Restarting a Relationship

What relationships do you have that have stood the test of time?? Where trust is foundational, honesty flows in both directions, and there is a sense of support that transcends everything. Strength is generated from the connection and time stops when you need help.? It is a place where you can go anytime with anything, and you know you will be supported. If you have this kind of relationship, consider yourself to be blessed.

There are also the opposite relationships that are difficult, broken, unfulfilling. Life is full of relationships, and they can be found at all levels in your personal and professional lives.

How do you transform a relationship?? There is a point where “fixing things” becomes daunting, and it seems easier to restart with a fresh page, intentionally facing one step at a time.

I had a client who believed she was great at collaborating.? The reality was that her peers and direct reports did not see her collaborating.? In fact, some saw the relationship as a roadblock to getting things done. She lacked the awareness, openness, and vulnerability she needed to move forward; however, she was determined to create a new path.? She was one of the most courageous people I have worked with as she started rebuilding relationships one step at a time.

Here is a strategy that I found works when there is self-awareness and an honest desire to change a relationship.

• Courageously and sincerely let the other person know you are interested in creating a new relationship – one that is positive for both of you.
• Ask what an ideal relationship would look like.
• Put emotions and defenses aside to truly listen to what is desired, then share in a clear and assertive way what you desire and need.
• Partner on creating the path forward.
• Work the steps together openly giving and receiving feedback.

My client was incredibly successful because of her sincerity, vulnerability, and gratitude.? It took time to convince others that this was not a short-term situation. But through time and her commitment to change, she found that the behaviors she learned not only impacted her work life but her personal life as well.

It is well worth some uncomfortable moments to reap the benefits of a meaningful relationship.

At Optimum Impact Coaching we have created assessments, workshops, and one-to-one coaching experiences to help leaders increase their skills in these areas.??For more information contact us at optimumimpactcoaching.com or connect with our coaches: Bonnie Maitlen, Ed.D.??BCC, PCC | Roberta Fiore-Kittell, MCC ?| Kevin Logeman, MBA, PCC

Author: Bonnie Maitlen, Ed.D.??BCC, PCC