Responsibility Fatigue?

Find it difficult to balance responsibilities?

To co-exist in any environment there is always an expectation to share responsibilities and stay accountable to them. We also call it professionalism however I want to go a little deeper into this conversation to create an understanding about different kinds of personalities in this context. This may support to creation of understanding, empathy, and comprehension to support choices accordingly.

While responsibility is a positive expression of obedience, it also has grey shades. I am using Responsibility Syndrome as a term to express the default styles that may create blind spots in our perspectives. Due to diverse personalities/styles in a particular environment, Responsibility syndrome can create biases, conflicts and misunderstandings.

So in my observation so far, when it comes to executing responsibilities I have noticed these four kinds of patterns in people. Needless to say, we are learning here and not judging anyone in particular, Are you with me??

I am giving some names to these categories only for the sake of making it more relatable so no offence, please :-)

1. The free bird: Someone who has never been taught how to take responsibility so essentially been brought up in a very protected environment. Responsibility is an alien concept to them. Such people find it difficult to invest in relationships, for them it’s mostly about receiving. Giving may or may not be resonant to them. By being raised in a protected environment they subconsciously develop habits that manifest a protective ecosystem that takes care of them. There may be exceptions based on the conditioning. Responsibility Fatigue is faced by the environment in such cases.

2. The Good Boy/Girl: The givers of free birds are the good boys/girls. They keep taking responsibility at home/office and identify themselves with this trait so much so that they feel guilty for not supporting others even if that was not expected from them. Their responsibility syndrome is quite visible in their environment and hence they invite more and more tasks to their plate.

Typically older kids in the family go through this syndrome. Such people commonly go through responsibility fatigue at some point in their lives when they feel tired of giving. The syndrome creates the complexity of being a people pleaser with passive aggression due to the suppression of emotions and unmet needs and expectations. Such individuals find it hard to assert themselves in their environment and may underestimate their potential at work. so their constant internal battle makes it hard for them to take their stands.

3. The Pushy one: Another category could be people who know how to take responsibility and execute them well. They have a high sense of dedication towards their tasks and responsibilities so much so that they come across as "pushy" to others. Their focus on achieving something makes them impatient with timelines and people. These are archives with unbelievable focus. Responsibility fatigue shows up in the way of physical/mental stress.

4. Poker face Buddy: The fourth category consists of people who have been pushed to take responsibility early on especially when they were not ready. So they have experienced untimely stretch and can respond in either way.

1. Become the good boy/girl- mentioned above
2. The rebel

The rebel generally comes across as indifferent. Their responses are not obvious and there is always a danger of assumptions and bias with them.

They may care deeply but may not want to take responsibility or want to carefully choose their responsibilities or vice versa.

They may create hard boundaries around them to ensure no one expects anything from them. Their demeanour and communication communicate their boundaries. Too much of expectations overwhelm them and they try to stay aloof to stay safe from any kind of disappointment. This also qualifies as Responsibility Fatigue.

Now these tendencies are developed in our personalities early in our life based on the environment we have been provided. Nuclear and joint families create different sets of tendencies in people and these tendencies play a huge role at work as well. Similarly, the culture of the country/region and society plays a huge role in the development of these personalities.

Now if you look closely this is essentially a confusion between?

Caring vs Carrying. I am using "May" to avoid generalisations.

• Free Bird - May Carry Less, May Care less
• The Good Boy/Girl - May Carry more, May Care more
• The Responsible Buddy - May Carry more, May Care less
• Poker Face buddy - May Care less/more, May Carry less/more

Now why are we exploring this?

By now you have already plotted the people in your mind and possibly started understanding their perspective. Let's see what possibilities can we create.

Remember, The demon of bias enters from the gate of judgment!

So even if there are focus areas in each category there are several strengths too. The wisdom is to stop the demon of bias at the gate and open the window where the light of the strengths enters.

• A Free bird may be a talented focused individual capable of producing results effortlessly. Artists may fall into this category.
• A good boy/girl is excellent in keeping people together, all of us need some bit of this in a social environment.
• A responsible buddy gets things done against all odds
• A poker face buddy is great at keeping boundaries.

Now it is pretty much possible for humans/leaders/parents/partners to use all these gears provided we are aware and we making conscious choices.

We all have our default however we also can shift and adapt. Situational awareness and decision making is the key need in today's unpredictable environment. If we can use the right gear at the right time, we can sail smoothly in almost all situations.

What's required is to continuously reflect to create Unshakeable Waters.

What do you think? Do share in the comments.