Revisiting Covey

A while back, I was introduced to an analogy by Stephen Covey in a business context, aimed at prioritizing tasks. Like many of you, I've applied this framework at work to better focus on what truly needs to be accomplished.

Yet, as time has passed, I've found myself continually drawn back to this analogy, pondering its implications not just for managing work, but for life itself. It touches on something more universal, more intimately connected to how we live and what we value. This insight inspired me to revisit Covey’s analogy with fresh eyes, aiming to find the deeper impact it has on the essence of our lives.

For those of you who do not know the analogy, it is this: Imagine life as a jar. This jar, transparent and resilient, holds the "big rocks"—the essentials like health, family, passions, and life's true priorities that offer deep fulfillment. The "pebbles" fill in around these, necessary tasks and responsibilities like work and home maintenance, important but not the core of our existence. The "sand" finds its way into the remaining spaces, representing life's myriad minor tasks and distractions, such as the endless scroll through social media or tackling an overflowing email inbox.

Going deeper with the analogy, as we place each element into the jar, we encounter the "space between"—the silent, often overlooked gaps amidst the rocks, pebbles, and sand. These spaces, akin to the pauses in a musical composition, hold significant power. They remind us of the importance of rest and reflection, offering moments to breathe and to listen deeply to our lives. It's within these pauses that clarity emerges, guiding us to distinguish between the urgent and the important, between mere noise and true music.

Adding to our reflection, let's introduce "water" into the analogy—life's unforeseen challenges and emotions, seamlessly integrating into every available space. Water teaches us the essence of adaptability and resilience, illustrating how life's unexpected events can fill our jars, not with disruption, but with opportunities for growth and transformation. Like water, these experiences shape us, smoothing our edges and reshaping our priorities, reminding us of the beauty in flexibility and the strength found in yielding.

In a culture that often equates busyness with success, we might be tempted to fill our jars to the brim with sand and pebbles, boasting (or lamenting) about our capacity (or not) to juggle an endless array of tasks. Yet, this analogy invites us to consider a different path. It challenges us to prioritize the big rocks first, ensuring that the most meaningful aspects of our lives are given precedence. By doing so, we allow the pebbles and sand to find their place around what matters most, guided by the space between and nourished by the flow of water.

This perspective has become a beacon for me, illuminating the path through the daily cacophony of "shoulds"—what we should eat, how we should exercise, what we should wear, and with whom we should spend our time. It underscores a lesson in prioritization and balance, teaching us the art of discernment. By focusing on the big rocks, everything else naturally finds its place, or perhaps, we realize it was never meant to occupy our jar at all.

In a world that glorifies busyness, this analogy offers a moment of profound clarity. It encourages us to pause, to consider the space between, and to embrace the flow of water through our lives. In doing so, we not only find clarity and joy but also forge a life imbued with deep meaning and purpose—a life where the big rocks define our landscape, surrounded by the pebbles and sand, all enriched by the spaces between and the water that flows, reminding us of the beauty in balance, the power of pause, and the essential nature of adaptability in our journey.

Simone Fulmer Gaus is a personal injury lawyer in Oklahoma City, who has headed her own law firm since 2014.