Robust Vulnerability: The Practice

Last week, I shared the story of my client who needed to go to the next level of leadership by demonstrating his willingness to be vulnerable.

Let’s examine what this might look like in practice by examining three elements of vulnerability:

1.???? Recognizing your humanity

2.???? Taking risk

3.???? Coming to ground

First, what does it mean to recognize your own humanity as a leader and step into the vulnerability of that?

For years, I’ve shared with thousands of leaders across the globe the simple concept of Presume Good Intent. I talk about this quite a bit in my book, The Influencing Option, when I discuss how to adopt a leadership mindset that supports high levels of trust, performance, and morale in the workplace.

This sounds like common sense, and most of the time, people think it’s a good idea—to try to think the best of someone, to give them the benefit of the doubt. All that’s fun and easy when it’s someone you trust or like, not so much when it’s a difficult colleague or someone with whom you don’t have much trust or a challenging history.

But presuming good intent offers something even more essential than thinking the potential best of someone else. It affects how you show up to a conversation or interaction. If you arrive open to the possibility of a different outcome than you imagined, especially if you’re feeling negative, stuck, or anxious about the outcome, or if you are even open at all, you actually are practicing a form of vulnerability.?

Doubt and cynicism are just versions of fear, and especially fear of being disappointed. As a leader, I should be willing to remember that whatever conversation I’m having, whatever challenge I’m facing, it is with another person, another human being.

Second, practicing vulnerability as a leader involves taking risks.

Most good leaders are already good risk takers as they stand with one foot in the present and one foot poised toward the horizon, but mostly, they take risks with their organizations—with ideas about business development, or strategy, or decision-making.

They don’t often think about personal vulnerability as a risk—to demonstrate humility, to practice transparency, to take ownership of mistakes and admit when they might not know something.

It’s also risky to ask for and to receive help, but it’s so necessary and essential to be open to this possibility. This sort of risk involves balancing the analytical mind with the intuitive gut, and it takes practice to give those complementary elements of our leadership the right balance in conversation. Taking risks also helps you to develop a deeper sense of trust with yourself—and creates a foundation for continuing development of self-confidence and self-esteem. We grow and learn in the context of our risk taking and mistake-making.

Finally, “coming to ground” is when we examine and practice what happens after a leader has indeed engaged in robust vulnerability.

Once we’ve stepped out onto the unsure terrain of vulnerability (because it inherently involves risk and a sense of the unknown), there is a particular kind of honesty we can inhabit—we’ve all experienced this in our lives.

We’ve dealt with something challenging, traumatic or chaotic, we made our way through, and now we come to terms with it—we can stand courageously upon which we’ve arrived.

We can ask, where do we go from here? And we can use this new ground, this new country we inhabit, as a starting place—for creativity, for innovation, for growth, all essential elements in organizational success, no matter our industry or focus.

Without vulnerability, without the stepping into the unknown, we stick close to the shore, safe, but untested.

If you want to practice consider these questions, and share them with your team:

1. Where do I need to practice "presuming good intent?" Remember that this isn't about being na?ve or pretending, but rather to hold the notion that something better can emerge, and showing up like that.
2. Where might I practice deeper humility, make an amends, or be more transparent? Risk taking isn't just about rolling the dice with your business decisions, it's taking risks with your self.
3. Where is an opportunity to "come to ground" by being deeply honest with myself and others? This is the differentiator, and fewer than 10% of leaders will be willing. Be willing to examine closely any "truths" you've held to see where there might be an opportunity for growth.