In Response to an Older Friend Dian

45 minutes ago

Michele DeMeo And 70! Really!?!?! I know we had an age difference, but I never thought of it....actually, I never did or do...lol. I was a young teen flirting and ended up dating a woman n her late twenties. I always loved the company of older woman... Gabby ( Johann) says she robbed the crib..lol. I came on to her...and we barely have an age difference, 7 years... that's a lot to her. But also, she like younger woman...yikes, just teasing we are strong.

But seriously, I love what a mature woman offers. She knows herself for the most part. Most open, less self conscious, sexier, more experienced in the world which is even sexier. I only dated one woman, young woman my age fir a very very short period of time...nope, not my thing. I might have been 16-17... ALL she could talk about was music, school kids stuff. I was on my own...never thought I was a kid, didn't live like one.

Worked like there was no tomorrow with at least three jobs...hence, starting my business at about 19 besides my ALWAYS present day role at a particular hospital at the time. I never wanted to have only one source if security, plus, I loved the challenge. The more I had to do the better I got, the more I learned, it was my first and biggest passion besides activism...then came dating...no..then, The yaught club, when it was around, beating and " running" the pool table, chatting diverse bartenders up, meeting before they were famous, was Susan Westenhauffer...then flirting and dancing.

Besides, I had a job to do...at night just before Lou would close up, and last shot was called, a lot of feminine, friends and maybe others would come get me,.. they wanted to go get (maybe a jersey thing) fries with gravy and coffee at a place calle, usually, Paul's dinner. It's still there. Sometimes we would go elsewhere. Anyway, they didn't get jus to do that...this was the late 80s early 90s. Police used to hide down the long dark stretch of .Oak Ridge road or Jefferson road as locals would call it. the club, which was like family had room above it...we had holidays together, baraques on Dundays before the place would formally open, anyway the police were always out to either or both ticket us or beat us. There were no street signs. On nights, which I was usually the designated driver, mire femme woman that leaned they could trust me would park in another town or at the dinner and if pick them up...go to the club and leave with them...they paid me back in coffee...lol. Anyway...I drove and sometimes another more butch woman would take a second car and follow my lead. I was so so careful. I turn the car just slightly out of the lot to try to see if I could catch any reflective material coming out of the woods.

I was mostly successful.

But when you'd go to the club, not including Maddies, nearly every night and weekends for years.... 15-19... several times I'd miss the cars. But I made sure I drove. I didn't drink..but I was firm which annoyed them, the police. I was respectful, but being gay and butch or male and gay period...not good. Anyway...I made sure, because they we going to to do it anyway, that I got pulled out and fast. So, he would call other cars. He would grab me and sometime anyother butch woman I had or was following me as they usually drove with two in the car. We took the ticket and the beating so the less strong, physically strong woman, wouldn't gave to.

Yeah...they got a mouth whipping about not hanging with thugs like us and they were real woman...but only once did I fail in my job. It sometimes haught me to this day, but I know I did my best...I tried to get myself out from the vesting of the one so I coyld pull the othe off the "pretty woman"...'(paraphrasing) that just needed to see what the real deal was...anyway... dozens and dozens of times a friend I took just a rough beating... nothing a few days if being sore couldn't handle. I knew Lou's place, at the time, besides Maddies...a great place... I need to write a book about both...both so so different.. was needed at the time. We really didn't have many other choices. Many weren't welcomed home and while GAAMC was hot, huge...largest in the east coast...was more about social reform, lobbying, fun social committees, outings, etc. the two setting were for two needs but so different, I loved them both. I enmeshed myself into both. Being a committee leader for many groups, on the board of directors, lobbying, marching in the famous March on Washington in 93... the first tine the AIDS blanket was unvailed.

Anyway...I know I'm weaving two different lifestyles into one story, but it was part of my life...just add in my incredible work schedule...lol. Times were so different. I'd listen to older men and some woman safe what Stonewall was like...and I thought as they would share, wow, what a difference we have made, not really...not when you're getting beating from local police on a routine basis...lol. Yet...now I see it...the timeline and map.... from before 15 to now 44... a time when the speculation that my flamboyant "Jim" one day after several months of not seeing him walked in and the bartender...name not necessary...said ..'"dear god...he has the ' gay mans dancer'...." yeah, he did, we didn't talk about it. He bought me a shot and told me to never give up....he knew I was a bit scared even though most thought I was so strong... he winked and told me ...to just do it...and do I did. I tried to help make social reform, attended less of the clubs more of GAAMC.

Well, the clubs closed pretty quickly after the gay mans cancer was renamed HIV and AIDs, Lou lost his place. Ironically, I my first home I bought was just around the corner on the same road from the side enerance of the driveway....down Redmans...number 3 Redmans drive. Gosh I loved it..,no...not quite as much as my bungalow in York...but I KNOW Gabby would have. Yet, if I kept it we would have never met, who knows how my life would have turned out. But I loved it...it had its own dock, bears, yeah....nose prints on the sliding glass doors, surrounded but unique homes not too close together, in the middle of the woods. It backed against Piccatinny ArsenaL. I remember 9/01 and massive near silent trucks driving down this small back woods road into the back covered enterence of the asensal.

A bit conviluted, intermixed, seemingly no plot, but from eyes it's a well written out music sheet of a part of my life that truly was fascinating and meaningful. I suppose I'm sharing because I'm trying, once I'm a bit better, how I can reclaim a bit of how I lived then now with more info, an incredible wife and new needs and objectives with less ability. I appreciate you letting share another long story.... please always feel free to do the same under this as a comment....ALWAYS...your voice is more than wanted, it's needed in order to place order to disorder or to at least understand one another better or our perspectives!

Hugs, M