The Ripple Effect

When it comes to changing systemic, societal issues like Mental Health and Climate Change. So often I hear people say that it is 'the system' , 'the politicians' and 'the big companies' that need to make the changes.

Whilst I whole heartedly agree that Big Changes call for Big People and Big Businesses to make committed changes.

Most of us aren't part of that level of 'leverage'.

I notice how powerless, hopeless and sometimes worthless these considerations can make the 'everyday us' feel.

So I wanted to share with you a story. About a ripple.

In 202o, as lockdown eased. A lady came to me for coaching.

She felt over-whelmed. Unlike others who had embraced healthier habits through lock down. She had struggled with the over-stimulus of noise and 'extra beings' in her home. Home schooling her children. Jiving with her husband for some viable office surface as they both tag-teamed and home worked.

With less meaningful connection then ever, in constant presence of each other. Which itself had sparked a 'grieving' process for 'older, happier ways'.

Whilst her goal was calm and happiness. ( And there was plenty of nostalgia around this being a previously present aspect of her life in earlier years). She was keen for things to slow down and be quieter too.

Her ask was something along these lines.

I want the things we say and do with each other to mean something. I want to feel grateful for this life I have. Not resentful for what it has become.

She had known her life had been 'busy' before Covid. And she had juggled 'mumming' and 'career' for financial happiness.

But amidst the chaos of the close quarters of her now-too-busy home. She acknowledged what she really wanted is space to be.

Peace of mind.

And reconnection.

On first meeting, we went to what I called a 'local park' . The park was around a 15 minute drive from where she lived. Or a 30-40 minute walk. It was full of lush trees and there was denseness in the foliage. As most of the 'pruning' had ceased through lock-down.

The first thing she said when we met is. 'I haven't been here for years you know. I must bring the kids here more often'.

Secondly she recalled a 'huge old tree' that she always used to walk to. So I invited her to take me there.

Along the way we explored strategies for stress management. And unpicked some beliefs she had adopted about communication ( or lack of it). We considered natures own mechanisms for communication and what courage, conviction and messages she could find to make things clearer, calmer and connected in her 'lively messy ecosystem'

And then we came to the tree.

'Here it is' she exclaimed to me gleefully, as if she was part of a show and tell. All while swiping her hand around it's trunk as we circled it's circumference together.

We reflected on the trees age. What it might have seen in its life time. What changes and shifts it would have had to adopt. In its approach. It's environment. It's own communication with the rest of the park.

And that was all we needed to do. The rest bloomed in a range of perspectives, actions and considerations that she could take back into her world.

And then the ripple.

Here are just some of the things that happened for her as a result of that session.

• That weekend she walked with her husband and kids to the park to see the tree.
• She used her new model of communication (inspired by a forest) to enhance communication with her husband and kids.
• Understanding that her ecosystem was not 'thriving' she made small adaptations to create space for everyone to grow. In Human terms this looked like protected workspaces for her and her husband. Packing work stuff away at the end of the day. Sharing cooking responsibilities. And thanking each other for their pretty excellent team efforts.
• At the end of the day, she created space for reflection by exploring other nature spaces in her local area. Choosing ones within walking distance.
• She lost weight because she was moving more. And began to 'not even think' about getting dressed in the morning because it just became an easy thing. Fitting back into old clothes she had loved.
• When she saw an article about biodiversity on the news. She paused 'on the arm of the sofa' and listened instead of walking by and switching off.
• Feeling more aligned with self-care - she purchased a range of beauty products outside of her normal budget. In this moment learning for the first time about BCorp and sustainability. Taking herself down a 'google worm hole' of understanding how products could be kinder to planet and people.
• She discovered clothing sites where she could sell the kids old clothes and also informed me she had 'grabbed some right bargains' and was even complimented on some of them - which of course she immediately disclosed the bargain price and purchase location to - like so many of us ladies do! ( ' Vinted - ￡6!)
• When her son shared with her about a visit from a 'bat man' at Scouts (Not THE Bat Man but a conservation man with bats) and reeled off facts to her about endangered breeds. They opted to buy him an 'adopt a bat' present for Christmas instead of some of his usual 'throw-away' gifts.
• As she returned to the office, a few days a week. With her peace of mind and well-being as priority . She made a decision to walk there on the days she took the kids to school, since it was on the way. Cutting down around 180-200 short distance car trips over the period of the year.
• Loving life and her new found energy even more. She and her friend went wild swimming. In that experience she had a realisation that she could challenge herself in new ways.
• This led to a recognition that she wanted a 'more purposeful' career. And through careful research identified a role and work culture that would better support the future community she wanted to see. (And supported her to esteem herself with a salary increase too).
• With less stress and more energy she had more time to cook again. Reducing the amount of pre-bought plastic wrapped sandwiches she had been getting for herself and her husband. And adding to her energy levels with amazing tasty meals.
• And when she found herself having a 'tough day' and needed some head space and a chance to reset. She always knew there was a tree, just down the road, waiting for her to declutter her mind muddle, between the greenery. As she swiped her hand around the vast old trunk.

Small but meaningful ripples.

We all have the potential to create them.

Have you considered yours?

#Change #Confidence #Esteem #NatureConnection #ProenvironmentalBehaviours #Lifestyle #Hope #Nature #ClimateChange #Wellbeing #Mentalhealth #Balance #WorkLifeBalance #Coaching

* Information taken as part of a coaching review 2022 - permission to share anonymised.