The right question

Ah…that time of the year again. 

Is it my imagination or does time seem to go faster these days? Especially when I am running where it is taking longer to cover the same distance ;-) Its been an interesting year on many counts. Given my post at this time last year (Second half), I should self evaluate and present a scorecard of how well I did. That follows towards the end of this post, but I’ve been pondering, off late, on a different, but related question. Over the past year, I’ve not done too badly in terms of reading and learning and my partners in this journey have been many – from Yuval Harari to Swami Sarvapriyananda to a whole host of TED speakers and beyond. One of my resolutions last year was to ask more questions and all this reading, learning and reflection is slowly crystallizing the fact that I may not have been asking the right question for many years.

For too long now, conditioned by the society around me, I’ve been led to believe that I need to look for answers to the question “What do I want out of life?” and then go about executing on whatever answer I gave myself. The next educational degree, a house, a car, the next higher paying job with a fancier sounding title, a whatever…

But maybe, as David Brooks (learning from Joseph Soloveitchik and St. Augustine) and Viktor Frankel in “Man’s search for meaning” so eloquently put it, the real question to ask might be “What does life want of me?”. A simple inversion, “outside in” perspective in management speak, but one that opens up a new frontier of self-exploration. 

I am not sure I fully understand the true import of this question, but even a cursory reflection suggests many possible avenues for answers – in family life, in professional life and in personal pursuits & hobbies. And it is clear, whatever the answer may actually be, it is likely to require me to develop new skills and habits to get to the answer and live it out. The resume virtues driving towards acquisition and attainment are unlikely to get me there. The eulogy virtues driving towards service and sacrifice are far more promising.

So maybe this is the year, I start focusing on this question and working towards further developing the additional skills needed to answer. A year of many new experiences lies ahead – the third house in 3 years, a daughter going to high school and maybe visits to some new countries. In the midst of this, the hope to have some more insights into this new question nagging me shall remain in the forefront.

And finally, in the spirit of Lou Holtz’s - “Nothing is as good as it seems, and nothing is as bad as it seems. Somewhere in between lies realty”, the scorecard for the year past.

1.      Give; More than I take: A minus. Can give more, can take less.

2.      Thank; More than I ask: A. Doing better.

3.      We first, I next: B. Still too much about me.

4.      Health; Before wealth: A. Averaged atleast four days a week of physical activity.

5.      Understand; Before judgement: B plus. Can do better.

6.      Think; Before talk: B plus. Can do much better.

7.      Forgive; More than ever: A minus. Can reduce how long it takes to forgive.

8.      Questions; Not answers: A minus. Need to make it second nature

9.      Pray; With meaning: A. Getting there.

10.  Add less; Do more: C plus. Didn’t add anything, but didn’t take away too much either.