REST IF YOU MUST… DON’T YOU STOP

If you really are a movie buff like me and have this intrinsic imaginative mind as mine, I am sure you really had this vision of your future self and were dreamy eyed about it, at least one if not more aspects of your life.... be it career, love life or some other probable passion. No kidding, it could be an inspiration from Karan Johar movies regarding the picture perfect life which undoubtedly includes the following prittle prattle : being more desirable or going to foreign universities for higher education, having perfectly radiant skin, being the crush of a million souls (common folks, this dream still prevails somewhere inside you, doesn’t it?), having doting family members(without any friction... wink wink), having incredible support system in form of great friends, having a large closet which won’t let you run out of clothes in a century (bonus point: having matching footwear, accessories, and handbags).... and the list goes on and forth...

Ok, I will just go ahead and accept the fact that I was one of the lost souls who was dreamy eyed about future with a rose tint glass on and whilst I was dwelling into the Bollywood fantasies of A PERFECT FUTURE, I carved one for myself too (typically Bollywood bright... guilty) Bobin in Bobin world, with an invincible future carving an everlasting niche on this world... yup dearest readers, I wanted to be the change and hope and inspire people with my take on everything... and I thought that I would be unstoppable.

But you see I just thought and never really got to the working part, I just thought like movies everything would work out by itself, everything would just alright fall in place with my existential aura (I know- a hardcore dreamer, right)... I never planned on doing anything in specification, just thought life would be piece of cake, and I would become an alright journalist or a columnist, whatever would suit... but you see life happened ... as it does to every living creature on the face of planet , and it took me with its powerful gusts and nothing went according to my thought process (seriously, are you kidding, how could life be a Karan Johar movie, Bobin?).

I was too busy living the present scenario, just juggling between the school, tuition classes, extra-curricular, and all this stuff just kept me on my toes… and of course not even an ounce of time on my hands regarding the future planning, backups, the career scenario, never really prepared for that you see… and then the clock struck 9 and there I was at the mercy of my parents, like most of Indian kids, not allowed to chase my passion and pushed into this very real world of unrealistic expectation, that weight my delicate shoulders were not ready to take… so I lost… yeah lost some precious years of life, lost on the opportunity to go to a college, lost the opportunity of education in some premier institutes of our motherland, lost the chance to study with some very capable minds…. But, but, but did I lose? … Hell no.

Life is, was and will be tough because I can’t step into your shoes and you can’t into mine, that does not mean you whine about it and let things go, you have to make them happen, after all, it’s you who is living it, go about it and get things done.

Not just saying but that time and the failure of not even reaching on the ground standard of dream levels built for me by my smart and dedicated parents hurt, it hurt them and result being, I was abstained and banished from going about my way anymore, and was forced into non worthy ventures (yup, was made to take admission in a third tier college in one of the remotest corners of our very own hometown) and with that followed few months of crying to bed, crying on my way to my alma mater… but here comes the best part… dropped out of it, and I have never really looked back since then. I made it a point to prove my mettle, and I am still working on it. Now what do you think, did I lose? (Assuming you would shout at the top of your lungs, HELL NOT BOBIN).

I just became more tough (ofcourse, a crybaby at times), started dreaming again, gave myself a little time, build a perspective, developed a focus and a goal to chase.

So was that time wasted or invested? I wouldn’t classify it into any of those two great words because it doesn’t quite sync with me, you see it was just a flow … that happened because of my some immature decisions, the good point being that I learned , quoting the great Rafiki from The Lion King : “The past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either RUN from it or LEARN from it” .

So folks, stop brooding over mis happenings or your decisions gone wrong or the consequences not being desirable because when life takes its course, it is bound to be out of control (it’s actually a proof of you being alive), it’s very much fine for your plans to backfire or for things not happening our way sometimes… I know it sucks… But you just had your own little first attempt at learning and that demands some celebration, some patience, some gratitude, sometime… yes, your time to make that teeny tiny beginning into an endeavor and an adventure that you would take on for the rest of while.

So my point here is that …. Not always you will end up getting what you want, not always you will be doing what you love, not always you will be working for your passion, not always you will be chasing your dreams because sometimes you might fail, sometimes stars might not favor you, sometimes you just did not try hard enough (common now, don’t you even try and come up with an excuse about all of this now, be truthful and accept it, you can’t always blame it on the universe dear baby).

But the secret lies in “KEEP GOING”, keep moving, doesn’t matter you crawl, slither, take baby steps, trod … but don’t just stop. Get over things not meant to be, stop fretting over what’s long gone (cliched, but apt). Make some realistic daily goals, plan again, dream once more, just get your ass working on something… don’t just sit in some dark corner of your dimly lit up aura, rather spark it up even if it is for living the moment because only Moss takes over a resting stone.

“You build on failure. You see it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your Energy, or any of your Time, or any of your Space.” - Johnny Crash

P.S.- Don’t take Bollywood too seriously, especially KJo ….

Bobin Deswal, the next door writer

Pictures:unsplash