Risk and Uncertainty

Have you ever done something new for the first time and were absolutely certain that you knew exactly how to do it and knew that you could not possibly fail?

No? Me neither.

Every new thing we attempt requires risk and uncertainty. We can do our best to train and prepare for the new task but we’re never certain that we’ll be able to complete it successfully until we actually do it for the first time. When we attempt new things, we’re uncertain we’ll succeed and we’re risking failure.

And no one wants to fail.

Author and researcher, Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. I hate to feel uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. And I also hate to feel vulnerable. I don’t even like the word vulnerability. I know it as a feeling of weakness. And potential failure.

But as I read more of Brene Brown’s research on vulnerability, I’m beginning to understand that vulnerability is also the feeling that precedes moments of greatness in my life too.

I remember when I sat for the CPA exam. (Way back when you sat for all four parts over two days. And there was only two times per year that you could sit for the CPA exam.) I had studied hard over a long period of time and prepared myself as well as I could but I was still uncertain as to whether I would pass the exam. There was the risk that I would fail some or all parts of the exam. And it would be fairly public knowledge because everyone knew who was taking the CPA exam at that given time. Everyone also knew when the results would arrive in the mail and would ask how you did on the exam. So there was some emotional exposure there too.

In short, I was feeling vulnerable.

But here’s the thing. There is no way that I would ever feel 100% confident that I would pass the CPA exam before I ever took the exam. So that means there was no way for me to pass the CPA exam without going through the vulnerable feelings. The uncertainty as to whether I would pass the exam. The risk of public embarrassment if I failed the exam. And the emotional exposure of the waiting to find out the results.

This led me to understand that courage is not a lack of vulnerability. That would be too easy. Courage is taking the next step in spite of feeling vulnerable. That’s what makes courage so impressive. When you hear that another person did something courageous, you’re impressed because you can imagine the feelings of fear and uncertainty that you would feel before you did that courageous thing. And you think those feelings would stop you from doing it. But this person actually fought through those feelings and accomplished this impressive feat.

Given this information, what if I’m looking at vulnerability in the wrong way? What if that feeling of vulnerability is actually a feeling that lets me know I’m about to do something great? Something courageous? Something impressive?

What if a lack of vulnerable feelings in my life means I’m not putting myself out there? What if a lack of uncertain feelings means that I’m not stretching my skills and abilities to learn new things? What if it means I’m not being courageous in my life?

What have you done lately that made you feel vulnerable? That’s your courage showing.