“Revolution of Tenderness”

2016 Keynote Address

Members of the Board of Trustees, President Fitzgerald, Provost Heller, Dean Camperi, faculty and staff of the University, families, friends and fellow graduates, Good afternoon! I am simply ecstatic to be here with you today. First and foremost, I thank God for this day because through him all things are truly possible.

I would specifically like to thank Professor James Taylor for his grace and my dear friend Dr. Joseph Marshall for his encouragement. I am excited that both of my sons, my sister, and my father along with a host of friends could witness this moment today. Also shout out an EOYDC USF 2016 grad in the audience – Mr. Caleb Smith, I SEE U!

Wow. A PhD in real life? It doesn’t get any better than this! It warms my heart immensely to know the work I’ve given my life to is being appreciated and recognized in such a powerful way. There are not enough words to express my gratitude so let’s just say, my cup runneth over.

Parents and families – we are kin in the knowledge of just how special this moment is. Just five days ago, I sat where you are sitting now watching my youngest son receive his college degree (with honors, I might add). Believe me the electric cocktail of pride excitement joy and relief coursing through your hearts won’t be going away anytime soon. This week I am blessed to say I have witnessed this achievement from all sides of the spectrum, as a parent, a teacher, and a graduate. Everything I had hoped for collapsed into a single momentous experience that lives inside me forever so congratulations on this – your moment. Your achievement.

From the caterpillar emerging into the butterfly, we have watched them grow. Now we must let our graduates spread their wings and face their fears, knowing that from this day forward they can walk in their own truth. We must be affirmed in the notion that they are prepared and that they can lead…

We are here today to celebrate and acknowledge some of the Bay Area’s – and quite frankly, the nation’s – finest prospects. As graduates of the University of San Francisco, you are equipped to lead lives of dignity, compassion, and integrity. Take a second to understand just how big this moment is! There are 7.4 billion people that share this world with us. If you have never seen a family member die in a war, been a slave, or experience torture, you are already more fortunate than over 500 million people. If you keep food in a refrigerator, your clothes in a closet, have a roof over your head, and sleep in a bed, you are already more wealthy than over 5 billion people. AND, because you have had an opportunity to attend college, you are already more advantaged than over 7 billion people – that is 99 percent of the world. INDEED YOU ARE SPECIAL!!! But to whom much is given, much is required!

So graduates, I am now speaking to you directly (those of you who wish to eavesdrop, listen closely). If we want to, as you say here at USF, “change the world from here,” we must play an active role in that change. Know that in order to make that change and be the leader you are meant to be, you must understand the world you live in, possess emotional intelligence, and be ready. Whether you head to grad school or the workforce or the Peace Corps, every next level of your life will demand a different version of you – a more prepared, more skilled, more confident version. Just as you could not show up at USF the way you showed up at high school, you must keep stretching to maximize your possibilities, remembering that showing up just “good enough” is an injustice to your “best” self and much worse to those that believe in you. You must decide what you will stand for, and what you want your legacy to be.

My legacy, as you can surmise, is the East Oakland Youth Development Center. I remember my first day at EOYDC. Immediately, I was faced with a dilemma. The doctors had called to say that my five-year-old son had pneumonia. My husband was travelling and the parent in me wanted to miss my first day. However, since I couldn’t, I got resourceful. I asked my sister to stay home from her job at IBM until I could return to take care of my precious responsibility. Thank goodness she said yes. My reason for showing up that day, despite all that was going on, was simple. As the new leader, I had to deliver some devastating news. I was tasked with reengineering the organization so a return to basic programming was where I began. I was cutting the budget by $1.8 million, reducing 42.5 positions to 12. I wanted to make sure to give a six-week notice to staff and contractors to help create transition plans toward other jobs.

Today, 22 years later, people are cut from jobs and within 30 minutes of notice are walked out the front door. We are living in a tumultuous time. We, as a collective, demonize the poor and the mentally ill through lack of resources and policies, turn a cold shoulder to the homeless who live in squalor, shoo the elderly out of the way in lines because they are slow, ignore the blind trying to maneuver their way down the street because we are so focused on our phones, FOCUSED ON OUR PHONES. This is a huge problem we have globally. Recently, as I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa, I heard stories about how rude and condescending Americans were. I traveled to Turkey shortly after and two weeks after I left, a bomb was set off in the same place I had just passed through. Travelling is an amazing and fulfilling experience that everyone should be able to enjoy, but the uncomfortable experience of going through security to enter my hotel or a mall showed me that we are in a more fragile time than we know. This week’s Egypt Air disappearance is yet another reminder.

