Retail Taught Me How to Handle Harsh Feedback. Here's How to Avoid Feeling Like Crap.

I got my ass handed to me more than once, leading retail teams.?

Nothing is ever good enough in the retail business. That's how it feels. Few successes are triumphed, and every failure is scrutinized.?

I led retail teams for over twenty years. By the time I left, I could've been told I was a complete failure, and it would've rolled off me. I was in my business for over forty hours a week. There was nothing I didn't know about it.?

No one-hour corporate visit would shake my confidence. I'd seen the worst and lived to speak about it.

The Worst of it

One manager I had was stoic and cold. She'd pencil in TB by your name on the schedule for the day, which meant?touch base. A touch base was never good. She wasn't going to sit down with me and tell me what an asset I was to the team. She wasn't going to tell me how stylish I was or thank me for coming in ten minutes early every day.

No. No, she wasn't.

I'd see TB on the schedule and be flooded with anxiety.

One of the craziest moments was when she said, "I'm not sure about your personality,"

We were sitting down at a TB in our windowless office. Outside, the sun shined bright in a cloudless sky. Inside our office was no light other than artificial, fluorescent light. (God forbid the people who design retail buildings install a window in the office.)

Wait, what did she just say? Oh, that's right, she wasn't sure about my personality.

She went on to say that I was always calm and I didn't express much emotion. Nothing seemed to shake me.?

I guess leading with a calm and even tone was a bad thing. I was beyond confused.?

She also said that I was too slow. I needed to pick up my pace — physically. She wanted me to walk faster through the building. I already felt like I was running around and couldn't fathom how to move any quicker, but I vowed to try.

What Now

Whenever I received harsh feedback like this, I'd listen and do my best to implement what my bosses wanted. However, at some point in your career, you realize certain requests are just bullsh!t.?

I can't "change my personality." It was also rude and hurtful that she expressed this. What did she expect me to do? She didn't say.

Also, I will not run around like the store is always on fire. It's unnecessary and causes stress within the team. I knew that even then.

Listen to what your bosses say. Take notes and reflect. Take action on what they tell you to do. If it doesn't work, tell them. Explain why it doesn't work.?

Years into my career, I realized I was free to make decisions and take action — as long as I could back up why I did it.?

Building confidence at work takes time. Be honest with yourself about what's working and not working.?

Be vocal. I did this too late. I didn't want to upset anyone or rock the boat. Finally, I no longer cared. I wanted my store to run as well as it possibly could, so I always gave feedback.?

Then when I had a pop visit from corporate, and they called me out for something, I could say, "Yes. I emailed my regional manager about that. We're working on it."

Being shaken by harsh feedback is never easy.?

Take a deep breath. Repeat back the expectations and do your best to move forward. Tomorrow is a new day.?

When you leave work, leave everything at the door. Clear your mind on your commute home. Do something you love for an hour. Listen to loud music or call your friend. I used to go to the gym, turn up my playlist, and imagine all my frustrations under my feet on the treadmill. With every step, I'd imagine I was stomping them into flat little pancakes.

Whatever works, right?

Remember, most companies move quickly. Next week, your boss' focus may be somewhere else.?

Me? I eventually took my personality elsewhere and ended up running a totally kick-ass store for a company and for people who appreciated me.

Remember, this is one day, and your options for work are endless.

You got this.

Hey, I'm Kit. I spent two decades leading teams in retail stores. I now write full-time and help smart business people with their LinkedIn presence. DM me.

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