Reverting to the me

Or... five reasons why I left a high paying, high status job

After eight years in a high status, high paying job, I’m leaving to start on my own as an independent.

No... I wasn’t fired — I wish the decision had been that easy.

There were lots of factors that contributed to the move.

midlife

Firstly, I’m turning 50. Eight years in the one job, albeit the best job ever, seems like a good amount of time. I can’t get stale (on top of already chalking up pale and male). For me, organizational life feels like it could become a gateway drug to mediocrity. It might in the end turn out that it would have been cheaper for me to buy a sports car and binge out on cocaine for a few months. I might still try that option, but in the interim I decided to pour my life savings into a new phase of my career. Keepin’ it real.

learning

Although I was always learning at the World Economic Forum, after eight years, my learning curve was tailing off. The return on learning is going to be bigger outside the organization than in it, for me and for my clients. I’m really looking forward to working with a whole series of different teams to apply what I’ve learned and help them do what they do better. What we did at the Forum was magic, and that the things I learned there will be valuable for others who have similar ambitions. Working with a variety of teams will provide the basis for new and exciting ideas that will become ventures. And, as an independent, I need to find ways to keep current, instead of relying on my subordinates to do it for me. Clearly I’ve read too many motivational blogs.

organizational life

There are brilliant things about working in a big organization. Achieving big things. Building an awesome team with amazing people. Playing with big toys. Working to build a global premium brand. Status. That delicious feeling of security (sometimes stronger than others). A salary.

There are also many things to dislike about organizational life. Here are some of them:

1. Meetings. Kill me now. Oftentimes I would sit in a meeting, say, a regular senior leadership meeting with, maybe, eight people… look around and add up the estimated hourly earnings of the participants in the room, times length of meeting: “This is a seven thousand dollar meeting”, I’d think to myself. How could we be more productive?
2. Management. Business school is designed to take people who are good at something specialist and turn them into generalists - managers and leaders. Oftentimes one wonders if being a specialist isn't more satisfying. It is great to lead a team that is achieving great things. And at the same time, the business of management - setting goals, weekly updates, organizing other people's work, is just is not my my favourite thing. For a little while at least, I'd think I'll enjoy managing my own work.
3. Politics. Corridor conversations. Misinterpreted fragments of gossip. Insecurity and competition. Turf wars. Backstabbing. I didn’t say I was bad at it. Just that I don’t like it. [insert big ironic wink emoji here]

Other things that didn’t sit well with me: not being able to work to my own productivity rhythm; impostor syndrome; hierarchy; having a boss; wearing a suit… which takes me to:

independence

I’ve been an independent entrepreneur before — for the 12 years before starting at the Forum — and it suits me (at least it used to). Yes, it’s been awesome to know that whatever kind of month I’ve had, on the 25th there’ll be a fat chunk of cash deposited into my bank account. And at the same time that feels kind of lazy too. I’m aware that as an independent, some months will be fat, and some lean. I’m doing everything I can to make the fatter months fatter and the leaner months go away. And that seems less lazy than hitching my wagon to a big organization and hanging on like crazy.

Then there’s all the good stuff about independence like not having to go into an office; being able to work all night and sleep all day if I so choose; wearing slippers instead of shoes and a tank top not a tie.

“The idea of freedom is inspiring. But what does it mean? If you are free in a political sense but have no food, what’s that? The freedom to starve?”

―  Angela Y. Davis

That said, self-unemployment is a mental game with which I am familiar. I’ll write more about this in the future.

time to build something

Lastly, I want to build something. Fifty now, when I’m sixty, or sixty five, or seventy or whenever… I’d like to have something to sell to show for my work. My business is just me now, but soon, there will be more of us, and I hope to apply some of those management skills I’ve honed at the Forum to helping others achieve self actualization, or at least pay some people a salary. One day, I’d like to host a nine thousand dollar meeting, and at the end of it, think: “that was worth every penny”.

Being part of an amazing organization, building a fantastic team, designing and building a digital powerhouse, growing and learning everyday. Leading the digital, video and editing teams at the World Economic Forum has been a once in a lifetime opportunity for which I will be always grateful and humbled. At the same time, I never felt comfortable as a senior executive, I never settled in to the role of company man.

Reclaiming my independence, I’m just reverting to the me.

Thanks for reading all the way to the end! In the new year I’ll be building regular information products — if you’d like to be kept in the loop…

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