Rethinking New Year’s Resolutions

?? Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fail

The start of a new year often brings an avalanche of resolutions and goals. This January, I watched the LinkedIn feed fill with declarations of change, ambition, and growth and I felt a profound sense of relief.

I’ve never been one to set New Year’s resolutions. I believe the best time to set personal goals is when they feel deeply resonant, not when society tells us to. (Perhaps it’s my SCARF model bias for Autonomy showing, but I’ve always felt that aligning with my inner rhythm matters far more than external timelines.)

This year, for the first time in over a decade, I didn’t have to set business goals either. As I stepped away from a leadership position, I gained a fresh perspective on why so many resolutions and goals fail and the science behind it is compelling.

?? The Neuroscience of Goal Failure

Did you know 80% of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned by February? The failure isn’t just about discipline, it’s about how we set goals in the first place:

1. Stress and Cortisol Overload

Setting ambitious resolutions on an arbitrary timeline can spike cortisol levels, throwing our nervous system into overdrive. We get a temporary dopamine high (anticipating success) but quickly fall into disappointment and self-induced stress when results don’t come fast enough.

2. Disconnection from Embodied Intelligence

When we notice ourselves procrastinating or struggling to follow through on goals, it’s often a sign of misalignment between our head (ideas), heart (values), and gut (motivation and action). Neuroscience tells us that these three centres of intelligence need to work in harmony for us to feel aligned, motivated, and effective.

The head creates ideas, but if the heart isn’t emotionally invested or the gut doesn’t feel ready to act, we’re left spinning our wheels. Instead of pushing through resistance, tuning into this misalignment can help us adjust our goals or even our approach.

Practical takeaway: If you’re stuck, ask:

• What is my heart telling me about this goal? Does it feel meaningful to me?
• What is my gut saying? Do I feel energised to act, or is something holding me back?

This reflective process reconnects your whole self, paving the way for clarity and momentum.

3. Extrinsic vs Intrinsic Motivation

Research shows that we’re more likely to succeed when our goals align with intrinsic desires and what truly matters to us. Resolutions driven by societal expectations or external pressures often fail to engage this deeper motivation, especially for neurodiverse individuals who thrive on self-chosen rhythms.

?? Lessons from Nature

Nature can offer a profound metaphor for goal-setting: Trees ground and root themselves in winter so they can bloom in spring. They rest, conserve energy, and deepen their foundations to prepare for growth. Same is true of many animals.

What if we did the same? Instead of rushing into lofty ambitions in January, we could use this season to reflect and prepare:

• Macro Rhythm: Consider honouring winter as a time to ground yourself and reconnect with your true desires and let spring mark the season of action.
• Micro Rhythm: Tune into your emotional and physical state each morning, adjusting your “to do” list to align with how you feel and your energy levels. By syncing your tasks with your natural rhythm, you create flow instead of resistance.

?? Shifting from Goals to Standards

One powerful alternative to traditional goals is focusing on standards - commitments to how you want to show up and engage, rather than binary "achieve or fail" outcomes.

For example:

• A Goal: "Lose 5 kilograms by March."
• A Standard: "Move my body every day in a way that feels good."

Standards emphasise ways of being and consistent action, reducing fear of failure while fostering intrinsic motivation. They help us visualise who we are becoming and allow us to celebrate progress without the pressure of perfection.

? Actionable Practice

This month, instead of rushing into action, take time to root yourself. Try this:

1. Pause and Reflect: What truly matters to me this year / in this moment?
2. Align and Connect: How do my values (heart) and motivations (gut) inform my aspirations (head)?
3. Set Standards: What ways of being will support my journey this year / today?

?? Your Thoughts?

I’d love to hear your reflections:

• ?? Do New Year’s resolutions feel motivating or unnecessarily stressful?
• ?? How do you align your personal goals with your natural rhythms?
• ?? How do you notice when your head, heart, and gut are misaligned?

Share your thoughts in the comments, I’d love to start a conversation.

Events and Resources

• Resources: 3 brains alignment guided meditation (5 mins 56 seconds).
• Coaching Availability: I have a few 1:1 coaching slots available for Q1. Book a discovery call here.

Tune into your body intelligence, stay grounded, and live in alignment.

Love,

Dag

P.S. Are you ready to bring your head, heart, and gut into alignment and explore how body-oriented coaching can transform your leadership and life? If you're a tech startup executive or leader curious to take this next step, I’d love to connect. Visit my website dagmaraaldridge.com, email [email protected], or use the ‘Book a Meeting’ button on my LinkedIn profile. Let’s find what is waiting to unfold for you together.