Rituals

Breaking Free from Autopilot: Rituals, Routines, and Rediscovering Spontaneity

Have you ever driven home and realized you can’t recall a single detail of the journey? Or found yourself halfway through your morning coffee, only to notice you’ve been scrolling on your phone without tasting a sip? Of course you have—you’re human. Autopilot runs the show more often than we realize, letting routines take over while our conscious mind drifts. As I’ve said time and again in this newsletter, that’s our default state.

From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes perfect sense. Energy is a precious resource, and autopilot lets us conserve it for moments that truly require our focus. But from a human experience perspective? It’s a double-edged sword. Without awareness, autopilot can suck the life out of what’s happening in the only time we ever have—right now.

Rituals are like autopilot’s more intentional cousin. Someone recently told me they were convinced their football team’s playoff run hinged on them wearing their favorite player’s jersey. And it struck me how deeply rituals—both the formal and informal ones—structure our lives. They can ground us, offering stability and meaning, or they can trap us, locking us into routines that blind us to the present moment.

So how do we tell the difference? And more importantly, how do we make sure our rituals serve us instead of the other way around? Let’s dig in.

The Fine Line Between Ritual and Rut

Rituals, at their best, are intentional acts that infuse meaning into our routines. They create a rhythm, a sense of grounding amidst the chaos of life. Think about the rituals you cherish: a morning cup of coffee enjoyed quietly before the world wakes up, lighting candles to mark the start of a family dinner, or a Sunday hike to reset for the week ahead. These moments can feel sacred—anchors that connect us to what matters.

But the danger is when these rituals slip into mindlessness. When they’re no longer intentional acts but just another cog in the machine of our day-to-day. That morning cup of coffee can just as easily become background noise as you scroll through emails. The Sunday hike might feel more like checking a box than connecting with nature.

And then there are the unconscious rituals—the ones we don’t even realize we’ve built. Maybe you always reach for your phone the moment you wake up. Or turn to comfort food when the workday has been a little too much. These unexamined rituals have a sneaky way of trapping us, keeping us in cycles we didn’t actively choose.

So how do we break free from autopilot and reclaim the power of ritual?

Breaking the Loop

The first step is to notice. Noticing sounds simple, but it’s anything but passive. It’s the foundation of practices like mindfulness because truly paying attention to what’s happening now is an active, ongoing effort. Can you really stay present, even for a moment? It's not easy.

If you can pay attention, you can start to see what rituals are adding meaning to your life and which are just filling time. And with awareness, you have the opportunity to choose something different. Breaking out of autopilot doesn’t have to be dramatic—it can be as simple as doing one thing differently. Drink your coffee in silence instead of scrolling on your phone. Take a different route on your drive home. Or, if you’re feeling bold, say yes to something completely out of character—like a last-minute vacation.

I’ll confess I’m not usually the spontaneous type. I like plans. I like knowing what’s coming. But recently, after working straight through the holidays, I decided to book a spur-of-the-moment trip to get away for a few days. It was kind of liberating—no planned-ahead dinners, no structured day trips, no rigid itinerary. Just go. The unfamiliar has a way of waking us up, forcing us to see the world—and ourselves—with fresh eyes.

Building Meaningful Rituals

Unlike habits, which often run on autopilot, rituals are acts we perform with intention and awareness. They add depth to routine moments, transforming the mundane into something meaningful.

A ritual doesn’t have to be elaborate to be meaningful. Maybe it’s a five-minute journaling practice before bed, a weekly phone call with a loved one, or even a simple pause to breathe before diving into your to-do list. The key is to do it with presence and purpose.

Jon Kabat-Zinn wisely reminds us,

“The little things? The little moments? They aren’t little.”

It’s a reminder that even the smallest rituals, done with presence, can hold profound meaning.

Wrapping Up

This week, I invite you to try one small experiment to wake yourself up: Take a different route to work. Eat a meal without distractions. Or pause to truly savor a cup of coffee. See what shifts—and what you notice. Because life isn’t meant to be lived on autopilot. It’s meant to be tasted, savored, and felt. And sometimes, all it takes is one small shift to wake up to the present moment.

-Scott