Retirement Planning As a Couple

I have shared a lot of information over the past several months around retirement planning, but the one thing I haven't talked about is how to approach the subject when you are part of a couple.

It doesn't matter if you are the same age and will retire at the same time or different ages and one person will retire first - the act of retirement will affect you both.

It is vitally important to talk to each other about that transition before it happens.

My husband and I have talked about how much we love to travel and started getting a bit more specific about the details. We have started to talk about when he should retire, but we haven't landed on a specific date. We have talked about possible hobbies to pursue together and some ideas for things for my husband to do.

There are still a lot of things we haven't talked about.

• How will we make financial decisions?
• How much time will we spend together? Apart?
• What responsibilities will we have around the house? How will that change?
• What do we need to plan for our medical and health concerns?

These are not necessarily easy conversations to have, so how do we start?

4 Steps to Having Hard Conversations

Those that know me, know that I am a conflict avoidance person. I want everyone to be happy and just get along - so initiating conversations where I anticipate some 'spirited' discussion is hard for me.

In reading the book "The couples Retirement Puzzle" I came across a method to have these conversations that seems to work pretty well for us.

1. Start the conversation: Plan ahead for a time and place to discuss one topic. Listen to each other and remember this is not about who is right or wrong. This is about building a future where you both are happy.
2. Communicate Clearly: Express yourself honestly and clearly. Use "I" statements and avoid words like always or never.
3. Be a good listener: Focus on what your partner is saying, not on how you want to respond. Don't interrupt and 'mirror back' what they said to be sure you accurately understand.
4. Compromise: Find some common ground and work from there to find win-win solutions. The goal is to find a solution that everyone can live with.

The decisions made during these discussions are not written in stone. Don't be afraid to table the conversation if you reach an impasse. With some time and further consideration, a new solution may present itself.

We are still a couple of years away from my husband retiring and I am sure we will continue to have these kinds of discussion even after he retires from his current job.

The most important thing is to have open, ongoing, honest communication.

Can you imagine failing at retirement? Wasting the first few and most valuable years of it trying to figure out who you are - or worse, succumbing to the dark side of retirement?

Nobody plans for that to happen, and I definitely don't want it to happen to you. Which is why I am excited to share that I have scheduled 4 sessions of Planning for Your Un-Retirement.

The first is a virtual event on Monday, January 15 @ 9:00 am CT on my Facebook Page.

The next 3 events are in person through the local community education . (You do need to sign up for the in-person events ahead of time.)

Most people take steps to think about and plan for the financial aspects, but often haven't take the time to plan for the non-financial factors like replacing their work identity, staying connected as well as keeping mentally and physically fit.

My program will help you think about and prepare for retirement like never before.