Rock the Baby

Do you find yourself saying, “but I don’t have time to regularly pray/workout/journal/reflect/ etc? I thought the same thing in the 7 years since our last baby, but here I am with all this time every day to rock our baby to sleep.  In fact, for the last 340 days, I’ve found 30 minutes every single night to rock her to sleep. How is it possible that I didn’t use that same window of time to regularly pause to pray, journal, sit quietly, spend quality time with my wife and kids etc for nearly 7 years?  After all, these are the things that I’ve often lamented that I don’t have time to regularly do. More importantly, how will I keep this time sacred when my sweet baby girl doesn’t need to be rocked to sleep anymore?

The same logic can be applied to our schedules at work as well. Do you ever feel like you missed an important employee development conversation because you are in too many meetings?  Maybe you haven’t been able to set aside enough time to develop a clear strategy because you are mired in too many day-to-day tasks. How many leaders have you met that don’t ever seem to have open time in their schedules?  Have you ever felt like you are just jumping from task to task, unable to get ahead? Even worse, how many leaders have you met that have given control of their schedule to someone else? Have you ever tried to book a meeting with someone, only to learn they aren't free until next quarter? Sounds awful... 

There are plenty of things we can we change at home and work to get a better grip on our schedules and regain some margin to connect with the people that matter most to us.

At home:  

• Take inventory of your relationships at home:  The experience of rocking our baby provides an incredible opportunity for me to connect with her every night- Just me and her. This one-on-one time helped me to realize that I don’t always get that same type of uninterrupted time with our two older kids. So, I began a practice of going on a 2-3 mile walk with each of them, one on one.  It's been incredible. They bring me to laughter or tears on every walk. My wife and I go out on a date every other week, and we go on a vacation with just the two of us every year. These practices have helped to ensure our kids don’t become our entire life story.  
• Evaluate how you “unwind”:  I used to watch a Netflix show every night and I was convinced I needed to watch something mindless to wind-down.  Recently, I have found that listening to an audio-book, reading and prayer is actually much more life-giving and better at preparing me for truly restful sleep. I still watch streaming shows, but it's not every single night now.

At Work:

• Take your schedule back:  Don't let your admin. assistant snuff out any bit of margin in your work life.  Its certainly is possible to have an assistant that helps with scheduling, but don’t give them complete control.  Set boundaries of time that can’t be booked by anyone but you. If peers can see your calendar, make sure to block time you don't’ want to be filled. Make sure to schedule transitions between meetings. Practice pausing and documenting the key learnings from each one. 
• Setting matters- In my most recent job, I had the responsibility of leading the merger of two companies.  For the first several months as soon as I walked in the door I was bombarded with operational issues that needed solving.  Soon, I realized that I wasn’t going to get any reports written or emails responded to while in the office. For the first couple of months, I had a ton of work to do in the evenings because of this dynamic.  Then I switched things up and started the 1st hour of my day in a coffee shop just two blocks from the office. It made a world of a difference! Suddenly, I got my evenings at home back.

The examples above are meant to illustrate some practical changes that can be made to regain meaningful time to connect with the people most important in your life.  If we want to stop feeling perpetually busy we need to make some intentional and significant changes in our lives. How many times have you heard someone tell you how busy they are, that they would love to do (fill in the blank), but they just don’t have the time?  Feeling busy is always a relative feeling. I’ve met retired people with very little responsibilities in their lives talk about how busy they are. I’ve also met serial entrepreneurs involved in multiple enterprises at once that find a way to pause and be present to the person right in front of them. 

This last year of rocking our sweet baby to sleep every night has taught me an important lesson:  The time was always there. I thought I was too busy, but I wasn’t. I’ve had such an incredible connection with our baby daughter during these 30 minutes every night.   I’ve sung to her. I’ve prayed for her. I’ve talked to her. I’ve laughed with her. After she falls asleep, I’ve snuck 10-15 more minutes of prayer while in the still, peaceful dark of her room.  I’m eternally grateful that my disposition has changed to see that time as a blessing and not another task that is making my life even busier.  

What are you telling yourself you don’t have time for in this season of your life?

JULY 28, 2019