Returning to work after Parental Leave

Do I go back? Do I stay at home?!….. The age old question asked by so many parents every day. You can read all the books to prepare you but until your baby arrives, no one can prepare you on how much your life will change and how much you will change as a person.

When pregnant with my first child, I had my flexible working pattern arranged before I left on maternity leave and a ?nursery place secured! I was definitely coming back to work or so I thought. As time went by and I had completed a few KIT days, I decided to leave and be a full time stay at home mum. Then along came my daughter. When she turned a year old, that was it… I had to get back to work! ?I just needed that little bit of me back…..I needed the challenge, the talk with adults, the interaction. I worked hard in my career and I wanted it back again.

It took some jiggling with Grandparents, the nursery and my husband’s work pattern but together we found a schedule that allowed me to return to work.

Microsoft have provided me with incredible support since returning to work. I have a four day working week. Our culture allows us to be the best us. The flexible working approach we have means that if I need to log off a little early to pick up one of my little darlings, I can. If I am caught in traffic in the nursery run, I’m not sat there panicking and sweating because that isn’t the way we work here at Microsoft. The opportunity to work for Microsoft empowered me to return to work.

On my third day, the nursery rang me as my daughter had a temperature. I had to pick her up. I immediately started stressing out and negative thoughts started to overwhelm me. “What will my boss say” “its only your third day” “you are a bad mum, you shouldn’t be working”. When I just calmed down, I spoke to my manager. She told me to log off, go get her and not to worry. Of course, a dose of calpol later and little lady was fine running around like a hooligan. My manager text me that night to check how my daughter was. And that was when I knew I had made the right decision to return to work, how incredibly lucky I was to have a manager like this and work for an organization that genuinely cares.

Myself and my family all came down with Covid before Christmas and the support from my team over that period was phenomenal. This is when you really begin to utilize and appreciate a flexible working approach. During isolation, there were times in the day that my children needed me, so I logged on in the evening and made the time up. This meant that I could keep on top of my workload, and look after my children.

I wanted to share a few of my learnings after returning to work after an extended period:

Be kind to yourself: ?It will seem overwhelming at first. You are back talking to real life adults and talking about subject matters that are not your children. Even sitting down at a desk for a long time might seem a bit strange. Embrace it, enjoy it and allow yourself some settling in time. KIT days are such a good way to ease yourself back into work and start talking the work jargon with your colleagues again. Have an informal chat with your manager and colleagues before you officially start.

Breathe: If baby has gone to nursery with a bit of porridge down him, it doesn’t matter. If your tie has a bit of baby sick on it, it doesn’t matter. Nothing is perfect. The best thing to do if things are beginning to feel a bit overwhelming is take some deep breaths and say to yourself – does this really matter!? Nerves are totally normal. Remember you have simply added to your skillset whilst being on parental leave. Anything you did before, you can still do. Probably even better!!

Set your boundaries: However much we try, we can only keep so many plates spinning in the air at one time. If you need to log off by 5, do it. If you know you can’t make that meeting, be honest. You will be amazed at how supportive and flexible people will be if you are open and honest.

Try not to feel guilty: Its natural to feel guilty. Especially if your child threw an award winning performance when you left them at your childcare. Try to leave the guilt at the door. If your child is in a nursery, they are playing with toys, learning having fun. If they are with a childminder, they are playing with toys, learning having fun. If they are with family or friends, they are playing with toys, learning, having fun……you get where I am going with this. IT IS OK to be a parent and have a career.

Don’t sacrifice your own wellbeing: After a few months working again I realized that everyone was thriving, my son loving preschool, my daughter loving nursery. But I had not completed a work out for nearly two months. I have always enjoyed exercise and have used it for stress and relaxation for as long as I can remember. So this Christmas, I rejoined my local gym and tomorrow I shall be cleaning the dust off my peloton (I wish I was joking) and having a spin. Find that bit of time just for you

Enjoy it – “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” Ok, I know this sentiment can be seen as a bit OTT – but do enjoy returning to work. Embrace the quiet time (obviously job dependent) hot drinks and the challenge. Not every day is going to be a good one! But as long as it is mostly enjoyable, it is definitely worth it.

Don’t overshare: Remember that not everyone wants to see pics or hear stories of your baby. Parental leave can often be spent mostly with other parents and talking about bowel movements and food. Of course if people ask, go ahead and show off those baby pics with pride! But just remember there is a time and a place!!

To summarize, being a working parent makes me a better parent. I am so glad I returned to the workplace and will be forever grateful to be able to work for an organization such as Microsoft that offers this culture. If you are looking for an opportunity after a period of leave please do check out our careers website Careers at Microsoft | Microsoft jobs or please send me a direct message and I would be happy to talk to you.

If you are in that conundrum at the moment wondering whether to return to work or stay at home, all I can say to you is… follow your heart!