Returning to work following a Bereavement

The reason for this blog is that Mum passed away suddenly in August 2018 and alongside sympathy, Management said “don’t worry, or even think about work”. I have never seen anyone talk about this subject, let alone share their personal story to help others.

Going back to work after a bereavement is a scary step to take for many. Bereavements affect everyone differently and impact peoples work in different ways.

I had a few meetings and calls before returning to work full time as for me, I wanted a distraction and to throw myself into work the best I could. Some people opt for a staged return, reduce to part time hours if this suits the employer and others decide to find a new job role that is perhaps less stressful or more “enjoyable”. Everyone re-evaluates their life and choices during and following a bereavement which leads to various changes and decisions impacting their career.

Preparing to return to work is daunting, what do I say? and what do I tell people if they ask where I’ve been? Have an upfront chat with your employer about what it is that they can do for you to help that return easier.

Before you go back to work, you can speak to your manager so that you feel prepared. It can help to know what your colleagues have been told about why you have been off work. Ask your manager to pass on any information that you would like your colleagues to know. If you want to, you can also tell them about anything you do or don't want them to say. For example, you might want to let them know it's ok to for people to ask you how you are.

How do I react if I get upset or experience other emotions at work? Again, this is something to discuss before returning to work so you can discuss the best way for you and your employer to deal with this. Many will take a short break for some fresh air; others go into a meeting room or perhaps choose to work from home.

Rutherford Briant, management and colleagues at the time couldn’t have been more supportive. During the time I was wanting to progress and develop which ultimately, I put on the back burner to make sure I was in the right mindset for when I was ready to increase pressure and workload.

I felt comfortable to talk about the event and happy memories from before the time, along with being confident in explaining my feelings to my manager around work. Don’t get me wrong, I had my moments where the motivation for work was lacking, which is when you can focus on what you enjoy most about your work.

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You HAVE to celebrate the small wins too, whether you’ve made a sale, you’ve completed that first client call on returning or even that you made a cracking cup of tea for the office, find happiness in the smallest things. It is surprising how much it can help your mood and help you through the day.

Step 1, notify your employer as soon as you feel ready to explain the event (in as many words as you feel comfortable)

Step 2, when ready to return to work, discuss how you AND your employer plan your return

Step 3, see what support you can receive upon returning to work

Step 4, make the most of being with those around you and try to celebrate the small wins

Step 5, Remember, its ok, not to be ok. In a business with a strong support network and close-knit team, things will work out as long as you give it time and effort

Hopefully those who have taken the time to read through the above will be able to resonate with my story and I really hope your employers have been as good as Rutherford Briant. Feel free to reach out to me to discuss anything in more detail and if you have not received the above experience, also happy to discuss the next steps you can take.

Thank you.