These issues are not just restricted to the rest of the world. Here at home, we are broken. Our politics are filled with rage and a culture of cruelty. Social media feeds go viral highlighting violence, bullying, and disrespect. Hate is hiding in plain sight! This, in the year of mercy, the Pope says we must not forget the dispossessed. At EOYDC, we serve this population daily. Our children navigate trauma-filled streets and homes and suffer from complex PTSD as a result – yes, PTSD is not just for soldiers who return home from war. Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder affects the poor twice as much based upon the regular doses of violence they see and hear. Because our kids don’t get to leave their battlefield since it is where they live they must always remain in that trauma. The poor are not a different kind of people, they are exposed to the most depraved indifference because they have less – less opportunity, less education, less employment, less resources. Which in turn means that the cycle of poverty can only be broken if quality education and support systems, like those found at EOYDC and other holistic wrap around service organizations are accessed. This is why in order to help the neediest population and change this world, you first must understand it – starting from your home.

But just understanding what goes one around this world is not enough (after all, you could get a pretty good idea after watching CNN for a few hours). We need something more. What do we need? I will tell you what we need, We NEED A REVOLUTION  – a revolution of tenderness, a revolution of kindness – where compassion and empathy are not nice to have, they are required. Now some of you might be saying to yourself – kindness? Really? That’s soft… Kindness, is a choice! It costs nothing and is something you can control.

A few years back I took an Executive Education class on leadership at Harvard Business School. Out of 100 students, I was the only one from the non-profit world. Somewhere among the economics of business, the storytelling, and the formulas for success was this important piece that most had forgotten: it is that the key component for successful leaders is the presence of emotional intelligence. The psychologist Daniel Goleman, first coined the phrase “emotional intelligence” in 1995 and since then, it has been found as the most essential ingredient in a great leader. Emotional intelligence includes 5 traits: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. These traits are affected by your daily inputs. And yes, you heard right, these traits are the most essential components to a leader. High IQs and amazing technical skills and being a visionary isn’t enough – it is more important to be emotionally intelligent.

This revolution of kindness isn’t just the nice thing to do, it’s the smart thing to do! It doesn’t matter if you’re leading a small community based organization in East Oakland or a Fortune 500 company in New York – you must do so by making authentic, transparent, and meaningful connections. It will affect your bottom line. You see, leaders broach the uncomfortable questions and take the path least travelled…The true measure of a leader’s quality is seen during the darkest days…during the greatest challenges… it is showcased in how you treat those that can do nothing for you. How many of you notice the janitor or the receptionist in an office? Take notice…you are missing incredibly knowledgeable people… This is strong character and emotional intelligence at its best. It is not easy, but then again nothing worth having is.

The last thing you need on your way to changing the world is to simply be ready for it. Graduates, I lay a heavy burden at your feet. I know it will be okay because we lay this heavy burden at our participants’ feet regularly and since we facilitate youth-led programs which train them and put them in positions to lead…they lead. We hand off an imperfect world for you to change one person at a time. And being ready for this challenge will be imperative.

Readiness is defined by the character development, preparation, training, and mentoring you receive. I leave you now with a story of readiness featuring a young woman who happens to be in the audience today. Her name is Lanikque Howard.

Neka, as we affectionately call her, was an Oakland High student who at age 15 cried throughout our EOYDC sleepover because she had never spent a night away from home. Later, I encouraged – okay, forced – her to go on a mountain climbing trip with me in Yosemite. She thought she would die in those seven days in the wilderness with the mosquitos and sounds of nature – she was used to ambulance and police sirens, not crickets and bears. Needless to say, she survived the trip and grew from her exposure. A year later, I took her on her first college tour.  

When she graduated from high school, she did so ahead of everyone in her family, her mom included. She was accepted to and graduated from UC Berkeley. I pushed her again to study abroad in Europe where I had the pleasure of meeting up with her. While there, she decided that she should apply for the next level of her educational experience. She was accepted into the PhD program at the University of Wisconsin-Madison for Social Welfare – which, by the way, is in the top five schools in the country. After completing her second year and Master’s Degree, she was offered an opportunity to work inside the White House for the Office of Children and Families. After two and a half years with the Administration, she recently resigned to return to complete her PhD work because she wants to do research in order to return home to change systems and impact Oakland. This is a girl who was READY. Her readiness has given her access, opportunity, and exposure at the highest levels. AND she is just 26. So be ready to step outside your comfort zone and do things you don’t want to do. In other words, EAT YOUR VEGGIES! It’s good for you.

No matter where we are in our journey, we should keep getting ready because opportunities come when you least expect them. SO HOW READY ARE YOU? How ready is the person sitting next to you? Are you ready to learn more about this world around us? Are you ready to lead in an emotionally intelligent way? And most importantly, are you ready to change the world from here?  

Congratulations Class of 2016!

It is your time to show the world that YOU ARE READY!

Regina Jackson, President and CEO

East Oakland Youth Development Center