Rock-Paper-Scissors

We were playing a game last evening as a family.  My kids were on one team and my wife and I were on another team.  It was interesting to observe my children in their interactions.  They were faced with various times throughout the evening where they disagreed on the answers to the questions.  How did they solve these conflicts?  After a very brief discussion, the answer involved another game - rock-paper-scissors, which is familiar to many of us.  We had many laughs over the outcome of these matches.  Why was this observation, so critical? 

The zero-sum game of rock-paper-scissors involves typically 2 players (my children  played it with 2 or 3 players depending on the conflict).  Each player makes a gesture at an appointed time with their hands to symbolize either a rock (fist), paper (flat hand), or scissors (a V formed by the index and middle fingers).  To determine the outcome, a rock crushes the scissors, while the paper covers the rock, and the scissors cuts the paper.  A very randomized exercise with a defined winner and loser.

The initial lesson that I learned was that there are many conflicts that we have in which it doesn't really matter who is right or who is wrong, as we just need to make a decision and move forward.  Such conflicts may involve what we eat for breakfast or what we wear.  Yes, we may have preferences one way or another, although the important thing is that we eat and are clothed.

Secondly, it is important to have a process in place to solve conflicts.  This process should involve an avenue for brief discussion to occur that includes an evaluation of alternatives and a method to move forward.  Managers and peers should work to create an environment that allows for healthy conflict in organizations with the goal to make a decision and move forward.

Finally, we may lose and win various battles in our interactions.  The most critical thing is that we move forward with joy in our journey.

Even though the outcome of the rock-paper-scissors game did not always produce the correct answers for my children last evening, they ended up winning the overall game against us.  The simple process of selecting a rock, paper, or scissors helped them to maintain their relationships and move forward.  How can we apply this game to the conflicts we face in our teams?