Riddle me this….Is it narcissistic for a Millennial to ask: “Why is everyone so obsessed with me!?”

The obsession with Millennials never fails to amaze me. Repeatedly moaned about as if they were hormonal teens, I don’t know if most authors (of the never-ending flow of articles!) realise that Millennials are now coming up to 40 years old! For years having engaged some of the most challenging millennials in society, from addicts in rehab to offenders in prison, the challenge to engage and retain millennials at work…. a paid job, in a decent (often luxurious) setting, around safe people (well, mostly)….. fascinated me! So much so, that when I shared this confusion around the challenge with a complaining CEO he challenged me to come in, run a workshop for his managers, and see if I could get them to understand these *#!!*# millennials myself! Nothing gets me going like a challenge, so off I went to put the education I had unknowingly received from my perplexing clientele into a formulised workshop (alongside some extra selfie-video millennial research I couldn’t help but collate!). To my surprise, what seemed like common sense to me, was a novelty to them.?

As a graduate of history, education & psychology, my workshops naturally consist of a socio-cultural-psychological context, piecing together my take on why each generation is how they are. As the generational puzzle pieces interlinked, a relatable and sensical narrative unfolded. The Traditionalists, Boomers, GenX, Millennials and GenZ, were no longer generations defined through division of years. They jumped to life as crucial figures in the development of society as we know it. Not just from an industrial perspective, but I found that the world today (and those living in it) is a tribute, or a product (collateral damage!?), of the generations before.?

As a self-confessed millennial, using this as an excuse, would make me stereotypically entitled (is it really only entitled millennials who moan: ‘I am who I am because of you’?). But is there anything wrong with it providing an explanation? An explanation that is in fact pretty humbling, crediting all that we are, to all that has been (I suppose the line between crediting and blaming can be a fine one). In Stein’s ground breaking article in Time magazine, way back in 2013, he names Millennials?‘The Me Me Me Generation: Millennials are lazy, entitled, narcissists who still live with their parents.’?Remarkably in the same article he claims: ‘They’re not a new species; they’ve just mutated to adapt to their environment.’ Stein is a GenX….just saying.?

Curious isn’t it… the balance between organising the world to make sense of it, and prejudice (harsh I know! But we need to be honest….everyone is susceptible!). On one end of the spectrum we have schema, the basic psychological process of categorising the world into a navigable system of comprehensible parts. These categories develop in sophistication the more we know and understand of that area. (A dog lovers awareness of differing breeds, in contrast to someone with less interest and understanding…. A dog is a dog…maybe there are big ones and small ones?) Somehow, even the most sophisticated of people can over categorise that which is unfamiliar, or uninteresting, to them. Arguably this takes us to the other end of the spectrum where we find prejudice: over-categorisation of many, based on assumptions, or experience, of a few. The way to tackle this prejudice, which leads to division, judgement and lack of engagement across diversity, is undoubtedly with education. This is no difference with age diversity. Moan all you want, but if you?also?want to work together, optimising potential, experience, skillset and talent, educate yourself about the generational differences. This will empower you and humble you all at once. (Is there anything better for one’s character?)?

As Libby Purves highlighted this week; complaining about other generations is not new, every generation does it.?But why then is nothing done to prepare for this??OK, making fun of millennials might be ‘fun’ she says (is it?), but ultimately I want to flag that businesses are suffering with rock-bottom engagement and retention of younger employees. Furthermore, mental health across Millennials and GenZ is often worrying, with spikes so severe we have a shortage of psychiatric hospital beds. Paradoxically there are more vastly successful Millennial entrepreneurs than in any other generation….. the talent and potential is unfathomable (think Facebook, Pinterest, Spotify, Air BnB etc….). I’m sure companies are aware by now that in their failure to retain Millennials, they are letting go of an enormous amount of talent. You might not want the Millennial habits, but you can’t keep their talent then I’m afraid. (What if, these habits have something to do with the talent….just a suggestion!) Point is, there is a lot of complaining and not enough doing. But I have a hunch that it’s not the millennials that are missing out!

With GenZ now entering the workplace I already have millennial managers calling in frustration at how to manage such a difficult bunch (everyone loves to complain about someone!). After developing a fab workshop on GenZ, (and on neurodiversity because lets face it the workplace needs to catch up there too), which I am buzzing to roll out! But guess what, most of my calls are still about millennials! If we know Gen Z are coming, well they’re here,?why are people still talking about millennials!?!?

With the main complaint around millennials being narcissism & entitlement, I have found myself with that Carly Simon tune stuck in my head….You’re so vein, I’ll bet you think this song is about you. It disorients my perspective as much as the riddle I started with.