Rest is Revolutionary as Fuck

I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again: choosing rest is more than self-care.?

It’s revolutionary as fuck.

When we choose rest over work - over all the “pushing through it” and? “giving it 110%” BS - what we’re really doing is standing up for ourselves, choosing ourselves, and leading in our culture and legacy (alongside sticking a middle finger up to capitalism).

As members of a capitalist society, we’ve been conditioned from a young age to believe that more work is essential. That it’s the only way. That we can’t get anywhere without it.

Rest, on the other hand, is seen as something dirty: only the lazy rest and only the unintelligent do nothing.

But people are slowly realizing that… we’ve all been lied to.?

And by seeing through the bullshit, we’ve collectively decided that we’re done taking shit from a system that uses and abuses us to help others get ahead.

A capitalism coup d’état.

But this doesn’t always come easy. Rest is, in fact, a privilege; and certain people - like communities of color, migrants, forced migrants, etc. - are well aware of this.

“But I’m a leader! I can’t take a break…”

A comment I hear a lot from the leaders and C-suite executives that I work with usually goes a little something like this:

“But, Shiva, I can’t take a break! I’m the leader of my team - how would they function without me.”

The answer to that is: they’d function just fine.

A lot of leaders are usually stuck between wanting to rest (or needing to rest), but wanting to make sure that things still get done under their watch.?

This usually creates a ton of tension between the leader and their team:

• Leaders feel resentful, burnt-out, and angry that they can’t take a break
• Teams feel like they’re being “nannied” and that their leader doesn’t trust them to operate on their own

The biggest issue I see in today’s leadership is the need to do all of the things, all of the time: you have to oversee it all, know it all, approve it all, etc.

Basically, your identity is so deeply attached to your work that you don’t know who you are without your role. Outside of the office, with friends, with family - that piece of you is so subtle that you forget it even exists…

And, not being able to separate yourself from what you produce, you fail to see that your value goes way beyond the nameplate, to-do list, and office you hold so dear.

*Side note: Dear reader, if no one’s told you today yet… you are a human.

And this cycle can be broken with a little help from our friends: rest and community care.

Rest, but not that much

Now, let’s go back to the idea of “rest” being a dirty word.

Migrants, forced migrants, communities of color… we all live under the watchful eye of white supremacy and capitalism.

A system that already tells us we’re not made equal, that we’re “less than”, and that we need to earn the spot we want and fight to keep it.?

So we push ourselves twice as hard and work more than our white counterparts to meet an unattainable standard of productivity and value.

After all, we need to prove that we’re worthy. We need to show everyone that we’re valuable. We need to crush the stereotypes that say that the BIPOC community is lazy, unintelligent, hostile, etc.

(You know, all those ridiculous and racist lies that white supremacy believes and continues to spread.)

But this need to work, do, produce, make, hustle, push out, and go-go-go doesn’t just come from society…

It also comes from the people who are meant to support us most: our parents.

As children of migrants and TCKs, we’ve been told time and time again about the sacrifices that our parents had to make to give us the life we have now.?

They left their home, they left their family, they worked under-paid and under-appreciated jobs, they had to learn a new language…

It’s a neverending list of guilt-tripping and highlighting sacrifices.

We grew up listening to this.?

When we got a shitty grade back, our parents would remind us they didn’t have the opportunity to go to such an amazing school.

When we were let go or passed over for a job, they’d be the first to tell us that they didn’t have the same employment opportunities and that we should work harder to land jobs.

Engrained in our heads was the idea that every misstep was a failure - and that we weren’t doing our parents right by (their idea of ) “fucking up” or taking a different path.

Rest? That was out of the fucking question. “You don’t need to rest, rest is for the weak! Rest is for the unintelligent! You can do it without taking a break!”

And being our parents, they must be right… right? They must want what’s best for us… right?

So we did all that for a little while. Until we couldn’t even get out of bed without crying.

Because here’s the thing: overworking out of fear didn’t necessarily lead to making our parents proud, nor did we become the successful version they hoped for…

It led to burnout.?

And burnout didn’t come at it alone, no way. It brought its friends self-loathing, shame, and guilt with it.

Once the feelings of burnout - and all its little friends - subsided, we realized one thing: maybe our parents weren’t that right after all.

Maybe the revolution wasn’t overworking and one-upping others as a means to avoid white supremacy’s disdain (and division).

Maybe the real revolution was in taking care of ourselves, of looking after each other, and taking a fucking break.

Say it with me: “Rest is the real revolution.”

Leaning into rest & relaxation

It’s not a secret that I am currently on a two-month sabbatical from any client-facing or group work at the moment.

I set my OOO email, blocked out my schedule, and I’m using this summer as the time to tackle some major life admin stuff that I kept putting off because work got in the way.

I’m also using this time to actually rest. As in, stare at the ceiling when I feel like it, read all the books I want to consume, meet up with friends, dedicate quality time to my partner… all of the good stuff that brings me so much joy.

This also means that The Fireside is officially on pause until further notice.

However, I’m not unaware of the privilege this entails. I can afford to take two months off, I don’t have to worry about losing my clients, and I don’t need to think about what my “team” is doing without me.?

It’s an immense amount of privilege!

But, because of that, I want to make sure I’m using it right.?

I’m working - while not-working, hah - to become a role model for a different type of lifestyle: one that prioritizes rest, playtime, and joy over any capitalist ideal of production.

This means I also want to share with you one of the resources that I’ve found most powerful on this road to rest and relaxation: @thenapministry.

A community dedicated to examining and showcasing the “liberating power of naps”, they’re a fantastic source if you’re looking to nourish yourself with messages of rest, care, and revolution.

Now go on and take a revolutionary nap. I’ll be doing the same.

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