Us Apart and How We Can Push Through

Here’s something I’ve been thinking about lately: Fear. It’s powerful, isn’t it? Sometimes it’s subtle, just an uncomfortable feeling at the edges of a situation, and other times it’s more pronounced—keeping us from connecting with people who seem “different.” The more I reflect on it, the more I see how fear plays a role in our divided world. But here’s the thing: when we push past that fear, there’s so much potential for connection.

Let’s talk about why we’re afraid of differences and how we can start leaning into curiosity instead.

Why Are We Afraid of Differences?

Humans are wired to make quick judgments—it’s part of how we’ve survived for millennia. Spotting potential threats quickly is hardwired into us. And let’s be honest, a lot of the time, our snap judgments are actually pretty accurate.

But here’s where things get tricky. Combine that instinct with our need to belong to a social “tribe,” and suddenly, anyone outside our tribe feels a little suspicious. Add in cultural norms, stereotypes, and misinformation, and that suspicion can quickly turn into avoidance—or worse, prejudice.

I think about how often this plays out in everyday life. How often do we avoid people who seem different because we’re afraid we’ll say the wrong thing or feel awkward? And yet, by avoiding those interactions, we miss out on so much richness and connection.

I had one of those moments recently. I was traveling for work and caught an Uber from the airport. Sometimes I’m quiet in these situations—maybe scrolling on my phone or zoning out. But this time, I started chatting (if you know me you won’t be surprised). My driver was a big gruff guy.

He asked me about my trip, and I mentioned I was heading home for my son’s birthday. That got us talking about kids, responsibility, and respect. We even talked about our roots—his in Colorado, mine in Alaska. At some point, my work in DEI came up, and he looked surprised.

When we got to the airport, he turned to me and said, “Thanks, that was a good talk. We got a lot in common.”

It was such a simple moment, but it stuck with me. Here was someone that on the surface I didn’t seem to have anything in common, but instead, we had a meaningful conversation. It reminded me of something I keep coming back to: Choosing curiosity and empathy over fear is a radical act of connection that bridges divides and builds understanding.

Manufactured Fear: The Real Problem

Let’s take it a step further. While some of our fears are instinctual, others are manufactured. This kind of fear comes from stereotypes, misinformation, or narratives that make certain groups of people seem like threats. And when people in power exploit these fears, it becomes a major problem.

A study by Richins, Barreto, and colleagues (2019) found that when people experience fear—often triggered by exaggerated or distant threats—they become less empathetic toward those they see as “different.” Fear can strip away our ability to see others as individuals with valid feelings and needs. This scares me. This means we aren't seeing others as people.

This kind of fear doesn’t just divide us—it keeps us from thinking critically and engaging with others in meaningful ways.

So, What Can We Do About It?

I like to try to find something positive.? I don’t want to be a cynic of a pessimist. Let’s not stay stuck in our fear.

1. Pause and Reflect: When you feel fear or even hate, take a moment to ask yourself what’s triggering it. Is it based on a real experience, or is it coming from something you’ve heard or seen?

3. Engage with Empathy: One small step outside your comfort zone can lead to a meaningful connection. It doesn’t have to be a big deal—a quick conversation, like mine with the Uber driver, can be enough to start breaking down barriers.

4. Stay Curious: Instead of retreating into what feels safe, lean into what feels different. Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools we have for building bridges.

Let’s Move Past Fear

The truth is, fear of differences is natural. But it doesn’t have to control us. When we take the time to connect with people who seem different, we often realize how much we have in common. And when we choose curiosity and empathy, we create the conditions for real connection and understanding.

So here’s my question for you: How has fear of differences shaped your interactions? What steps can we take—together—to bridge these divides? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Let’s keep this conversation going.

#Empathy #Curiosity #BridgingDivides #DEI

Sources (Cuz I love research and you might too)

Richins, M.T., Barreto, M., Karl A., & Lawrence, N. (2019). Incidental fear reduces empathy for an out-group’s pain. Emotion. DOI: 10.1037/emo0000714

De Becker, G. (1998). The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence. New York: Dell Publishing.

Robbins, T. J., & DiDomenica, P.J. (2013). Journey from Genesis to Genocide: Hate, Empathy and the Plight of Humanity. Pittsburgh: Dorrance.