The risk of not asking for more

Studies (and just basic human interactions) have shown that advocating for oneself can be... well, uncomfortable. This includes asking for what you want, and also being willing to share your expertise with others.

To many people, it can feel extremely risky to put themselves out there for fear of being rejected, or worse, of being judged.

I'm here to make the argument that the greatest risk is NOT in failing, but in not even attempting it in the first place.

Let's demonstrate with three scenarios.

Scenario 1:

You have just wrapped an extensive design workshop as you led your team to re-imagine how they work. Through your Design Thinking exercises, they were able to create new concepts that would address critical pain points experienced when managing their work and delighting their clients.

When catching up with a colleague, he tells you he'd really like to learn more as he thinks the same exercises would be helpful for his team.

This kind of situation happens daily. You accomplish something and someone else would greatly benefit from it. But what do you do?

A few suggestions:

Small Impact: Offer to present an overview of what you and your team were able to accomplish at their next staff meeting

Medium Impact: Record a demo of the exercises you did and the results that came from it and share with colleagues, who may be interested

BIG Impact: Start a newsletter or blog or slack channel where you share tips and experiences on how you are able to drive results during design thinking workshops with examples of successes your teams have achieved

What's to gain?

If you do one of these suggestions, you will have your results and expertise documented, which helps others while also allowing people to understand what skills and knowledge you have.

What's at risk?

If you don't share your experiences, no one will learn from them or you. And no one will know the value you can bring.

Scenario 2:

You are coordinating an event for your leadership team and there is an opportunity for someone to speak on a panel. You usually are in the background prepping the leaders to deliver these messages, but lately you've been thinking you'd like the opportunity to speak as well.

Considering you are an expert on the topic and have prepared dozens of others to speak about it, you know you could get the job done and it would help grow your skills and credibility.

Suggestion:

Ask your leader if you could take on the role of speaker at an upcoming event.

What's to gain?

If they say yes, you get to take on a new opportunity to grow your skills and visibility, which could also result in more opportunities to do what you love.

If they say no, you can get feedback on why to identify if there are skills you need to acquire or if you need to demonstrate your abilities in other ways first.

What's at risk?

If you do not raise your hand for an opportunity you want, how will they ever know you want it?

The risk of not asking for what you want is never getting it.

Scenario 3

You've recently acquired new skills, a new degree, and/or have taken on more responsibilities at work. All of which is fantastic news except for the fact that you still have not been promoted or given a raise like you expected.

You know it is time to ask, but you just don't have the confidence to advocate for yourself.

Suggestion:

Gather the data and facts around the value you are bringing to your team, company, and clients. Compare what other people with your education and experience are making in the market. Use any data you have to show the increased value you will bring if you are promoted with more responsibilities or get paid what you are worth.

A great tip I heard recently at a Women's Conference was to put it back on your boss when you are in negotiations. You can do this by presenting the problem with data (i.e. you are not making what you are worth) and then simply asking, "What are you going to do about it?"

What's to gain?

At best, the promotion or pay increase for which you are asking. At worst, a chance to communicate your expectations and desires with people making decisions for your career.

What's the risk?

There is none. By asking for what you deserve, you will get an answer either way: 1) That they value you and are going to make it right, 2) Reasons why they do not agree and what you can do to change their minds, or 3) That they do not value your work the way you believe they should.

Once you have the answer, you get to decide what you will do next.

While putting yourself out there can be uncomfortable and go against what many people have learned throughout their life, it is one of the best ways for people to see your value and bring new opportunities your way.

The next time you are wrestling with if you should or should not asking for more, I hope you will remember these examples and decide... what are you really willing to risk?