The Resume Guarantee Con

THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS ARTICLE ARE SOLELY THOSE OF THE AUTHOR

This is the first of a two-part series on questionable practices by so-called "professional resume writers." It is not an indictment of all, just a warning to be cautious...

I had a very nice chat with a potential resume writing client. At the end, as I always do, I asked her if she had any additional questions for me. She did. "Do you give a guarantee?" "A guarantee of what?" I asked. "That I'll get a job," she replied. I smiled; I did not laugh.

I explained to her that the purpose of the resume is to get the interview, not the job offer. That's the purpose of the interview. So, I certainly could not offer her a guarantee of a job since I don't know how well she interviews.

As for getting interviews, again, if she applies for jobs she wants but, based on the job description, the employers do not want her, she won't get an interview.

The bottom line is that a job search has too many variables to offer a guarantee.

She thanked me and told me that she had spoken with resume writers who offer the guarantee she wants. I asked her what they charge. She told me, but you won't believe me if I tell you.

So why would someone charge low four-figures (Oops!) for a resume? (Why would anyone pay that much?) There has to be a logical reason. For the job seeker, it is obviously fear and desperation. But I may know what the resume writer is up to.

A couple of years ago I ghost wrote the autobiography of a retired senior tobacco industry executive. I learned a lot. One thing that surprised me was that having to charge a tax on products is a good thing if the business can hold on to the money for a guaranteed period of time and if the product they are selling which is being taxed will continue to be sold for the foreseeable future.

This is what happens:

The company collects the tax. They turn it over to the government after one, two, three, or maybe even more months. So, let's say, the January tax collection is paid to the government in April; February's in May; etc., etc. etc. What does that mean? It means the company is getting a government loan, interest free, for three months. And if they are collecting large sums, that money can go to capital improvements, expansion, whatever.

So maybe the resume writers charging, let's say, $1,000 for a resume, are doing the same thing. The client pays $1,000. But it's not one client it's, let's be conservative, and say, five. And the guarantee is for six months. And they always secure five clients a month. That's a $5,000 monthly, interest free-loan, for whatever period the guarantee is. Perfectly legal (I think) but not very ethical (I know).

On the other hand, it might be akin to a hidden "free shipping and handling" charge. Does anyone really believe that "free shipping" is really "free?" I hope not. It's all included in the price. If the company sells enough widgets, that can offer "free shipping." It makes the consumer feel good. So does a resume guarantee, but at what cost?

Or, I may be overthinking this and they're just a bunch of con artists taking advantage of the naive and vulnerable.

Next week we'll look at resume reviewers, that is to say ATS-friendly resume reviewers.

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