Retiring at 23 ?!

“I am retired” these words sound so strange coming from a 23 year old. But it is what it is when your are a professional athlete, especially one competing in gymnastics. These days whenever people ask me what I am doing, I find myself telling them that I am a recently retired athlete finally pursuing my education. I have come to expect people gasping at the fact that I say I am retired even though I am so young. But yes, I can finally say that I have retired, after being in a constant state of uncertainty in 2021. This was not a decision that I took over night. It took me a long time to even admit that I was thinking of retiring. Even then it was not until months later that I finally stopped training. The transition was not an easy one. I was gonna lose something that had been such a huge part of me for almost half of my life. Gymnastics had become my whole identity. I did not know who I was with out gymnastics.?

”I am retired” sounds very strange when it comes from a 23 year old.         

I felt as though I were going through the most painful breakup ever. And in a way it was a break up. Gymnastics was my one true love and the most important relationship I had in my entire life. Breaking up with the people I dated prior was not as bad as this. Everytime I saw something related to gymnastics I would burst into tears. I remember a day, almost 6 months after I stopped, I found my apparatus and my leotards that my mom kept, ( by this point she had sold most of my stuff ) I stared at them for 10 mins, completely zoned out, before I finally burst out in tears.?

It wasn’t until I went to see the commonwealth games in Birmingham, that I got some closure. I was unsure if I should go, because I knew that if I went I would most definitely have a breakdown. But in the end I went. As painful as it was being there, I was so glad I went. It was exactly what I needed to move past the pain and trauma. Being there and finally accepting the reality, helped me move on, and focus on what I want to do in the future.?

Sure there were a lot more things I wanted to achieve in the sport. But sitting here, now, and looking back I am proud of everything I accomplished. I know I made the impact I set out to make, and when asked if I would do it all again, Hell ya I would !?