Rise and Rise Again until Lambs Become Lions

"If you expect the World to be fair with you because you are fair, you are fooling yourself.

That's like expecting the lion not to eat you because you did not eat him."

Someone very wise once said "The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows, it's a very mean and nasty place." He also pointed out that life will beat you up to a pulp, knock you down to your knees and will keep you there permanently if you let it - no matter how tough you are. But then again, it's not about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.

If you are thinking about the 2?time?world heavyweight champion, Rocky Balboa, as you read the inspirational words above, then you are absolutely correct.

Life is so full of possibilities, with all its might and wonders. However, life is not always pretty, nor it is always comfortable. Often though, life hurts; it even breaks your heart. But that is okay. I believe the journey changes you; in fact, it should change you.

In this article, I will attempt to ellaborate, according to my perspective, how to steer through the tough times and how it can shape us into a wiser, stronger and better individuals; that if a person is put in an immense pressure, the kind of pressure that would either make or break oneself. And if by any chance, a person can overcome this hardship, they will become a far more superior person than before - a lamb that has risen as a lion.

1. Embrace it. You do need problems in your life... sometime.

Yes, you read that right. To live life, you need problems. It may sound ridiculous, but think about it again. If you get everything you want the minute you want it, what's the point of living?

One of the most fascinating rabbi and acclaimed psychiatrist, the late Dr Abraham Twerski (October 6, 1930 – January 31, 2021) used a very beautiful analogy of "how do lobsters grow" in respect to the ways we should deal with stress. He pointed out that lobsters are soft and mushy creatures that lives within a very rigid shell that does not expand. As the lobster grow, the shell becomes very confining, uncomfortable and above all, pressuring the animal. So what do they do? It goes under the rock, protecting itself from other predatory fishes, casts off the shell and produces a new one. Eventually, that shell will become too small as well, so a lobster will undergo this process several times during its life cycle.

Now here's the most important part. The stimulus for a lobster to grow is that it feels uncomfortable, that it was put under a lot of stress and pressure. If lobsters had doctors, everytime they feel uncomfortable, just go to a doctor, gets its medicine, then it would feel fine - but it will never grow. It's imperative to understand that times of stress are also a time and signal for growth. Think about it this way, if you wish to shine as bright as the sun, first you must burn like it. Thus, if we face adversities properly, only then we can grow through adversities. A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor, afterall.

2. Do Not Compare Yourself with Others. If you do so, You are Insulting Yourself.

Arguably, this is the worst thing that you can do when you are feeling pressured or under a lot of stress. Typically, when we compare ourselves to others, we look at their strengths and focus on our weaknesses, or we focus on their achievements and our lack of achievements. This is not a fair comparison and will often lead to further doubt and loss of self-confidence.

Now, the name of the game here is simple, it's called PERSPECTIVE. Comparisson, in this case, usually breeds from the feeling of jealousy/envy. It may be something that has got to do with our own insecurities or simply wanting the things some one else has that you don't.

Yes, you may be envious of someone who are more famous than you are (a celebrity, perhaps) or a colleague from work who has a higher position than you do. What we ought to realize is that when you are envious of somebody, it comes in a package. A celebrity, while they're famous and rich, but hey, they have to pay higher tax and may not be able to go out in public like you do and very less likely to have a sense of privacy. Your colleague, while they earn more, they got to work the extra hours, does not get to spend much quality time with their loved ones, or even they worked so hard it's taking its toll on their health - while you my friend, you get to play tennis at 6pm after work - talking about work/life balance here, am I right?

Relax, take it easy. You're doing fine. Remember, if things are going great, they won't last forever. If things are going bad, they won't last forever either. It's always good to use them who are better than us as motivation to become the fuel for us to reach our goals. Focus on yourself, your only comparisson is your former self... and you will be where you need to be eventually.

3. You're Angry. You should probably be.

The most natural response when sailing through the tough times is often anger. Now this anger can be directed towards anything that causes things don't go your way when you really need them to. You could be angry with the situation, other people around you and most importantly you are angry with yourself for feeling what you feel. Again, you read it right, you should probably be angry.

Mark Twain once said, "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." While this is true to a great extent, it can be argued that between the stimulus (whatever it is that makes you angry) and your response, there is a blank space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. It is imperative to understand that it is almost impossible to control how we feel when provoked, but we certainly can control what our reactions are going to be. In my opinion, we have two viable options.

First option: We can choose not to react at all. The great Stoics of our time (especially Seneca and the great Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius) have taught us to RESPOND and not to react. To react is to move on emotions. To respond is to move on INTELLECT (pretty deep, huh?). Once you have realized your stimulus and realize what you can and cannot control, you will be powerful enough not to give into your emotions. In theory, this is very easy to execute, but in practice, it's so hard. I have been working on this myself for so many years.

Second option: Use your anger. Yes, although it may sound a lot like a line that The Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars would say. However, you can actually use your anger to your advantage. Anger actually also signals a realization that something has got to change in your life for the better. Accept anger as your powerful ally and it will help you. Allow it to overwhelm you and it shall be your demise.

Now let's assume that anger is our weapon. Kratos (pictured below with his son, Atreus) from the critically acclaimmed God of War game franchise once shared his wisdom regarding this. He said to Atreus, "The power of this weapon, any weapon... comes from here (points at his son's heart)... but only when tempered by this (points at his son's head). By the discipline, the self-control of the one who wields it... that is where the true strength of a warrior lies."

It is truly amazing how the amount of life lesson you can learn from a video game, isn't it?

Conclusion

In the end, it is imperative to understand that stress, tough times and everything that could go wrong can go wrong at any given time, especially now. Dread it, run from it, they will arrive all the same (Yes, Thanos said similar thing). However, with the correct mindset, one can always view it as a sign to grow, to get out from your comfort zone or even better, to expand that zone. You will never appreciate the good times if you have not experienced the bad ones.

Subsequently, whether you think you are doing worse off or better than anyone else around you, you are most probably right. It's a matter of perspective. Life is a matter of choice and everything has its consequences. This is the law of opportunity cost. Remember, there is that x factor that you need to sacrifice (whether it's money, time, attention, energy or anything) to have what the other guy have - and vice versa for the other guy if he wants what you have.

And finally, it is vital to remember that we cannot control how we feel - but we can always choose how to respond, to move based on your intellect, not your emotion. Anger, when tempered by self-discipline and self-control will become a powerful ally, so befriend it and use it wisely.

If you are reading up to this point, you are all prepared.

Now rise.