Retirement Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be (Actually, It’s Much Worse)

It has 20+ of life’s most stressful events

Ahhhh…the retirement years.

Relax. Enjoy. Do what you want to do.

A life of ease, fun and joy.

Right? Not necessarily.

People are falling into the trap of this assumption.

Leading to more and more retirees saying they’re “failing in retirement.”

After a year or so of the retirement “honeymoon,” they find themselves in a retirement “nightmare.”

And they’re stressed.

According to the Holmes & Rahe Stress Scale, at least 20 of the top 43 stress-producing life events can happen during our retirement years.

Some of these can happen at any time, but the risks or consequences tend to be greater the older we get.

There are even more stressors in olderhood that aren’t on this scale (which I will share shortly).

The purpose of sharing this with you is to break through the myths and provide you with ways to avoid or mitigate these problems.

So that instead, you can have an amazing olderhood.

Here are the 20 top stressors (and note that retirement is #10).

#1) Death of a spouse

A harsh reality that you may live alone and be without your partner for some of your olderhood.

#2) Divorce

Divorce rates for people over 55 in the U.S. have doubled since 1990 and tripled for those over 65.

It’s a global trend too. Olderhood/retirement is an entirely new phase of life and reality. Many couples are not prepared to handle the dramatic changes.

#5) Death of a close family member

As we get older, those we grew up with start dying.

#6) Personal Injury or illness

There is a higher likelihood in olderhood of illness and age-related diseases. Also, a loss of purpose, relevance, self-identity and fulfillment impacts physical, mental and emotional health leading to decline.

#8) Fired because of your age

There is a major trend of people continuing to work after retirement age out of desire or financial necessity.

Yet, according to a study by ProPublica and the Urban Institute, more than half of older U.S.?workers are pushed out of their jobs before they choose to retire.

#10) Retirement

Yes, the 10th?most stressful event in life is retirement in and of itself.

#11) Change in the health of a family member

There’s a higher probability of a life-changing illness among spouses and family members.

#13) Sexual difficulties

As we age, all kinds of things change. Be prepared for them and be aligned with your partner.

#16) Change in financial status.

Not enough funds, unexpected costs, loss of income, etc.

#17) Death of a close friend

Many good friends are also getting older.

#18) Change to a different line of work

See #16. Challenges to find work, pivoting to something new such as solopreneurship or other sources of income or volunteerism.

#19) Change in number of arguments with spouse

See #2. Many couples do not plan for life and relationship changes. Conflicts and misalignment can be significant and unexpected.

#20) A large mortgage or loan

Debt and potentially less or no income.

#23) Son or daughter leaving home

It’s a major life change for parents and the loss of what’s been a major part of their life for decades.

Couples can also lose their relationship identity with each other as parents.

There’s also the stress of children being out on their own (and not always doing what you think they should do…AKA worry).

#26) Spouse begins or stops work

See #2, #16, #19 and #23. Changes in routine, roles, activities and expectations.

#28) Change in living conditions

From spending significantly more time with your partner to aging parents or adult kids coming back home, physical disabilities that require special care, etc.

#29) Revision of personal habits

Your life, habits, routines and personal activity can change dramatically and if married can disrupt partners routines as well.

These habits will range from positive to neutral to disruptive (e.g., alcoholism, drug abuse and depression, which are on the rise with recent retirees).

#32) Change in residence

Downsizing/re-locating.

#36) Change in social activities

While people think they will do more, they mays eventually do less and with fewer friends. Professional relationships also wane or disappear. As with all phases of life, interests and opportunities change.

#40) Change in eating habits

Stressors can cause overeating; illnesses can require dietary changes.

All of these are significant, life-changing and potentially life-ruining stressors and challenges that very few people are aware of, let alone plan to avoid or prepare for.

Some of it is just life happening. Some of it is because people let them happen by not being aware and prepared.

There’s more…

This ain’t your grandparent’s retirement years.

For us in the modern age, this phase of life needs to go way beyond playing more golf or bridge.

It has to because that’s not good enough anymore.

Olderhood is now a whole new life phase, as identified by the Stanford Center of Longevity, which developed a New Life Map to include it.

The map embraces the Longevity Revolution, in which we can live healthy, active, purposeful, and independent lives well beyond the statistical lifespan average.

Taking moderately good care of yourself (exercise, nutrition, relationships, purpose, etc.) can help you make olderhood some of the best years of your life.

Also, we have the need to be relevant, fulfilled, self-determinant, and have higher expectations for our lives than our ancestors did.

When we lose all or a lot of that, we suffer mentally, emotionally and physically.

A recent survey by the Retirement Coaches Association shows a trend of people being dissatisfied and unhappy in retirement due to:

·????? Lack of fulfillment

·????? Lack of relevance

·????? Lace of purpose

·????? Loss of self-identity.

Years ago, as I was entering my olderhood, I did my homework and discovered all of this.

I, like a growing number of people, decided I was not going to fail at retirement.

I wasn’t going to choose traditional retirement (although, for some people, that’s perfect).

I view this phase of life as MY TURN.

It’s my turn to transform my life into something ideal that gives me fulfillment, relevance, purpose, great health, and joy in ways that are right for me and only me.

I’ve earned it. So have you.

Sign me up!

There are two things you can do to avoid or be better prepared for these stressors in your olderhood and pursue a life that’s ideal for you.

1.??????? Awareness

As I mentioned, one of the best things I ever did in my whole life was to stop, step back, do my homework and thoroughly consider what I wanted to do in this phase of life and what I wanted my life to be like…in every way (health, relationships, fun, purpose, income, community, etc.).

That’s how I discovered these stressors and so many other realities and new possibilities.

When we assume and presume, we set ourselves up for failure and misery.

Awareness leads to opportunities and avoidance or mitigation of potential problems.

2.??????? Discover

This awareness now sets you up to discover that ideal life for you.

The older you are, the better because you know about yourself, life and the world.

When you put everything on the table, ranging from likes, dislikes, desires and needs and then push past old or false self-limiting beliefs, the ideal possibilities avail themselves.

You explore, research and discover. ?

Putting in the effort is why I’m not “failing in retirement.

Instead, I am thriving in my olderhood.

Care to join me?

You can take the Holmes & Rahe Stress Scale Inventory by clicking here. You can apply it to your current life or project to your life in olderhood.

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