Rich Talk for a Joyful Back to School

Whether you're a teacher, parent, relative, or caregiver, you may have a lot of mixed feelings about back to school--and the kids under your care might as well. There's a lot of anxiety floating around, along with a good dose of excitement?for seeing new friends and discomfort mixed with anticipation about what will be new.

In my house, there's discussion about what it will be like to have a cafeteria for the first time, which friends will be in which class, and which teachers are and aren't coming back.

To prepare for back to school, we tend to do the obvious: buy school supplies, check class lists, make sure we have the "first day" outfit, and so on.

But what about setting the stage for a great year in conversation? This is probably the most important--and most easily forgotten--aspect.?In fact, setting the stage lets you build bonds with kids early on. It also shows them a model of how the rest of the school year will look.

So how should we do it? Try these ideas as a start:

1)?Begin with reflective listening,?plus targeted questions: At all ages, kids want to be seen and heard for their authentic experiences. Through reflective listening,?plus?a few targeted questions, we can help them ease the transition back to school.?

What is reflective listening? Here, you make the effort to hear how children experienced the past few months. You dive into their emotional experiences and reflect them back. You also ask targeted questions to go deeper. Also, keep in mind that children's experiences might not have been positive over the summer. Be thoughtful about welcoming a range of emotions, not just "happy" ones.

How might this look and sound?

·????? For a child ages 3-4: "Draw a picture of one activity you did over the summer. It might be at home or in a new place. Let's hang them on the wall and talk about it."?

o?? Example follow-ups: "That sounds like an exciting trip to the beach. What were you feeling when you were in the sand?" or "That sounds like a tough visit to the doctor's. How did you feel when you got the cast off?"

·????? For a child of 5-8:?"Did anything surprise you over the summer? What was it? Why did it surprise you?" Offer an example as a model: "I was surprised when my children brought home a toy robot they had made in camp. It actually made noise!" Allow the children to write or draw an answer. Then, discuss what the surprise was and why it was surprising.

o?? Example follow-ups:?"I would be surprised by a pet frog too. What was the hardest part about taking care of it?" "A sunflower blooming in your garden sounds exciting. What happened after you planted it inside?"?

2)?Help children hear each other out:?One of the biggest complaints I hear from teachers is "the kids rarely listen to each other." In part, it's because we tend to jump into activities without setting the stage. Instead, try this as a start:

·????? "Ask Me About" activity.?

Have you ever seen a worker at a store or an office with an "Ask me about" sticker? This sticker is great, because it allows strangers to know the person's name and then to understand something the person likes or is passionate about. It's the perfect way to strike up a conversation. You can try the same thing in your family or classroom. For example:?

·????? In a classroom:??At the start of the year, give children name stickers with a part that reads?ask me about.?Invite the children to write their names. Depending on their ages, ask them to write or draw one activity or subject they really like talking about. Provide an example as a model. "My name is Rebecca, and I really like talking about outer space. I am going to draw Jupiter and some stars."

·????? Afterward, invite the children to meet in pairs and then in small groups. See if the pairs can guess the drawing. Then, share about the topic. Model questions like:

o?? When did you first get interested in that?

o?? What is one cool fact about that?

o?? Who else do you know who likes that?

o?? What do you think is so interesting about that?

o?? At the end, invite children to share with the class if they like.

You can try a version of this activity at home too! You don't need name tags, of course. But you might be surprised by what your children say when you ask them to draw the thing they like most. See if you learn something about each other.

I hope these ideas are helpful and wish you a great, joyful start to the year. Let me know what you think--I love feedback!

For more newsletters, or to sign up, see this link .

Also, you can find my full book,?The Art of Talking with Children ,?here.?

Finally, one exciting piece of news: I will be writing a book designed specifically for early childhood teachers (up through age 8) for Brookes Publishing . To learn more or try out some beta materials, please contact me at?[email protected]

Rebecca Rolland, EdD

https://www.rebeccarolland.com

Author of the?Art of Talking with Children , now available?from HarperCollins

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