Rethinking Failure

Jamming through a conversation with a bunch of final-year students, I was getting achingly impatient to peek into their future strategies; more importantly, understand their barometer for success. It’s such an interesting phase - these early years. Thoughts are grappling between the optimism of ‘not knowing’, and the harrowing adaptations of the ‘real-world’ projected by high-strung family members. There is an unflinching belief in their personal cause, which comes with an undaunted confidence. All this while, I was thoroughly enjoying the very articulate visions that these kids harbored for their future.

A lanky lad, rather comfortable in his front row corner seat, seemed evidently intrigued by the ongoing exchange of ideas. So, I tilted my next one at him “So buddy, what do YOU have on your mind next?” “Sir, I am very passionate about writing poetry and would like to become a well-known figure someday”, he seemed certain. “So, let me ask you this – If this ‘someday’ happens to come 10 years from today, would you still be as passionate about it?” I darted teasingly. “No way! 1 year is all I can give it”, was his prompt closure to that.

Some words have become an irrevocable part of our vocabulary, not quite supporting the context in which they are used. ‘Passion’ is one such card that gets thrown around quite regularly, yet rather inaccurately. The exact meaning of the word is, A Willingness to Suffer for What You Love, which is where the expression – ‘The Passion of Christ’ finds itself. The word Suffering is the focal point. I often hear aspiring candidates use this as a card to suggest their intense desire for something that excites them to their bones, although not realizing that the feeling is in passing, sometimes out of a specific trigger – like a motivational speech, a movie, even a real life figure.

A recent study across the best B-schools and IITs in India exposed a glaring blindside. Over 85% of the incumbents were found clinically depressed; evidently the stress point was - their future! It further said that they were so conditioned to succeed, and that they literally despised failure.

And so we find, that the very pursuit of success, thwarts success.

What Precedes Success?

In an open-hearted media conversation, Michael Jordan was asked how it felt to be the undisputed best in basketball history. To this, he humbled the audience by talking about anything but his successes. He said. “You have seen me succeed, but I have seen myself fail miserably, and many times over. I have missed over 9000 shots during my early games, before I finally find my sweet spot. And so, I cherish my failures!”

Failure has long been tagged a gruesome stigma; a label that sticks on for many years after an unfavorable result to an ambitious attempt. Parents desirous of seeing their children succeed, caution them to tread safely through paths that have safety nets and Plan Bs at tow, and try hard to spur in them, an urge to succeed fast. In reality however, time and again, the giant apostles of success in any age vouch for the many waves of failures that they swam past, slowly building the muscles, the character and that unmistakable attitude to claim the success that the world now witnesses.

What Stuff is Success Made Of?

The youth today no longer get swayed by those glorious success stories. They are interested in the backstory – the real meat!

They also realize that finding success in one area of your life does not necessarily mean that one is happy. They are now in search for all the ingredients that make up the recipe for a well-rounded, fulfilling life. Steve Jobs, Elon Must and the long line up of such greats, have all compromised on one or more aspects of their lives to make up for one. The aspects that are usually not as glorified on the internet, as the one they exceptionally excelled in. But the next gen can see through this fa?ade.

This brings me to the 5 strong ingredients of a Successful Life:

1.      Using your innate gifts and acting on your purpose

2.      Creating meaningful relationships for life

3.      Creating financial freedom

4.      Serving others

5.      Experiencing the Self, by looking inward

I will elaborate on the above points in a future article, and soon. However, feel free to reach me if you need any immediate insights.

And Finally – What does it take?

And here are 5 clear indicators that you are moving towards the above. When you observe these unique behaviors in someone around you, know that he / she slated to succeed in the truest sense of the word.

1.      Does not get perturbed by failure, instead goes back the drawing board and searches for the embedded lesson in it

2.      Avoids blaming or complaining against others, the society, the government etc. for the failure

3.      Is empathetic to others’ needs and brings the same skill to his aid

4.      Is willing to give it time

5.      Collaborates well with everyone, but not at the expense of being honest