The Rising Tide of Gratitude

I received a handwritten thank you card from one of my best friends last week. I had not done anything specific to warrant even a verbal thank you. This is someone who owes me nothing. This person has been like family, constantly giving me more than I feel I give in return. This person is busy, and I mean really busy, yet here was a handwritten and hand addressed thank you card. It made my day. It improved my attitude. It remains perched on my desk as a reminder. I immediately called this person and reiterated how appreciative I was of the card and of the relationship, and we scheduled our next get together. I then dusted off the stack of cards I had ordered in January and started writing some of my own. I was inspired, but most of all, I was reminded that gratitude is powerful, whether you receive it or give it.

I unashamedly express gratitude in various forms as much as I can because it makes me feel good, but I also know how it is received and hope it triggers what I call the rising tide of gratitude. Just like a rising tide raises all ships, an expression of gratitude, especially if carried forward, can improve collective attitude. There are numerous studies, books and other materials about how an attitude of gratitude can impact your health. While you can check those out on your own, I am convinced that any advisor will be better off by focusing on being thankful while showing appreciation for and to return kindness, the very definition of gratitude. Here are some ways that you can incorporate gratitude into your life:

1. Calendar it. While spontaneous gratitude is great, failure to be intentional about it can lead to forgetfulness and the ultimate absence from the great gift that gratitude is. Thus, I keep a calendar entry every Friday at 3pm entitled "Gratitude." I have for years. I started it at the urging of one of my closest friends. It is a reminder to take notice of all things in my life to be thankful for as I reflect on the week and head into the weekend. What better way to set the vibe for a great weekend? I don't just think of why I am grateful, I typically reach out to at least one person to express my gratitude. It has been a colleague, a referral source, a client, family, a friend, and even opposing counsel. I oftentimes employ one of the below acts of kindness as well. Regardless, when life gets busy, as it always does, I know that at least once a week I will get and give the gift of gratitude.
2. Perform Acts of Kindness. The handwritten card is an example. Another example is a gift of something meaningful to the sender and recipient. For example, my Mom recently sent me the Willy Wonka Candy Land game, the perfect amalgamation of one of our favorite movies combined with a family favorite game. Not only has it led to some great games with my wife and girls, it triggered the memory of my Mom always putting Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory into the VCR when was I was sick growing up because she knew it would make feel better. Simply put, acts of kindness trigger the good feels. Whether it is raking a neighbor's yard, complimenting someone random or sending a text message out of the blue to someone, just act.
3. Repeat. Though I urge intentionality, this does not have to be formulaic (like holiday cards have become, sorry not sorry). There is no scorecard here. If you are extremely grateful for someone, say it, again and again and again. I give praise up above daily. I also endeavor to repeat types of gratitude and recipients. I have not experienced diminishing returns for those of you wondering. Instead, it only continues to raise the proverbial tide of gratitude and all the feels that go with it.
4. Stringless. What I mean here is that giving gratitude should not have an ulterior motive. Be genuine. The best kind of thanks given and kindness received is the kind without any strings. Put another way, gratitude is best served without any expectation of a return.
5. Share. The purpose of this newsletter is to share my best practices that have impacted my life professionally and personally. I'm grateful for the feedback, thoughts and comments I have received as a result. I hope you will share your gratitude, in whatever way, whatever form, and at whatever cadence you see fit, but please share nonetheless.

So, go give some gratitude, and I guarantee you will immediately get all the good feels in return. If you are on the receiving end of gratitude, cherish it, and then pay it forward. Strive to be the one in your profession, your community, your circle of influence, your family or wherever you are that raises the tide of gratitude.