RETURNING TO SCHOOL AFTER A TRAGEDY

Going Back to School After a Tragedy

When tragedy strikes a school community — whether it’s a death at your child’s school or a loss of life so horrific that it affects us all, like the shootings at Uvalde, Texas — the prospect of sending kids back to school can be daunting. But it’s an important milestone, because it is essential that children get back into ordinary routines after hearing disturbing and frightening news. Children find comfort in the familiar, and going back to school and any after-school activities helps build healthy, resilient children.

But after an event like a school shooting, some kids might be hesitant about going back to school. Here are some tips for helping kids and teens worried about going back:

Take Your Cues From Your Child

Invite your child to tell you how they feel about going back to school. Don’t ask leading questions — “Are you worried about going back to school?” — but do give them an opportunity to express what’s on their mind. Assuming you’ve discussed the shooting, you might ask if they expect to discuss it at school, or whether they expect any school activities relating to it.

Give Them Ample Opportunity To Ask Questions

It’s reassuring to children, and helps diminish frightening fantasies, to express what they’re worried about. If your child is thinking that their classroom may no longer be — or feel — safe, it’s good to listen to those fears.

Acknowledge Their Feelings, But Remain Calm

Reassure children that they are safe. Validate their feelings. Explain that all feelings are okay when a tragedy occurs. When we talk with each other about tragic events it helps us. While each of us is affected in a different way it is through our caring relationships that we find the support to bare the pain and to heal.

Let children talk about their feelings, help put them into perspective, and assist them in expressing these feelings appropriately. Make time to talk. Let their questions and age be your guide as to how much information to provide. Be patient; youth do not always talk about their feelings readily. Watch for clues that they may want to talk, such as hovering around while you do the dishes or yard work. Some children prefer writing, playing music, or doing an art project as an outlet. Young children may need concrete activities (such as drawing, looking at picture books, or imaginative play) to help them identify and express their feelings.

Emphasize School Safety

Remind your child that their school is a very safe place, filled with teachers and other adults who love children and have dedicated their lives to helping them. Remind them of the drills and policies already in place to keep students safe.

Give Extra Reassurance

Don’t be surprised if your child is unusually clingy or needy, and do be prepared to slow your morning routines and be physically affectionate and comforting.

Listen When They Are Not Talking

Be on the lookout for nonverbal cues indicating anxiety. The 13-year-old who hasn’t asked you about the event but who has seen the images, and whose sleep and eating habits have changed after the tragedy, may need to have a conversation — even if they aren’t asking in words.

Know Who Else Can Help

Teachers and school counselors will be ready to help children with any concerns they might have while they are in school. Encourage your child to talk to them if they are feeling overwhelmed on the first day back or later in the week. Let them know that it’s fine to bring the subject up again to you or anyone else if they have questions or feelings they want to share later.

Crisis Hotlines (24/7, FREE, Confidential)

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Information About Grief

• The Dougy Center

We can all help prevent suicide. For more information on warning signs and risk factors:

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
• "How We Can All Prevent Suicide"

If you are interested in locating mental health/counseling services for you or a loved one, below are some helpful places to start:

Insurance Provider?

• Your insurance company can assist in locating mental health providers covered in your plan. You can call the number on the back of your insurance card as well as visit your insurance's website. This will provide resources that are directly covered by your insurance.

Mental Health & Counseling Services

• Psychology Today provides a database of local therapists, psychiatrists, treatment centers, and support groups
• APA Practice Organization Psychologist Locator
• The National Association of Free Clinics
• Disaster Distress Helpline

How to Use Psychology Today to find a Mental Health Provider?

1. Visit psychologytoday.com
2. Click on Find a Therapist??
3. Use the drop down to identify what you are looking for:?

• Therapists - mental health providers that provide counseling??
• Psychiatrists - mental health provider that prescribes medication??
• Treatment Centers - specialized facilities to address substance abuse, eating disorders, inpatient treatment, etc.?
• Support Groups - individuals with similar challenges that meet together with a mental health provider?

1. Enter the City or Zip Code where you would like to find a provider.??
2. The search will generate a list of providers. You can use the tabs to narrow your search. For example, you could click on insurance and identify that you have United Health
3. Click on More and there will be options to identify preferences with language, ethnicity and others.??
4. Click on providers from the results to learn more about them, their practice, costs, insurances accepted, etc.??
5. Once you find a provider, contact them via phone or email to make an appointment. Some providers will provide a free consultation to see if it is a good match.??

Please note there are a variety of professions that are able to provide therapy such as Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC), LMSW (Licensed Master Social Workers), Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT).?

No matter what keep lines of communication open with you kids.