Responsive Leadership Reduces Worry

Hi there ????. Ready to lead? "Acts of Leadership" helps people, (irrespective of title or tenure), expand their leadership range one experiment at a time. Each issue shares a [pro/e]vocative definition of leadership, an idea and an experiment.

Surprising Feedback

I was on the receiving end of a powerful act of leadership not so long ago.

An email arrived.

The sender was a wonderful coaching client. They called me out for failing to uphold one of my own agreements. I felt the immediate downward rush of emotion— a fast slide into shame, guilt, and self-anger.

Time to step into the classroom and pay attention to the lesson on offer.

When I got out of my own way for a moment I had space to consider how my client might be feeling— both in the lead-up to the email and then the actual writing of it.

Then I connected with appreciation. Simply having this email in front of me showed the value they put on our coaching relationship. They showed powerful leadership in ‘naming it’.

Time for me to take ownership of my failure and acknowledge the situation I had put my client in.

A Definition…

"Leadership is... closing the loop, so that no one has to make up stories."

An Idea…

Feedback and Responsiveness

Closing the Loop

Responsiveness means closing the loop on any communication that requires a response. It means that neither of you ever need to guess, or make up stories.

Helpful Advice

I vividly remember important advice from a previous line manager.

“Always close the loop”, is how I paraphrase it.

Part relationship advice, part career advice and part system design.

The guidance was simple enough. For a short list of specific people, my line manager included, I should always respond immediately to their messages.

To portray the required amount of 'urgency'.

Even just to acknowledge I’d seen it. Answer immediately if I am confident I can. Otherwise drop a short reply to acknowledge and set a timeframe, to set expectations.

Friction from ego

I remember feeling resistance to that advice.

I did do the hard work to develop the behaviour of always responding immediately to those people.

Looking back it feels like some of the resistance I experienced was probably resentment. A sense of some perceived power imbalance. So mostly my ego in fact.

It seems some things went unsaid by me. Perhaps it would have served me well to make those agreements in person with everyone on the list. That way I could have asked for what I needed too, and more fully co-designed our relationship around this.

Important vs. Urgent gone wrong

I still experience a little friction with this idea.

I have some flawed logic that goes something like…

“This is important and warrants a proper, well-considered, response from me. I’m in the middle of something I’m working hard to get finished. I’ll be sure to respond to this later when I have time to do it properly.”

No prizes for guessing what patterns play out next!

Create good systems

If I truly pay attention to this lesson then I’ll leave with better systems than I came in with.

“We do not rise to the level of our goals. We fall to the level of our systems” (— James Clear)

Better systems will ensure…

? – I respond immediately to comms that require a response

? – all outstanding comms are always visible to me

An Experiment…

?? Have 5 one-on-one conversations this week to review and agree on communication expectations between you. Make it a conversation, using both advocacy and inquiry, inviting your partner to ask questions and seek agreements.

?? Establish your group norms for communication. Then commit them in a shared doc and keep referring to them

An invitation to explore…

?? Book: Radical Candor : Be a kickass boss without losing your humanity | Kim Scott

?? YouTube: Forget about setting goals, focus on this instead | James Clear (4:16)

?? YouTube: 3 Strategies for prioritisation “ Tim Ferris (2:20)

Leadership needn't be lonely!

Lead when ready!

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