Restless Hearts

"Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly I'm not half the man I used to be.
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly."

Yesterday by The Beatles

Part of the lore and the legend of Alexander the Great involves a story about him with his unexpected reaction.  He lived a charmed life as heir to his father's throne, and he was tutored by the Greek philosopher Aristotle as a teenager.  He became the king of Macedon at the age of 20.  As the King, he turned his country into an empire, and he is regarded as one of the best military minds of all time.  His brilliant warfare tactics are still taught in military academies.  Through his conquests, Alexander aided the spread of Greek culture around the world.  He was not only a king, but a reigning champion, and one of the most iconic figures of all time.

However, by the age of 33 he had conquered all the countries around him that he could reach by land.  He was the world's most renown military genius, and he was unprepared for a day in which he could no longer prove his military prowess.  So with no more enemies to fight, it is said that his response to was sit and weep.  The most brilliant military mind of his day was moved to tears of anguish.  

In this story, Alexander is revealed as one who draws his identity in what he has been able to achieve.  If he is not the conqueror, then who is he? He answers that question with bitter tears.  It is the same question that Rhonda Rousey struggled with after losing her MMA title in December.  She began to question her own existence after her loss, “I was down in the corner [of the medical room], and I was like, ‘What am I anymore if I’m not this?’ I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself.”  The first defeat of her career sent her into an absolute tailspin.  How does such an accomplished person began to fall apart so quickly? 

"Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle. "

-Lewis Carroll

  Isn't this a reoccurring theme played out on many of the reality TV shows?  We see individuals or families that have a meteoric rise to notoriety, and then as that fame begins to dissipate, we see desperation as that identity begins to slide away from them.  What lengths would they go to stay famous?   How many scandals, divorces, or rehab assignments do we see for these people once the spotlight of fame is moved from them?   Their personal lives often because toxic as their desperate attempts to remain famous are futile.

Lorenz Sell is a person who experienced both having nothing and having much. He spent months living out of his car as he tried to get his start up company off the ground, and he now enjoys great success with that same company.  He says, "Identity is that collection of attributes that defines how we see ourselves. It is the answer to the question: Who am I? Anyone who has ever seriously asked themselves that question may have found that the answer is not as obvious as one might think it should be."  The harsh reality is that once something that defines us is taken away, then we are left to sort out what remains.  Am I no more than a collection of attributes?  What are we left to conclude when those attributes slip through our fingers like sand? 

"Where would I be without baseball? Who am I without baseball?"

-Bob Uecker

 In the movie Fight Club, the narrator says, "Marla's philosophy of life is that she might die at any moment.  The tragedy, she said, was that she didn't."   There can also be a stigma attached to our lives when we never quite meet our own expectations for joy and contentment.  We are left to wonder if we can find any consolation in a life defined as mundane and bland.  What if the titles, wealth, prestige, honor, and fame are never woven into the fabric of our lives?  Who are we if we never reach the levels of success that we so desire?

  We may feel the heartbreak of Alexander the Great, struggle with seemingly pointless existence like Marla, or feel the same level of despair as Rhonda Rousey, as we yearn to figure out who we are and find value for our lives.  Augustine said,  "Our Hearts are restless until we find our rest in thee."  When we seek contentment in material possessions, achievements, or even in how others treat us, then we are are doomed.  We can't keep up the sprint as the finish line moves further away before we can cross it, and we realize that a 40 yard dash has morphed into a marathon.  We can't keep up the pace and our contentment stays beyond our reach. 

"Because we lack a divine center our need for security has led us into an insane attachment to things."

-Richard Foster

The "Good News" of the Gospel is that we don't rely on anything from our merit or work, we have to rely on the finished work of Christ on our behalf.   John Newton said, "I am a great sinner and he is a great savior."  The weight of trying to continually find contentment is removed in the completed work of Christ on the cross.  When we believe Jesus as he said,  "It is Finished."  The Apostle Paul's words become true for us, "Not that I speak from want,  for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am."  At least, this is how it should be. 

However, Tim Keller makes this observation,  "Most contemporary people base their inner life on their outward circumstances.  Their inner peace is based on other people's validation of them, and on their social status, prosperity, and performance.  Christians do this as much as anyone."  The stinging reality is that believers struggle with remaining content as much as any other demographic.  It isn't just about knowing the truth, but it is imperative that we keep that truth in front of us or we fall into the same fruitless search as the rest of society.  We are prone to forget, and then we become a toy ship out in the ocean tossed about by the wind and fearful of every approaching wave. 

 How can we keep this truth in front of us?  There is a battle being waged for your attention, affections, and your heart, and it must be engaged daily.   Are you willing to wage war against the lies that you are defined by what you do?  The real fight club is not waged with conventional weapons or fists, it is waged with exposing the lies that we tend to believe and pressing towards the promises of the scriptures. 

Here are three ways that we can fight for our contentment in Christ alone.  First, we need to find time each day to read and meditate on God's word.  We need to hear over and over his promises to us (Joshua 1:8), and allow thanksgiving and praise to be our response.  Secondly, we need to have consistent times of reflection, where we pray to the Lord for him to show us those places where we are chasing contentment in other things (Psalm 139:23-34).  We can contemplate these questions, what am I loving today more than God? Where are the idols in my life? 

Thirdly, we need to seek the council of Godly community, people who love us and have a genuine concern for our lives.  They need to have an open platform to speak truth into our lives, because they are invested in us.  They can point out blind spots where we are struggling with finding our identity in externals (Proverbs 27:17).  An additional set of eyes gives us a vantage point that we could not reach on our own.  

 Thomas Merton was able to answer this question of identity like this, "Who am I?  I am one loved by Christ."  He realized that the ultimate source of his happiness was tied to his identity.  He found his identity in his relationship with Christ.  Can we find the strength to fight to keep this truth in our hearts and minds?    

  "A tomb now suffices him for whom the whole world was not sufficient."

-Alexander the Great