A Roadmap for Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

In my work with high performers, and my own lived experience, one thing is always certain: We ALL have limiting beliefs. (*internal screaming!*)

What is a limiting belief, and how is it affecting us?

A limiting belief is a deeply engrained belief that is limiting us in some way. Sounds pretty straight forward, right? Unfortunately, they can have a bit of a ripple affect in our life- we form a belief subconsciously and then we either stay small because of our belief, bypassing opportunities for growth, or we receive confirmation that our belief is true, further ingraining the belief in our psyche that continues to limit us.

First let's see some examples of beliefs I've seen come up for people:

• I'm not good enough

• I don't have enough BLANK.... (time, money, resources, support, etc)

• If I had a different BLANK (boss, career, situation)... I would be less stressed

• I don't deserve this
• Being successful is HARD

Are some of these limiting beliefs true SOMETIMES? Absolutely. Sometimes we really don't have enough support and we need to make changes. Or, sometimes we would be happier if we took a different role, and no amount of mindset work would change that.

BUT- here's the kicker:

If it KEEPS coming up for you... it's likely something that's rooted in past learning. Often, this is painful past learning.

Example: Your dad used to come home from work late 6 days a week. He would always complain about how hard his work is, how underpaid he is, and how you must sacrifice so much for your career. As a child, you saw how he missed your important milestones and your sports games, and you begin to internalize a belief like this:

Being successful is HARD. It takes so much work. You'll have to give up everything if you truly want to be successful. Making money is so difficult!

At 7 years old, this looks true because of your dad's experience. But then fast forward to you at 36 and things could look a heck of a lot different.

At 36, you might find yourself missing your kid's important milestones too, because you're glued to your phone or laptop trying to get more done. You might fail in your work/life balance and not really know how you could change it. Or you might be passed up for that promotion and think to yourself: OF COURSE. Because being successful is really hard. Maybe I'm just not cut out for this.

If you think you have some similar beliefs that are driving your behaviors or sabotaging good things in your life- let's take a look at how we can change them. (HINT: It's NOT actually mindset work)

Your Roadmap:

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness: This starts IN our body- not necessarily our mind. You can start doing this by a quick body scan- from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. What do you feel? Do you have tension? Does something feel uncomfortable or do you have pain? Get in your physical body and look for signals your body is communicating to you.
2. Soften and Relax: The same way you've done a body scan to determine how you feel and any areas of discomfort- you can use a body scan to intentionally relax the muscles in your body. Focus on becoming loose and relaxed, back in a comfortable, flexible body. In my line of work, we refer to this as becoming a WET NOODLE! This is based off of reciprocal inhibition, and effectively turns off your threat response aka: fight or flight.
3. Validate Your Feelings: You've been through some painful experiences! We all have a past, and we've all learned from it! (Shout out to Rafiki from The Lion King !) It's NORMAL to internalize beliefs based on our experiences- we are all trying to make sense of this world. Have compassion for yourself and any feelings that come up.
4. Reflect on Past Learning: Are there any experiences you can pinpoint that have led you to believe this limiting belief? When might this belief have originated? What made it true for you at the time? And with everything you know now, do you still believe this limiting belief to be true?
5. Intentional Action: You have resources, resilience, and a whole lot of lived experience- so how can you change your actions to serve you better? Instead of doing what you normally do, let's change the dynamic! What can you do that would make you proud of yourself? What is your ideal outcome in this situation? What would you do if you knew you wouldn't fail?

Our nervous system's job is to keep us safe- so NOTHING is inherently wrong with us if we have a belief that is holding us back.

But it IS time for us to move past it and begin to make the changes that serve us better so we can grow!

I hope you found this helpful. Please share this article and spread the word on how we can take action to improve our lives!

We are all meant to FLOURISH.

Until next time, friends!

Did you enjoy this article? Check out our podcast episode about Limiting Beliefs. Find your listening platform and tune in to Episode 19 of The Flourish Podcast HERE.

Michelle Holmes is a Performance Consultant who supports teams and individuals to increase their performance, resilience, and creativity so that the individual AND the organization can FLOURISH.?She provides workplace wellness workshops + corporate consulting, speaking engagements, and personal coaching. Send business inquiries to [email protected] or message her on LinkedIn.