"Rise with tenacity, William! ": Louisiana State University wants me to make a big donation

A few years ago, my wife and I reported to the Catholic Student Center on a volunteer errand. The center is across the street from the LSU campus, and the university reserves a parking lot for churchgoers on Sundays.

This particular day was not a Sunday, but the parking-lot gate was open, and a sign proclaimed that the lot was designated for church parking. My wife and I both parked in the lot while we did our church business.

When we returned to our cars, we found parking tickets on the windshields--$330 apiece. Yes--LSU charged us $660 dollars for the privilege of parking our cars for about an hour and a half.

I immediately went to LSU's "welcome center" and registered a protest. This is surely a mistake, I said.

No, it was not a mistake, the clerk told me. LSU students who don't register their cars get a $300 ticket if they park on campus.

But my wife and I aren't students, I replied. In that case, the clerk told me, we'll knock off the $300 part of the ticket, and you each owe $30.

But your sign labeled the lot for church parking, I argued, and the parking gate was up. That was an error, the clerk retorted. The lot shouldn't have open.

There the matter rested. For the next 18 months, my wife and I each received a monthly bill from LSU for $30. I refused to pay.

Eventually, the university sent a letter informing us that our fines were being turned over to the District Attorney's office for collection. At that point, I broke down and wrote checks for $60.

Sometime after the parking incident, my wife and I donated to the LSU Foundation to help fund an endowed professorship. That donation got us on the LSU Foundation's mailing list and its email list. Now I get regular messages begging me to donate to the university.

Somewhere along the way, the LSU Foundation rolled out a $1.5 billion fundraising campaign titled "Fierce for the Future." Thus, in the spirit of fierceness, the Foundation's latest email message urged me to "join the global Tiger community to celebrate our tenacious spirit."

The Foundation designated March 10 as "Giving Day," and it urged me to "Rise with tenacity, William" and give the Foundation some money.

This is the university that charges $9 for a premium beer in Tiger Stadium. This is the university that gave head football coach Ed Orgeron a six-year contract for $42 million. And this is the university that constructed an $85 million student recreation center that includes a "Lazy River" water feature.

In any event, I already sent LSU sixty bucks. 

Therefore, in the spirit of the LSU Foundation's latest email message, I am fiercely rising with tenacity to say blow it out your ear!