The Role of the Family in Nation-building

We live in a broken world, and ideals are rarely realized. We are each marred by iniquity and transgression. Bible calls it “Fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). This affects our marriages, our families, and so much more. So, what we see most often in society are imperfect families—struggling families—who are striving to respond in a righteous manner to the brokenness around them.

The family is the most important single factor in the moulding of a human being. It either prepares him to reach for his ultimate destiny and fulfilment, or it cripples and inhibits him from attaining his original potential. When a society disregards its families, it suffers irreparable loss. General education has been taken over by the schools, and the family has less and less input into the process.

There is an increased tendency to look to the religious institution, government and other educational institutions to provide services, which have been traditionally provided by the family. All this has tended to blind us to the real importance of the family in our world. While school, religion, and government may be allies of the family, they can never be substitutes for it.

The family is a divine institution and the bedrock of our society. It is the very foundation on which society is built. If the family fails then all the other institutions of society will fail. Every influence, which weakens the family and makes it more difficult for it to do its job, will ultimately weaken society. All that is done to build strong, healthy, happy, and effective families will increase the possibility of a strong and healthy society.

?Any effort to deal with the problems we face without dealing with their roots within the family is short-sighted. Compared to the length of man’s history, the interest of social scientists in the study of the family has been rather recent. But long before we developed those skills, which allow us to understand better the inner workings of the family, the Bible Pictured the family as of primary importance. It was not by accident that the Book of Beginnings (Genesis) starts with the first family and lays the foundation for the Purpose, values and Principles of family.

The Biblical ideal of a family is one man and one woman united by marriage to become “one flesh” for a lifetime (Genesis 2:24) and to produce children whom they raise to adulthood. Ideally, then, a family would be a believing man and woman united by marriage and raising children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). And a “good” family would be one that possesses all the qualities necessary to be “healthy family.”

When God came to reveal Himself to us most perfectly in his own Son. He came as a little boy into a family. And even a casual reading of Christ’s teachings and ministry will reveal how aware He was of the family and how interested he was in it. When He attempted to describe in the parable from how God feels about us, he told the story of the “prodigal son”. We can also think of it as the parable of the “Loving father”.

A family is first and foremost a place of protection. The Family is a Place of Safety and Security. It’s a place where individuals feel secure because it is expected that love and care should be given by family members. That forms the values that shape the boundary for conduct and behaviour.

One of the most beautiful pictures of the family is as a shelter from the storms of life. A child needs to feel the hands and arms of those who love him and hear the soothing words of those who care. The little child learns early that the family is a kind of sanctuary to which he can flee when storm clouds loom. Adults do have difficult times and need support. When there is an illness, or setbacks, or disappointments, whether we are young or old we have a place and people where we can feel loved, accepted and secure. In fact, family fulfilment leads to life fulfilment. But without family fulfilment, nothing else in life really matters.

The family is a balanced environment designed by God for the growth of human beings. A proper blending of the roles of father and mother is required. There needs to be a balance between dependence and independence. Freedom and responsibility need to live in a healthy tension. A family takes energy, interest, commitment, love, and a lot of hard work. But it is more than worth it all because people made in the image of God need just the right kind of environment in which to develop to their full potential.

Our family teaches us how to function in the world. It should provide love and warmth to all of its members. A strong family gives its members the support they need to make it through life’s toughest spots. Strong families have open lines of communication -- where all family members feel heard and respected. One of the best ways to strengthen your family is to increase your listening skills and those of other family members. Until we can hear each other, we cannot build strong relationships. All relationships need affection and attention -- and this includes the family as a whole.

The Family also is a Centre for Creativity. This is where self-trust, which is at the heart of all creativity, is first nurtured. The family provides fertile soil in which individual gifts and interests are encouraged to develop and mature. A family is a unit, which transmits values from generation to generation. A child’s family is easily the most important single influence in his life. The home moulds character and personality. One of the most important truths we can pass on to our children is the fact that people are more important than things. The best place for learning how to treat people is in the home, where there is an opportunity to act our love in the situations of life day by day. Family is where respect for life, others and self is either born or destroyed.

Bible says “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Pro. 22: 6). Although peer group, school, college, religious institution and neighbourhood are important factors that shape a child at various stages of life, none of them is more influential than the home. The home serves the core of character building. Moral values and character are not ‘taught’, they are ‘caught’ in the home. There are no perfect families, nor are there any families without problems.

In fact, “Marriage is two imperfect people committing themselves to a perfect institution, by making perfect vows from imperfect lips before a perfect God.” Every family will have their differences; there will be difficulties, disagreements, trials and troubles. Strong families like all other families have their share of problems also. They experience setbacks, have their share of disappointments?get laid off and can’t find a new job. They struggle to make ends meet. However, despite all of this what sets them apart is that they don’t give up on each other when circumstances become strained or unpleasant, or when the other party disappoints them or lets them down. They are dedicated to each other and are committed to each other—through good times and bad. Rather than let hard times destroy them or their relationships, strong families work together to correct problems.

