Rhinestones and bourbon

Growing up we travelled on family vacations a lot. We didn't have money to go overseas...or fly much. So, we'd load up the cooler with food in the "old grey mare" as our 90s-era Mark III van was eventually dubbed, stock up on movies for the small TV/VCR, and away we'd putter. I'd estimate a third of my earliest, and fondest, memories are from bopping around the Carolinas and Appalachia. We'd dip our toes in the chilly creeks and hopping rocks in the winding backwoods of the mountains. We'd even spring for a day at Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, TN.

Oh, we loved Dollywood. My sister, who lived in Florida, bought a season pass I think just to have an excuse to go back. It's not only the campy rides or sparkly shows -- it's the entire ambience created by Dolly and her crew that offers the world and the talent and pizzazz of the Tennessean heritage. It's an area rich in music, celebration, and family. A people who are community and faith-driven...but don't mind a few rhinestones and bourbon. That's why most people love Dolly. And it's also why most people love drag.

Given my family's affinity for the flair of a good show, it's no surprise that I spent a ton of Friday nights at Town Dance Boutique in Washington, D.C. (RIP), watching the incredible performers -- then dancing until my soul was replenished with love and hope in time another week. I don't love drag because I'm queer. I love drag because it's entertaining and celebrates everyone. Remember: we're seeking rhinestones and bourbon.

But there's all this kerfuffle in our country right now by political groups and politicians to say that drag is inappropriate for children. And that trans and non-binary people don't really exist...as if we're merely moral deviants who haven't pondered into the deepest depths of our soul for years, decades even, to understand who we are and how to feel at home in our tiny little sliver of the earth that we inhabit.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that a full episode of Ru Paul's Drag Race shouldn't be shown to elementary school kids any more than an episode of Game of Thrones or Daredevil (currently available on Disney+). But this isn't truly about protecting children from overly sensualized public entertainment. If that were the case, they'd write laws restricting all these commercials for contraceptives and the like. I mean...have you seen the latest one going around?

When you've been around as long as me, you realize that anytime a politician signs a controversial bill into law, there will be photographic proof of their hypocrisy on the matter. And the response to this criticism is what inspired me to sit and write today. Because "lighthearted school traditions" of powderpuff football or Halloween costumes in years gone by are okay, according to some.

Well, why is that? Why is it all right that Mrs. Doubtfire is a hit movie from the 90s, but a kid who grew up watching that movie can't rock a skirt to school? Why is White Chicks constantly on tv while real medical facilities with real trans patients endure countless real bomb threats?

So what's this truly about? Power. Plain and simple, it's always power. Because when drag is used to mock, it reinforces the dominance of masculinity. When drag is used to express, it shows the fragility of masculinity. It's the same for queer-ness.

I'm not a drag queen, but I do identify as queer/nonbinary, and I guarantee you I would be one of the most positive influences on your child's life if I had the honor of knowing them. Now, some queer people don't like kids so, you know, don't just throw your little ones to anyone wearing a pride flag hat. Just treat us like everyone else and we'll all be good.

We don't want to destroy anyone's life. We haven't all conspired to join forces and destroy the family unit or make everyone gay/queer/etc. I can't speak for all of us, but for me all I want right now is to live in peace.

And maybe some rhinestones and bourbon.