Reversing the Accidental Adversarial Relationship Between Generations

Have you ever felt frustrated working with a generation other than your own? Have you ever heard things such as "Those Millennials are SO entitled and expect to be given an award for everything!" or maybe you have heard "Those Baby Boomers are totally stuck in their ways and unwilling to learn new technology!" Regardless of what you may or may not have heard about various generations, one thing is clear, there is an accidental adversarial relationship between various generations.

This became clear to me when I was recently asked to give a talk to a leadership team about how to better integrate their Millennials into their office. One thing that has come up in any talk that I have given on intergenerational workforces is the frustration of a lack of loyalty of employees. When I speak to a room full of Baby Boomers, the Boomers will often lament the lack of committment Millennials have to a company.

As Millennial myself, I have seen the same thing with my parents. They were loyal to the company they worked with for all or most of their career. My theory is that when the 2008 "Great Recession" hit and many Millennial children saw their Boomer parents loose the jobs they had worked so diligently at keeping for 20+ years, Millennials became cynical about corporate America, and decided to do the opposite. They decided to do whatever they needed to look out for priority #1, themselves. And can you blame them?

Let me be clear, I am not saying that all Millennials or all Baby Boomers are the same. I am suggesting that a large group of each generation made a choice in that moment. That choice has had and will continue to have lasting implications on what the future of work will look like.

I recently had futurist and best-selling author, who happens to be a Millennial expert, Alexandra Levin on my "Get Yourself the Job" Radio show (click HERE for the full episode). In the episode we delved into what really matters to Generations Y (Millenials) and Z. Alexandra also shared how 60% of our jobs will be impacted in some way by technology and that we all need to think about revamping our skills to remain relevant in the AI driven job market of the future.

So what can we do about this? How can we bring haromony amongst generations and fix this "us vs. you" mentality? It all begins with communication. The first step to creating an integrated intergenerational workplace is to look at one's own communication style. To check and see if your communication is landing in the way that you intend, look at your results. Are you producing the numbers that you want to see (if in a customer facing or sales role), and most importantly, what do your retention rates look like?

If you are noticing poor sales numbers and/or poor retention rates, I would invite you to consider that your communication style could have room for improvement.

How can we learn to communicate more effectively for greater retention and productivity?

1. Soften your language. This was the first thing my business coach, Julien Adler, taught me years ago when I was losing team members fasters than I could count. He suggested that I begin to pause before writing a memo or an email, and then re-write whatever I was working on coming from a place of curiousity and openness. An example of a prior reactive email I might have sent before I learned this technique was "Why didn't you get that resume to our client when you said you would yesterday?" Instead, Julien taught me to respond with something to the effect of "Thanks so much for your help with this client. Can we chat when you have time about the status of the client's need?"
2. Clarify. When we are working with anyone, regardless of generation or position, it is important to remember that all good communication begins with a process of clarification. This builds on the first idea of clear communication. Ask questions regarding what is expected. It is only through clarity that we will be able to clearly deliver on what is being asked or on what we are asking others to accomplish.
3. Listen for solutions. I recently had Mike Abrashoff on my show (click HERE for the full episode) about his best-selling book "It's your Ship." In the episode, Mike shared an example of a young man on his ship who everyone was frustrated with because the young sailor was always complaining. Rather than ignoring the man, Mike went to lunch with him and listened deeply to the man's frustrations. In doing so, the young man was able to offer a solution to something that was costing the Navy hundreds of unnecessary hours of manpower each year, and eventually this young man's solution changed the way that the Navy handled all of their ships. Sometimes priceless solutions can come in the most unexpected places if you are open to listen to them.
4. Give feedback in an empowering way. The best way to give an individual feedback from any generation is "What I loved that you did was X. What I would love to see more of is Y." When we give critical feedback nitpicking what we don't like that someone did, we shut down the other person's self expression.
5. Finally, give appreciation. Traditionalists, Baby Boomers and Gen Xer's grew during a time where they were given little to no appreciation and therefor were not taught to give appreciation in return. Dr. Paul White, who has been a guest on my show (click HERE for the most recent episode) several times about his best-selling book with Dr. Gary Chapman "The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People," shared that people in the workplace now leave jobs not due to bad managers, but due to lack of appreciation. A great exercise I learned from Dr. White about creating greater retention and happiness in the workplace is to ask your colleagues, your superios and the people you supervise:

What type of appreciation do you prefer to receive (ie. words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, or physical touch such as a high five)?

Award-winning and best-selling author on Millennials, Mark Perna, who joined me in May of last year on my show (click HERE for the episode), shared that the most important thing about working with future generations is understanding their WHY.

When you connect to what matters to a Millenial or Gen Z person and help them understand their WHY, you will be able to better understand them and to create a healthier, happier working relationship.