Responsibility and Children

Every parent wants their children to be responsible and try various ways to make their children responsible. Each one of us as a parent born and bought up in diff culture, raised with different values and we try to pass on the same to our children too, without acknowledging the fact that time has changed now. Today’s young generation is diametrically different from us when we were raised long back.

 One of the most common ways of trying to make our children responsible is to let them help their parents in house chores- like cleaning their own room, collect all scattered toys and place them at the designated place, pick up all papers on the floor etc. despite knowing or willing to know that child is happy to do it or not.

But does this really help?

And the answer is big NOOOOO.

Responsibility cannot be imposed, it can only grow from within, fed and directed by values that children observe every day at home and in the communities.

 For example. There are 2 families

Family 1 – This family instructs their child every time to do one thing or the other despite even bothering that child is interested or not in accepting all such instructions and never cared what child feels all about those parent’s instructions but child does all whatever and whatever parents instruct. This child is internally developing a judgement about his/her parents and work around and not willingly accepting the task and developing negative impression about even small task at home. Parents never allow this child to take his/her decisions. Parents themselves are not willing in house chores but want their child to be responsible.

Family 2 – Parents themselves do all the house chores and rarely tell their child to help. They also allow their child to take his/her own decisions, at least those decisions which does not impact anyone at all but to a child self-image a lot. Like buying dress of his/her choice, buying shoes of his/her choice etc. even at very young age of 5 yrs. Sometimes child does house chores too willingly and happily even when parents don’t instruct. Here Parents try to connect with their child rather than controlling their child.

Which child will be More responsible?

Responsibilities and Values cannot be taught, they are observed and become part of child only thru identification of person at home who gain his/her love and respect.

Responsibility in children starts with parent’s own attitude. Attitude includes willingness to allow children to express what they feel, how they feel.

Gone are the days when parents forcefully make their children to accept and learn whatever parents wants them to teach.

Everything starts from US as a Parent, If we (Parents) wants to inculcate good habits and responsibilities in our children, first of all we have to change ourself and develop within us what we want to pass on to our children.