Rethinking Celebration in the Workplace: From Bridal Showers to Boardrooms?

Why is it that when big life events happen, we come together to show support, offer wisdom, and celebrate, but when big work events happen, we treat it as a sink or swim moment?

My sister is getting married. As the matron of honor, I was in charge of throwing the bridal shower and while I admittedly got carried away with the festivities and decor, no one could fault me for it as it was all done to honor and support the bride and the new role she was about to take on. When you really break it down, and I did have to break it down, because my three year old had a lot of questions around why we were having a party about someone having a bath, it’s quite fascinating that the concept of a community coming together to show support is a natural and expected part of society, but only in certain, very specific instances. Said differently, in the workplace, when an individual takes on more responsibility and is presumably under pressure to perform, we don’t really do this, do we? But my question is- what if we did?

Something that happened at my sister’s shower, is that guests were asked to write down their marital advice for the bride and groom. At times humorous, but mostly heartwarming, people from various stages in life took the time to reflect, and offer words of wisdom to the bride, not expecting anything in return, and doing so simply because they wanted her to succeed. Now go back to the individual taking on a new role at work - what if their inner circle both within and outside of their organization, as well as people they may not know directly, but who are friends of people that they were close with, all came together to reflect on their own career experience and share advice, tips, and well wishes. Wouldn’t that be a welcome change? It’s interesting that when achieving personal milestones like getting married or having a child, people are naturally very comfortable offering perspectives and advice - many times unsolicited. And yet when it comes to the professional world, we are generally reluctant to do this. And the question is… why?

One obvious but unfortunate answer is that people sometimes see someone else’s success as a failure of their own. This is the school of thought that hinges upon the notion that there is a pie, and only a limited number of slices to go around. This way of thinking suggests that helping someone else succeed is in essence, halting your own progression. In a lot of ways, this has become somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy, hasn’t it? The idea that there is only one coveted promotion and you OR your competition will get it. And flying in the face of that concept is the well-meaning idea that there is more than enough success to go around, and that we rise by lifting others. To be honest with you, I don’t think either of those fully encapsulates what it means to support one another or achieve your own greatness, and I’ll tell you why - It’s not specific enough.

In Resource Management, because you know I always have to bring it back to RM, the fundamental struggle is that competing priorities exist and there isn’t a simple path to resolution. Any astute RM knows that you need to dig a little deeper to begin to understand where differentiation exists either in the supply or the demand, and that doing so will reveal a path forward. While that may sound a bit fluffy, the important takeaway is simply this - yes, there is enough to go around, but no, it won’t look exactly the same for everyone. Here is what I mean - there is a natural human tendency to feel envious, and while I am not equipped to share a deep perspective on why that is, here is what I do know - a lot of that seems to originate from the idea that someone else gaining something is directly correlated to your inability to achieve the same thing. But this is where I would suggest a different thought process - just as someone else’s successful marriage does not make you any “less married”, someone else’s promotion does not invalidate the good work you do, or your potential to elevate in the future.

So what’s the takeaway? Should we start throwing promotion showers at work? I’m not sure, but if you do, I have an amazing event stylist to recommend. Check out her amazing work here! But I digress, I would encourage us all to get over the spiteful hurdle that seems to appear, uninvited, when we see someone advance in their career, and rather than offering empty words of congratulations, or the obligatory "like", perhaps consider - if this is someone you care for, or someone that someone you care for, cares for- is there something you can do to help them? Is there an introduction you can make? Advice you can offer? A tool you can recommend? Will doing so result in instant gratification in the form of an immediate career benefit for you? Probably not. But maybe, just maybe, that isn’t the point.

Christine Robinson is a Resource Management expert, Strategic Advisor, award-winning speaker, best selling author, and the mother/stepmother of six. Recognized as one of the top leaders in the Philadelphia Business Journal's 40 Under 40 List for her performance and community contributions, Christine is passionate about supporting women and underserved families. She holds an MS in Human Resource Management from Fordham University, a BS in Sociology from Bowling Green University, and is a certified Resource Management Professional.

The former Managing Director and Head of Resource Management at a prestigious accounting and consulting firm, Christine has steered national teams, instituted firmwide functions, and established international joint ventures. As the visionary and Founder of Resource Management In The Wild, her mission is to empower professionals and organizations to successfully navigate resource allocation.

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