Rewriting My Leadership Story

Have you ever felt trapped in a role that stifled your creativity? Or found yourself annoyed by some colleague who seemed always complaining about their jobs or their manager or the deadlines? I've been there, and I want to share how I broke free from that cycle and discovered the transformative power of choice. It took me a burnout and a severe illness to understand that we need to choose and we always have choices. A (simple?) realization that now forms the cornerstone of my work as a leadership coach.

The Believe of No Choice

For years, I believed I was doing the best job I could do, given my humble origins, a Bachelor from no famous college and 2 languages learnt in evening schools. The corporate world seemed to me the paramount of my achievements. Yet who knows me, saw me sometimes sad and powerless. My ideas for serving people and making a real difference must give place to execution and hitting sales targets. "Follow the processes, execute at best" was my dreaded hearing.

What was even more draining was the constant stream of complaints from some colleagues. Day in and day out, I'd hear:

"The management doesn't understand us." "We're overworked and the processes don′t work." "There's no room for growth in this company." "Nothing change here!"

I nodded along, smiled, believing we were all in the same boat, not able to change much. I thought we must always be grateful for what we have. Little did I know, I was reinforcing a mindset that was holding us all back.

The Wake-Up Call

My turning point came when I got the first burnout. I couldn′t understand why things were not working as I wanted. I was working 12 hours a day and struggling to fit in. I wanted to be an high performer but I ended up sick. I stumbled upon Simon Sinek's work. I listened to all his talks, hanging on every word. His concepts of "Why" and purpose or "The Infinite Game" resonated deeply with me. I began to see that I had been playing a finite game, pretending my purpose is to be successful in a corporate career. I was focusing on what society defines as success, not myself. I was avoiding conflict, rather than pursuing a larger purpose, imploding.

Around the same time, I picked up Brianna Wiest's book. The essays on change and courage made me question my approach to work and life. Was I really aware of my needs and what makes me feel alive? Or was I hiding behind the excuse of "that's just how things are"? Should I work to finance my passions or can I live supporting others and live on it? Is it true that if you choose a job that has people as main scope, you cannot earn good money?

The Coaching Revelation

A good friend of mine made a sarcastic comment that made me angry and bought me to reflect: "You seem like my dog, focusing on the same bone while I put him proper food. He is sometimes so obsessed with the bone that he doesn′t realize there are other choices".

I started to list all the reasons why I couldn't possibly make changes – financial obligations, lack of experience in other fields, fear of the unknown. But my friend, who is an experienced coach challenged me to look beyond these perceived limitations. She reminded me that the cost of doing nothing was already under my eyes.

I must surrender and start seeing the truth: we always have choices. We might not like all the options, and some of them might be difficult, but they exist. I had been so focused on why things couldn't work that I never stopped to truly explore what could be possible.

Shifting Perspectives

This realization was both liberating and terrifying. If I always had a choice, it meant I was responsible for my circumstances. I needed to try new ways, to change the mindset and have the courage to take new paths. I started small. Instead of joining in the complaint sessions, I began asking my colleagues, "What would you like to see change? How could you contribute to that change?" "What are we proposing to improve and what can we individually do?" They thought I was no more on their side.

In meetings, instead of silently disagreeing, I started voicing my ideas. Yes, sometimes they were shot down, but other times they sparked interesting discussions. I was no longer just a passive participant in my work life; I was actively choosing to engage.

The Ripple Effect

As I embraced this new mindset, something incredible happened. My enthusiasm became contagious. Colleagues who used to be the biggest complainers started coming to me with ideas for improvements. My bosses began to see me as a problem-solver rather than just another cog in the machine.

But the most significant change was internal. I felt empowered. Even on challenging days, I knew I was there by choice, and that made all the difference.

Becoming a Leadership Coach

It took me another burnout to realise that the ′problem′was not the corporate world. My needs, values, aspirations needed to be met. I must stop trying to fit in an idea of success that was not mine anymore. I realized that I needed to get out, build my own business, get into the cold water and work with people. My passion.

Now, as a coach, I help leaders recognize and harness the power of choice. We work together to:

1. Identify limiting beliefs that create the illusion of no choice
2. Explore a wider range of possibilities in any given situation
3. Develop the courage to make choices aligned with their values and vision
4. Create a culture of empowerment and responsibility within their teams

A Call to Leaders

To the leaders reading this: How often do you catch yourself saying "I have to" instead of "I choose to"? How might your leadership transform if you approached each decision as a conscious choice rather than an obligation?

The path of conscious choice isn't always easy. As Brené Brown reminds us, it requires vulnerability and courage. It means being willing to admit when we're wrong and to change course when necessary. But it's also incredibly empowering.

By embracing the power of choice, you can:

• Foster innovation by encouraging diverse perspectives
• Build resilience in the face of challenges
• Inspire your team to take ownership of their roles and contributions
• Create a more positive and proactive work environment

Your Next Choice

As you finish reading this, you have a choice to make. Will you continue as before, perhaps feeling constrained by circumstances? Or will you take the first step towards a more empowered leadership style?

If you're ready to explore the transformative power of choice in your leadership, coaching can be an invaluable tool. It provides a safe space to challenge your assumptions, expand your perspectives, and develop new strategies for success.

Remember, every moment presents an opportunity to choose. What will you choose today to become the leader you aspire to be?