The Rise of "Emotional Aggression"

More and more, security personnel, law enforcement, lawyers and judges are seeing a massive increase in "emotional aggression". This is opposed to cognitive/planned aggression, aggression that is meditated and deliberately targeted at an individual/business.

Following the recent pandemic, the fear mongering, the stress, the financial implications that have ensued, people are in a state of mental health decline that is contributing to this rise in emotional aggression.

In short, people's tolerance and rational thinking is so low, many are at breaking point without knowing it.

It is sometimes known as the whiplash effect, a term coined by clinical psychologist Jacquie McGuire. This is where persistent trauma occurs in a person's life, yet they never get the chance to regain full recovery from the trauma, so when the next traumatic event occurs, they fall deeper and deeper into mental health decline until they break.

This is where a lot of society, and quite often people we would never expect it from are sitting.....simply at breaking point. As this kind of aggression is unplanned, the outburst is even more dangerous as it comes deep from within our primordial response, the animalistic fight or flight response from deep within our amygdala. In essence, the response from this area of the brain is by its very nature, wild and uncontrollable until the threat is gone.

So how do we recognise and consequently deal with emotional aggression effectively.

RECOGNITION.

1. Impulsiveness: Emotional aggression often occurs spontaneously without much forethought. It is a reactive response to a situation that triggers strong emotions.
2. Intense Emotions: The behaviour is fuelled by intense feelings such as anger, frustration, jealousy, or fear. These emotions can overpower rational thinking and lead to aggressive actions.
3. Lack of Control: Individuals exhibiting emotional aggression may feel overwhelmed by their emotions and find it difficult to control their behaviour, leading to outbursts or physical aggression.
4. Proportional Response: The intensity of the aggression is often disproportionate to the actual situation, indicating that the response is more about the individual's emotional state than the external circumstances.
5. Short Duration: Emotional aggression tends to be short-lived, subsiding once the emotions have been expressed or the immediate situation has changed.
6. Regret and Remorse: After the aggressive episode, individuals may feel regret or remorse for their actions, especially if they acted out of character or caused harm to others.

Any of or all of the above can highlight emotional aggression and the danger that may ensue.

MANAGING IT

• LISTEN - take time to let the person vent their frustration. Venting is a form of self-soothing, it allows for an emotional outpouring of frustration. A phrase I often use in conflict de-escalation is.....

"if they're yapping, they're not slapping"

In essence it's a verbal release instead of a physical one.

• EMPATHISE - allow them to vent, then show empathy. You don't have to agree with their outburst of behaviour but you can at least understand they may be under immense stress or duress. Paraphrase back to them, let them know that you can understand how they must feel. Connect with the individual on some level
• DEFLECT BLAME - ensure that they know that your involvement in this situation is far from anything personal and that you are in this situation due to your employment status and that you actually want to help
• OPTIONS - then lay on the table options of different behaviours/choices that they wish to take. By delivering options you are allowing them to make a choice to the outcome, handing the temporary, subconscious ascendancy back to them.

By following these simple steps, you can start to help them regulate their emotion, slow down their fight/flight response, allow time to reason, to feel the situation and to self soothe.

Overall, understand for many people, they are doing it tough. Life is not easy. Take pride in knowing that with you knowing the above steps, you can be part of the solution rather than the problem

Say safe