Return of a Top Voice

Collaborative articles might be something you enjoy responding to. I decided to respond to one. Instead of receiving a badge I opened a rift in the space time continuum. She's back.

"Oh my God. I went down for plastic surgery. How long was I out?"

"Almost ten years. Hey, aren't you Joan Rivers?"

"Yes. I hope Twitter hasn't destroyed comedy. I'm ready to perform."

"Actually-Twitter has lost a lot of revenue and is not the force it once was. I'm sad to say antisemitism still runs rampant there."

"Then I know I'm not in Heaven."

"We are here now, Joan. Are you my badge?"

"Badge? What is this, The Old West? Where's your article on Blazing Saddles?"

"I have things to say about that. Mel's still around. Carl passed a couple years ago."

"We don't live forever. Ideas can. Is there peace in The Middle East?"

"The exact opposite. With hostages taken in Israel on October 7 some call today "October 86."

"My views on Israel should be obvious. What have I missed since I was out? Am I a ghost? That's one way to lose weight."

"No, Joanie, you look solid to me. A colleague was doing electrical work at QVC, you walked past and he said you had a nice conversation."

"I wish more people took time to talk with regular people. Is there a way to see what I missed?"

"Well, through the magic of LinkedIn there is a new feature that shows highlights from the last ten years. Taylor Swift has had at least twelve boyfriends."

"Why would anyone start that? And why can't she finish a relationship? I'll watch this and be back with commentary. Remember- I'm out of practice so it's like working jokes out in clubs, not the performance in a concert hall."

"I have said the same about LinkedIn articles."

"Thomas, only the deceased read those."

Joan returns after seeing a montage of the world becoming less polite.

"Donald Trump was President?"

"Hard to believe."

"I bet Hillary Clinton ignored Wisconsin and Michigan."

"Pretty much."

"Donald was nice to me on Celebrity Apprentice. He mostly cared about himself and his brand."

"Personal branding is a hot topic now."

"It seems like there are politicians who became worse. Who was this George Santos?"

"He is a disgraced politician kicked out of Congress."

"You have to be lower than low to get kicked out of Congress! Taking campaign money for Botox? Even I didn't use Botox."

"Some probably wish George Santos's throat would close so he couldn't talk."

"If his lips were moving he was lying. He said he was a Brazilian drag queen? A fat guy in a bad sweater- even Divine had better fashion sense."

"I still recall Divine and have mostly forgotten George Santos."

"John Waters made films with integrity! He could use George Santos in a movie."

"That's right. John Waters said if he were to put nudity in a film it would be people you wish would put their clothes on."

"Just like the disgraced Representative. After seeing his backside the only endorsement deal he will get is from The International House of Pancakes."

"Joan, there has been a void in your absence. I guess something good came out of collaborative articles."

"I wish I could have come back on a more adult site so I could get dirty."

"You work well and if I answer another collaborative article can I get George Carlin back?"

"Don't press your luck!"