Problems are to be recognized and dealt with if the family is to survive and live up to its potential. They understand that by following the principles of the Word of God Bible says “He is like a (Wise)man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built.”- (Luke 6:48) In spite of all the problems we face, if all goes well in the family, then life is worth living. Strong families build strong communities which in turn?can build a strong nation.?It is in the family that our young people first learn moral and spiritual values which give meaning to their lives. Family values and national development go hand in hand, and as the primary agent of socialisation, the family is duty-bound to imbibe norms and values imperative to the development of the nation. This speaks to the foundational ethics, philosophy and ethos of a people.

Every individual comes from the family which is the core fabric of society. Society begins to grow from the family. People with good family upbringing are good assets to society because they will exhibit high morals in all facets of activities and endeavours. Therefore, a healthy “family” is the key to both a healthy society and a healthy nation. In other words, the measure of a healthy “Nation” is a healthy family. Therefore, a Happy and healthy home is one of the best places on earth, while an unhappy and unhealthy home is one of the most miserable places. The reason for this is that there is no institution on earth greater than a family. It’s only the family that has all the institutional conditions necessary for the upbringing of a good human tamed and carved to learn and adapt. Moreover, the family has the foundation for one’s needs and wishes and prepares our minds for a good society.

Society is a reflection of family values and such values can make or break the nation. A broken society is, therefore, a reflection of broken families within that society. Today, many youths are growing up without any moral guidance, mentors or role models; without knowing, a stable, loving, secure family life. The very nature of the family is to build people, to train them to learn values, help them to learn virtues so they know how to live their lives… Modern Parents are too busy trying to put food on the table and abdicating their responsibilities to house help and other domestic staff. The culture of bonding is getting very relaxed and, in some cases, non-existent because of modernity-related issues. Many youths, adults and adolescents are embracing anti-social behaviour which is causing a drastic change in the quality of relationships in family circles. Family life is under constant attack today from various social ills. There are many families in the modern world that are hurting and need healing.

Therefore, one of the most widely spread needs in the world is divine wisdom on how to navigate family through all its different stages. It's this lack of knowledge that has caused pain and heartache in so many families. The truth is, God has laid out principles in His Word that we are to live by in order to have the kind of family He designed and intends for us.?Family is at the centre of God’s plan for the happiness and progress of His children. The Holy Bible teaches that God established families from the very beginning, and it shows us many examples of strong families. It also teaches us how to have a loving, happy family. The very first people on earth formed a family. From the beginning, God blessed and encouraged families, commanding Adam and Eve to “be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). One of the Ten Commandments given to Moses in the Old Testament speaks directly about the relationship between parents and children: “Honour?thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12).?

Jesus Christ taught that marriage is holy and essential to God’s plan: “From the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh:?so,?then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:6–9).

When?God?thought of creating families he intended and designed the family to be the basic building block of society. What this means is that for our communities to be stable, the families that comprise them must be as well. Could the fact that we have many dysfunctional families in society be the root of society's morality decaying? I think so.?It is God's desire that families produce godly offspring that will make His family (Malachi 2:15) and expand?His?family. The best way to strengthen your family is by studying successful families and what traits they share. When you understand what a well-functioning family unit looks like, you will be able to follow in their footsteps and produce a healthy home for your household.

A strong family can be a source of emotional support, love, security and protection, which makes the challenges and trials of day-to-day?living?easier to face. Studies have shown that children raised in healthy homes are able to live happy and productive lives. Not only that but children flourish when they feel loved, nurtured and supported by their parents and siblings. A good family life can even have positive effects on your physical and mental health, including improving blood pressure and increasing life expectancy.

Let me conclude with Seven qualities that have been identified as indicators of a strong family:

1. Strong families express gratitude to God always and give attention, appreciation and affection to others.?They speak in positive and affirming ways and express the love they have for God and each other.

2. Strong families have a strong commitment to God and each other.?They are deeply committed to promoting each other’s happiness and welfare and show their commitment by investing time and energy in family activities.

3. Strong families spend an enjoyable time in communion with God and one another.?They enjoy being together and know that if they don’t prioritize and schedule time together, it won’t happen.

4. Strong families trust God, and one another and manage stress and crisis effectively.?They are not immune or exempt from difficult days and challenging situations, but they develop plans so they can pull together, rather than fall apart.

5. Strong families have a sense of spiritual focus and the well-being of others. Whatever the expression of their spiritual lifestyle, there are consistent themes of guiding values and ethics, as well as a commitment to God’s Word.

6. Strong families have effective and positive communication procedures.?They talk to God and each other and listen to each other and may have specific ground rules on how they communicate in respectful, graceful and loving ways.

7. Finally keep in mind that we will never obtain God’s kind of family simply by going along with the crowd, doing what everybody else does. We have to dig deep into the principles of God’s Word to discover His Purpose.