Reuniting with Old Friends at Work

Want to know what executives are all talking about right now? Here is a summary of conversations happening all over the country:

“So when are you re-opening your offices?”

“I’m not sure. What are you doing?”

“I don’t know yet either. Are you bringing everyone back full-time or part-time?”

“I can’t decide. I know we need to be together, but I’m not sure I can get everyone back.”

Survey after survey is validating what I hear from nearly every business leader I speak with – CEOs of companies that have been virtual over the past 15 months see that the strength of their culture has declined. They know their teams need to be together, but they aren’t sure how and when to do it.

CEOs of companies that have been virtual over the past 15 months see that the strength of their culture has declined. They know their teams need to be together, but they aren’t sure how and when to do it.

According to Gallup, employee engagement peaked last April during the nationwide lockdown amid a national sense of camaraderie and gratefulness among those who weren’t furloughed or downsized. There was excitement as people figured out how to have virtual happy hours and other meetups to sustain their friendships with co-workers. But like all long-distance relationships, soon the novelty of remote communication began wearing off and the length of separation led to less and less personal interaction. Co-workers became people that I exchange information with to accomplish as task, no longer key friendships that are part of my life. Engagement has declined ever since.

For many years, companies trying to measure employee satisfaction and engagement have asked some form of the question, “Do you have a close friend at work?” It turns out that having friends at work is an indicator of engagement because it is a sign of a strong culture. When people are aligned on the values and beliefs that define a culture they tend to get along well.

It turns out that having friends at work is an indicator of engagement because it is a sign of a strong culture.

Culture is the atmosphere that comes from the decisions a group makes in accomplishing its purpose. It’s how people know what to do and what not to do as a part of the group. Culture is rarely taught, it is almost always picked up through interaction, experience and hearing stories that give the context to understand why the people in that culture do the things that they do.

So, what happens when members of a group have less opportunity to interact? How do they identify the common values that unite them, understand the beliefs that guide their actions, and experience the practices that shape their decisions?

This is what leaders all around the country are feeling right now. Intuitively, they feel their culture is weakening because they are seeing a lack of understanding on how and why their team does the things it does. And they see the breakdown in the friendships among team members that are almost inevitable in a strong culture.

I have two suggestions for leaders who are considering how, when or even whether they resume in-person interaction as a part of their work practices:

• First, start by considering how important a strong culture is to the success of your business and how that culture is best spread in your group. This isn’t to say that every business must be in person to be successful; I know many good businesses that were completely virtual even before the pandemic. But regardless of how and where you work, you must be purposeful about how you give people the opportunity to learn and grow culture.
• Second, whatever decision you make, communicate to your team the beliefs behind the plan before you communicate the particulars. If someone disagrees with your beliefs, then they won’t like the plan and may leave anyway. But if they agree with the philosophy behind your decision then they are more likely to give the new plan a try.

Many leaders are fearful of the response to announcing that they are going back to the office. They are fighting against the inertia of new routines and, as we all know, most people despise change. But more powerfully, many people have lost the relationships with co-workers that were once an important part of their lives. But as we have all experienced, relationships can be renewed. Give people a chance to re-discover their friends at work and watch your culture come back alive.