Roadblocks to Success

Many of us struggle with goals, dreams, and desires that are long in coming. In this article, let’s take a look at a likely source for those roadblocks and consider a strategy to help you create a breakthrough to make your dreams a reality.

Some years ago, I hired a painting contractor. The young man who came to do the work was fantastic. He was charming and enthusiastic. He showed up early every day, and his work was beyond exemplary. He told us that he wouldn’t be in this job much longer because he had big plans to open his own painting company. I didn’t doubt him one bit. A few years later, when it came time to have the house repainted, I hired the same company as before, and guess who showed up to do the work? It was the same young man who had been so full of big plans to start his own business. Only now, he was no longer a bright light. Instead, he was grouchy and angry and blamed everyone, from his boss to the economy to the government, for his fate.

What happened? What had prevented this dynamo from following through on his dream? It wasn’t skill or competence. He knew his way around a paintbrush and had done an excellent job. It was not opportunity or timing. There was far more work than the existing businesses could handle. It wasn’t in relationships or networking. He knew all the same people his boss did and, due to proximity, had closer relationships with them. He was bright, and he was highly motivated. All the qualifications for success were in place, so what kept him from taking action?

When a desire exists, and nothing stands in its way, it must come to fulfillment. When all visible qualifications for a successful outcome are met, but there is still no progress, there must be some other roadblock in the way. Primarily, this barrier is in our subconscious thinking in the form of self-sabotaging beliefs that keep us from taking action. We are our own worst enemies without knowing how or why.

We are pretty complex beings. The reasons we develop the limiting beliefs that keep us from taking action on our dreams are myriad. For example, in high school, I watched a teenager who had won a competition be called to the podium to say a few words. The poor guy nearly died of embarrassment. He just stood there mute, his face turning redder by the minute. I felt so badly for him, and something in me must have decided right then that it was unsafe to be in the spotlight. Many years later, this belief really hampered my burgeoning career as a speaker. I don’t know what stories the young painter told himself that ultimately kept him from realizing his dreams. Sometimes, it can be a seemingly innocuous statement from the parents that throws a wrench in the works. Things like, “Don’t stick your head out too far; it might get cut off!” Later, we can’t figure out why we are so reluctant to take charge and assume a leadership role. Sometimes, it can be a throwaway statement like, “Hold on to your pennies! Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know!” Later, we're stumped because we can't bring ourselves to take the necessary financial risk to start the company. Barbra Streisand, in her memoir My Name is Barbra, tells the story of how she almost didn’t audition for what became her break-out role because her mother’s favorite saying was, “Don’t count on anything good because God will come and snatch it away!”

The problem with subconscious beliefs is that they are SUB-conscious. You’re unaware that these old messages are rattling around your brain and sabotaging your dreams. You don’t know that you’re harboring such limiting thoughts at all; you only know that your goals are not materializing. And if it goes on too long, you develop even more limiting beliefs that your dreams are either not achievable or, worse yet, that they are not achievable by you. Talk therapy may be able to help. A skilled therapist can potentially mirror your issues for you until the false beliefs rise to the surface and become self-evident for you. However, realizing them does not necessarily mean that you can overcome them. It’s tough to change existing beliefs.

The problem with beliefs is that they are not merely thought energy. A belief is a physical manifestation in the brain. When you think a thought often enough, the nerve fibers that are involved will physically begin to reach out to one another to form bridges called synaptic connections. Once these nerve bridges are in place, the thought becomes automatic, habitual, and unconscious. Short of a lobotomy, it’s impossible to stop that from happening. You can’t change an established belief, no matter how much you may want to. However, that does not mean you are entirely powerless against it because you do have the capacity to think new and different thoughts.

The Most Powerful Question In The World

Einstein recognized that you can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created the problem. But how do you go about changing your entire thinking? It’s probably not just one or two limiting beliefs sabotaging your entire life's hopes and dreams. Most likely, there is an entire network of interlocking core beliefs at work. Have you ever noticed how often our thinking tends to go straight to the worst-case scenario? You have a headache, and you secretly wonder whether it’s a brain tumor. Your boss calls you on your cell, and you’re stomach tightens because you’re wondering if you’re getting fired. Someone in your family calls you unexpectedly, and you think someone died. It’s normal; everybody does it from time to time, but it does indicate how we are steeped in a whole system of fears. To root out systemic flaws in thinking, an equally holistic change in thinking would have to take place.

A powerful strategy exists that can, over time, change your outlook universally. You can always tell when you are thinking fearful, self-negating, or self-sabotaging thoughts because they make you feel gloomy or anxious. It can be big thoughts about your overarching life goals and desires or merely passing thoughts about your immediate state of affairs. First, ask yourself if the thought you were thinking is the outcome you actually want. Do I really want a brain tumor? Do you hope that someone died? Do you want your business to fail? Of course, the answer is no. Then, ask yourself the most powerful question in the world. “What do I want instead?” Take a split-second moment right then and there and think it through– “Instead of a brain tumor, what I want is a calm, strong, healthy, and powerful brain,” “I want every person in my family to be strong, healthy, and happy.” “I want customers to flock to my company from day one.”

Do this any time any thought makes you feel bad. It only takes a second, and it's easy and fun to do. It's highly motivating because you’ll get a tiny jolt of joy when you think of the things you want instead. It can’t help you wipe out every automatic, adverse feeling because many of them result from the survival instinct. However, it will take the power out of the unconscious, self-sabotaging thoughts that keep you from fulfilling your dreams. Gradually, as you build new synaptic connections for your conscious desires, your thinking will shift toward the solution-based level of thinking Einstein talked about

Soon, you’ll have cleared away those roadblocks, and you'll be on your way toward living your life full out!

Kind regards, Marni